A dear friend of mine recently got engaged. When she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I was honored. After checking my calendar/finances/life state, I told her I would love to stand up with her. Now that she is in the thick of planning, and committing some serious etiquette faux pas, I'm wondering what my place is here. I'm not one to tell someone else their business, but since I'm standing up with her, do I have any responsibility to let her know that some people may be offended with the way that she's doing things?
A few of the issues:
1. A four hour gap. She's going with a 1 PM ceremony, and a 6 PM dinner reception. She has a lot of out of town guests, and I'm worried that they'll be frustrated with four hours of down time.
2. Tiered reception. She's having an open ceremony, which is common in our Church. But she's only inviting certain people to certain parts of the reception. The guest list splits our circle of friends, and I just know feelings are going to be hurt.
3. Cash bar.
I love this girl, and I know she means well. I'm not sure she realizes how rude these things are. Stepping down as a bridesmaid would severely damage our friendship, but I'm worried that bringing any of these issues up would do the same. (The gap is already set in stone, since she has booked the venues and put down the deposits.) I'm definitely a fan of the "not my circus, not my monkeys" mentality, so my instinct is to just let everything be. I'm just wondering if that's the best route.