Hi all! I'm taking a break from my knot posting pause to share my recap from a wedding I went to recently. I'd alluded to this upcoming wedding in a couple of my other posts, and it wound up being far worse than I had even feared. This was hands down the worst wedding that I've ever been to, and the etiquette violations were nearly too numerous to count. I'm sharing this story in the hopes that (1) it will dissuade other brides from making the same mistakes, and (2) it will entertain those of you who are already married and held well-hosted weddings.
Without further adieu, I give you the story of the greatest trainwreck of an event I have ever attended:
-This wedding took place at a camp in the middle of nowhere, way up north in the mountains. B & G were going for a rustic, outdoorsy, "quirky," unique event. They "encouraged" people to stay in cabins at the camp with them for the weekend. In late September. The cabins had no heat, electricity, or running water. We were assured before we went that because the cabins came equipped with heavy blankets and wood stoves and/or fireplaces, it would not be too cold and we would be fine to sleep up there. This was bullshit. It got down to the mid 30s at night and there was NO fireplace in our cabin (other cabins apparently did have fireplaces but even a fire can only do so much on a cold night). We and everyone else who stayed there froze our asses off for two nights. Everyone was miserable by the time it was time to leave.
-For the privilege of staying in these freezing cold uninsulated cabins, we PAID B & G. B & G rented out the whole venue/camp and asked guests to reimburse them for the cabins that they stayed in. Based on the camp's website, it appears HIGHLY likely that we were reimbursing them for not only the cabins, but for the meals that the camp provided while we stayed up there: including their wedding dinner.
-We were asked to bring a pie for a "pie swap" for dessert, because "pie is better than cake." Apparently even the B & G know that line is bullshit, because it turns out there WAS a cake to cut. But it was a small one and it was only for B & G and their families. The rest of us were stuck eating (or not eating) the random pies people had brought that had been sitting around the camp for two days.
-We were asked to bring makings for a cocktail for the cocktail hour. So in addition for paying for our cabins/food/pie, we provided liquor for the wedding as well. Beer and wine were supposedly to be provided by B & G, but the ONE keg that they bought for the 90 people there ran out by the end of Friday night (shocking), so some wedding guests who went in to town bought some more beer for the reception Saturday. So far as I know they were never reimbursed.
-There were chairs for maybe 30 people out of 90 for the ceremony. Everyone else had to stand or sit on blankets that had been spread on the ground. Note to brides who think guests sitting on blankets fits their "vision": nobody wants to sit on blankets on the ground at a wedding. People stood rather than sat on ratty blankets.
-But here's the kicker that tops EVERYTHING: after all of that rudeness and discomfort, WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SEE THEIR ACTUAL WEDDING. The officiant that B wanted to use apparently couldn't legally marry them in the state where the event took place, so an hour before their "wedding ceremony," they had a JP legally marry them with only their immediate family present. We froze our assess off and spent tons of money on lodging, food, pies, and liquor to watch the world's freshest vow renewal. They never told their guests that this was happening, but people found out about this and were FURIOUS.
B & G seemed over the moon happy and probably think they had an awesome wedding. They did not. They are going to lose friendships over this event. In addition to all of the snark we heard spoken behind B & G's back all weekend, we've spoken to several other guests since the event took place, and everybody feels really hurt and confused as to why they were treated so rudely by their friends. So please, future brides, I am begging you: do NOT pull this crap. It is not cute, or quirky, or unique. It is rude, and even if your guests don't say anything to you, they will feel that you've treated them horribly, and they will be right.