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Let guests bring their bf/gf if we don't know them???

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Re: Let guests bring their bf/gf if we don't know them???

  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    spockforprez said:
    redoryx said:
    OP, unless you got engaged on your first date, there was also a time when you were "just dating."

    Suck it up, buttercup. 
    Fun fact: Buddy Holly did get engaged on his first date. They got married six weeks after that. Imagine some of these "6 months" or "1 year" rules back in the 50's! People used to meet, marry, and have a baby all within the first year! Not that I am recommending that, obviously.
    Yup, my own parents got engaged after 2 weeks, married 6 months after that.  No babies for a few years though :)
    Married 9.12.15
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  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
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    Oh and also, our best man was a "stranger" to me... I had never met him until 2 days before the wedding.  He has lived overseas for 3 years, and before that lived in another state.  Nevermind he's my H's best friend since Jr High... with the logic that people you've never met shouldn't be invited to your wedding.... he wouldn't have been invited.  
    Married 9.12.15
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Jen4948 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    Jen4948 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    banana468 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    I have never understood the "I don't want anyone to come to my wedding that I don't know" mentality.
    Me either!  
    add me to the list.

    My husband's #2 guy at work and his wife bringing their adult daughter as a driver (which we never met, but okay'd), then she brought a date (which we didn't know she was doing).  

     I'm like who is that good looking 6'8" bald guy over there?   Then I was told it was the daughter's date.    I'm like well I'm not sure why someone wants to go to their date's dad's boss's wedding 1.5 hours away in a tropical storm, but okay,cool.   He has a blast!  Dancing with all the old ladies on the dance floor.   To this day I do not know his name and have never seen him again, well unless I'm looking at some pictures.

    I can understand why people might not want to invite strangers to their wedding.  They want it to be a celebration with the persons who are already the nearest and dearest to them, and people who are strangers at the time of the wedding just aren't their nearest and dearest.  It can seem like they are there for the food, drinks, and one other person's company who isn't the bride or groom.

    But that said, I also agree that SOs, even if you don't like or know them, still need to be invited because it's not polite not to invite them.  The fact that they aren't your nearest or dearest on the wedding day doesn't mean that they won't or can't be at some future time.

    There is a difference between total strangers and just SO/GF/BF of your nearest and dearest you haven't met.   If they are your nearest and dearest then in theory they are important to you.  By default meeting their SO should be important. If the first time is at your wedding, so be it.   In this day and age of people moving all over the place, busy with work and family and sometimes takes a while to meet a GF/BF/SO
    In theory, that might be true, but "in theory" and "in reality" aren't the same thing.  I have a cousin who has a girlfriend I've never met.  While my cousin is among my nearest and dearest, his girlfriend is not-especially because I did try to become acquainted with her and she blew me off.  I would still invite her to my wedding, but she is most emphatically NOT my "nearest" or "dearest."
    Umm, I never said the SO would ever be someone's nearest and dearest.  

     I said meeting a SO of a nearest and dearest should be important.  If that happens at your wedding, so be it.  It shouldn't be an excuse to treat your nearest and dearest like shit by not inviting some they deem special enough to have a relationship. Even if that relationship  is fairly new or just hasn't progressed to the next level.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    lyndausvi said:
    We invited "just dating" couples.   Some of them are now "married" couples.  On the flip side I have 4 married couples (all family) who have divorced and I have zero contact with the non-married person.
    Yeah, I was "just dating" my DH for 12 years before we got married.  The friends and family members that got married during that time knew each other and were "just dating" their spouses for far shorter than we had been together.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited October 2015
    lyndausvi said:



    Jen4948 said:


    lyndausvi said:


    Jen4948 said:


    lyndausvi said:


    banana468 said:


    Maggie0829 said:

    I have never understood the "I don't want anyone to come to my wedding that I don't know" mentality.

    Me either!  

    add me to the list.

    My husband's #2 guy at work and his wife bringing their adult daughter as a driver (which we never met, but okay'd), then she brought a date (which we didn't know she was doing).  

     I'm like who is that good looking 6'8" bald guy over there?   Then I was told it was the daughter's date.    I'm like well I'm not sure why someone wants to go to their date's dad's boss's wedding 1.5 hours away in a tropical storm, but okay,cool.   He has a blast!  Dancing with all the old ladies on the dance floor.   To this day I do not know his name and have never seen him again, well unless I'm looking at some pictures.



    I can understand why people might not want to invite strangers to their wedding.  They want it to be a celebration with the persons who are already the nearest and dearest to them, and people who are strangers at the time of the wedding just aren't their nearest and dearest.  It can seem like they are there for the food, drinks, and one other person's company who isn't the bride or groom.

    But that said, I also agree that SOs, even if you don't like or know them, still need to be invited because it's not polite not to invite them.  The fact that they aren't your nearest or dearest on the wedding day doesn't mean that they won't or can't be at some future time.


    There is a difference between total strangers and just SO/GF/BF of your nearest and dearest you haven't met.   If they are your nearest and dearest then in theory they are important to you.  By default meeting their SO should be important. If the first time is at your wedding, so be it.   In this day and age of people moving all over the place, busy with work and family and sometimes takes a while to meet a GF/BF/SO


    In theory, that might be true, but "in theory" and "in reality" aren't the same thing.  I have a cousin who has a girlfriend I've never met.  While my cousin is among my nearest and dearest, his girlfriend is not-especially because I did try to become acquainted with her and she blew me off.  I would still invite her to my wedding, but she is most emphatically NOT my "nearest" or "dearest."



    Umm, I never said the SO would ever be someone's nearest and dearest.  

     I said meeting a SO of a nearest and dearest should be important.  If that happens at your wedding, so be it.  It shouldn't be an excuse to treat your nearest and dearest like shit by not inviting some they deem special enough to have a relationship. Even if that relationship  is fairly new or just hasn't progressed to the next level.


    Umm, exactly when did I advocate not inviting someone's SO because they are a stranger? Answer: I didn't. I merely said I could understand why sometimes people don't want to. I have never advocated "treating someone like shit" simply because they have an SO one is not acquainted with.
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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yeah, ditto everyone else, but especially two points that hit home:

    1.  If H had insisted on knowing every single person at our wedding, my very best friend could not have been invited because he'd moved to Colorado from NJ in 1992 and I don't see him nearly enough.  But to not be invited to my wedding?  Not acceptable.

    2.  You never know when the person your friend is "just dating" is the One.  I'd dated one guy for almost 4 years, and we ended up breaking up.  I took a 6 month or so break from dating, and then started again and was one of those "not serious" people you've read about on these boards... I was dating 3 guys at the same time when I met H.  I went out with my girlfriends on a whim that night, didn't intend to meet anyone because juggling 3 was already tough enough, and met H.  We had our first date a week later, with me still intending for it to be "just fun," and then within a few weeks we were exchanging "I love you"s and talking marriage.  We were engaged less than 4 months from the date we met, and were married one year to the day we met.  So, yeah, had he not been invited to a wedding in those 4 months before we were engaged, even when it would look like "just a new thing, not serious" to anyone else, I'd have declined the wedding.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    I feel like there is some reading comprehension problems going on.
    NEVER.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    I feel like there is some reading comprehension problems going on.
    I agree-yours.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    lyndausvi said:
    Jen4948 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    Jen4948 said:
    lyndausvi said:
    banana468 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    I have never understood the "I don't want anyone to come to my wedding that I don't know" mentality.
    Me either!  
    add me to the list.

    My husband's #2 guy at work and his wife bringing their adult daughter as a driver (which we never met, but okay'd), then she brought a date (which we didn't know she was doing).  

     I'm like who is that good looking 6'8" bald guy over there?   Then I was told it was the daughter's date.    I'm like well I'm not sure why someone wants to go to their date's dad's boss's wedding 1.5 hours away in a tropical storm, but okay,cool.   He has a blast!  Dancing with all the old ladies on the dance floor.   To this day I do not know his name and have never seen him again, well unless I'm looking at some pictures.

    I can understand why people might not want to invite strangers to their wedding.  They want it to be a celebration with the persons who are already the nearest and dearest to them, and people who are strangers at the time of the wedding just aren't their nearest and dearest.  It can seem like they are there for the food, drinks, and one other person's company who isn't the bride or groom.

    But that said, I also agree that SOs, even if you don't like or know them, still need to be invited because it's not polite not to invite them.  The fact that they aren't your nearest or dearest on the wedding day doesn't mean that they won't or can't be at some future time.

    There is a difference between total strangers and just SO/GF/BF of your nearest and dearest you haven't met.   If they are your nearest and dearest then in theory they are important to you.  By default meeting their SO should be important. If the first time is at your wedding, so be it.   In this day and age of people moving all over the place, busy with work and family and sometimes takes a while to meet a GF/BF/SO
    In theory, that might be true, but "in theory" and "in reality" aren't the same thing.  I have a cousin who has a girlfriend I've never met.  While my cousin is among my nearest and dearest, his girlfriend is not-especially because I did try to become acquainted with her and she blew me off.  I would still invite her to my wedding, but she is most emphatically NOT my "nearest" or "dearest."
    Umm, I never said the SO would ever be someone's nearest and dearest.  

     I said meeting a SO of a nearest and dearest should be important.  If that happens at your wedding, so be it.  It shouldn't be an excuse to treat your nearest and dearest like shit by not inviting some they deem special enough to have a relationship. Even if that relationship  is fairly new or just hasn't progressed to the next level.
    I never said it either-but they are not necessarily "important to one" either.  That doesn't mean they should be treated like shit and not invited, because that's not appropriate either.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    I feel like there is some reading comprehension problems going on.
    I agree-yours.
    image

    #byefelicia

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    I feel like there is some reading comprehension problems going on.
    I agree-yours.
    image

    #byefelicia

    image

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    I feel like there is some reading comprehension problems going on.
    I agree-yours.
    image

    #byefelicia

    Oh shit, I just got hash tagged!

    image

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  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2015

    image
    Here we go with the nitpicking and backpedaling!

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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Any guest who is in a relationship by the time invitations go out should be invited with their significant other, and the SO is invited by name.

    I was invited to a wedding with DH, when we were "just dating", and I had never met the bride or groom before. We are now great friends with them, and stayed over at their house when we went back to visit the area. 

    DH and I dated 12 years before we were married. I'd be miffed if someone referred to me as "just his gf". 

    You never know who you will become friends with, or who your friends will marry. 

    I understand wanting to share your wedding with your nearest and dearest, but if you are close enough to invite someone to your wedding, then you are close enough to invite and met their SO. 
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  • Knottie1428763015Knottie1428763015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    banana468 said:
    11.5 years ago DH got the invitation for his cousin's wedding and we were "just dating". Now look at us years later. We are married over 8 years and have 2 kids. We gave all singles a plus one. One cousin brought HIS SO and they were newly dating. They're going to celebrate their 6th anniversary and have 2 kids as well. Get the point?? Yes you need to invite these people and yes, you need to get over it.
    Whoa, I had no idea some of the people on this board got married so long ago.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    banana468 said:
    Knottie1428763015 said:
    banana468 said:
    11.5 years ago DH got the invitation for his cousin's wedding and we were "just dating". Now look at us years later. We are married over 8 years and have 2 kids. We gave all singles a plus one. One cousin brought HIS SO and they were newly dating. They're going to celebrate their 6th anniversary and have 2 kids as well. Get the point?? Yes you need to invite these people and yes, you need to get over it.
    Whoa, I had no idea some of the people on this board got married so long ago.
    I started dating DH before "FB official" was even a THING!   

    Back then the Prius was the only decent hybrid and Tom Cruise hadn't jumped the couch.
    HA me too!  Back when H and I started dating it would have been "MySpace official."  And when I planned my wedding Pinterest was only just starting to become semi-popular so no Pinterest wedding boards or Pinterest inspired decor for me.

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie1428763015 said:
    banana468 said:
    11.5 years ago DH got the invitation for his cousin's wedding and we were "just dating". Now look at us years later. We are married over 8 years and have 2 kids. We gave all singles a plus one. One cousin brought HIS SO and they were newly dating. They're going to celebrate their 6th anniversary and have 2 kids as well. Get the point?? Yes you need to invite these people and yes, you need to get over it.
    Whoa, I had no idea some of the people on this board got married so long ago.
    And. . . ?


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • Knottie1428763015Knottie1428763015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    banana468 said:
    Knottie1428763015 said:
    banana468 said:
    11.5 years ago DH got the invitation for his cousin's wedding and we were "just dating". Now look at us years later. We are married over 8 years and have 2 kids. We gave all singles a plus one. One cousin brought HIS SO and they were newly dating. They're going to celebrate their 6th anniversary and have 2 kids as well. Get the point?? Yes you need to invite these people and yes, you need to get over it.
    Whoa, I had no idea some of the people on this board got married so long ago.
    I started dating DH before "FB official" was even a THING!   

    Back then the Prius was the only decent hybrid and Tom Cruise hadn't jumped the couch.
    OK, that made me laugh lol.
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  • Knottie1428763015Knottie1428763015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    Knottie1428763015 said:
    banana468 said:
    11.5 years ago DH got the invitation for his cousin's wedding and we were "just dating". Now look at us years later. We are married over 8 years and have 2 kids. We gave all singles a plus one. One cousin brought HIS SO and they were newly dating. They're going to celebrate their 6th anniversary and have 2 kids as well. Get the point?? Yes you need to invite these people and yes, you need to get over it.
    Whoa, I had no idea some of the people on this board got married so long ago.
    And. . . ?

    And nothing. That was the complete comment.
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