Second Weddings

3rd Go 'Round

As I sit and type this, I'm slightly nervous. My FH has never been married, this is my 3rd. I know if I talk to my mother about this, she'll tell me to be practical and just go to the JOP. I don't want to do that, I want it to be memorable for him and for me as this is the last time I plan on doing this. He is everything I've asked for and both of us kinda want to go the way of a country/cowboy themed wedding as we're both from a small town.

I just really am looking for anyone else in a similar point, and that I'm not crazy for not knowing what to really do in this situation.

Re: 3rd Go 'Round

  • Welcome to the board!

    As long as you are paying and properly host your guests, you can have any type of wedding you please! It's true that you may get some grief from family and/or friends, but the best way to avoid that is to not talk to them about the wedding. I know it's hard to do, as you want to share your plans, but it's for the best in the long run.

     







    CMGragainadk19Knottie1448825336OurWildKingdom
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited November 2015
    I just attended a third wedding for one of my long time friends. It was her husband's first marriage. They did a traditional wedding - she wore a gorgeous white dress, and did many traditional things during the ceremony and reception. It was wonderful, and I am overjoyed for her.

    Do what makes you happy! I was recently married for the second time, and I was apprehensive at first planning anything traditional. I got over that pretty quickly though - why shouldn't this marriage be celebrated in exactly the way my H and I wanted?

  • Your first 2 marriages no longer exist, so whatever you did to celebrate them does not matter anymore. This is the start of this marriage between you and your FI. Regardless of either of you have done it before, it is completely separate from your past. If you want to save $ by going to the JOP, do that. If you want to throw a giant party and host the whole town (and can afford to do so properly without beginning your new marriage in debt) you should do that instead.

    Your family will have opinions no matter what. Unless they are paying, you do not have to take their advice.
    adk19
  • As I sit and type this, I'm slightly nervous. My FH has never been married, this is my 3rd. I know if I talk to my mother about this, she'll tell me to be practical and just go to the JOP. I don't want to do that, I want it to be memorable for him and for me as this is the last time I plan on doing this. He is everything I've asked for and both of us kinda want to go the way of a country/cowboy themed wedding as we're both from a small town.

    I just really am looking for anyone else in a similar point, and that I'm not crazy for not knowing what to really do in this situation.

    You should plan the wedding that you want, provided that you can pay for it. Best wishes!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    A person should not be limited to the number of all-out weddings he or she has. Enjoy!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    Plan the wedding that you and your FI want to have.  If your family disapproves of it, then limit your talking about it with them.  Just send the invites when the time comes.

    The only thing I will add is that if you plan on having any sort of shower, I would probably limit it to your FI's family and maybe a few close friends and your immediate family.  Or have a couples shower, so the focus isn't solely on you.  A shower for a 3rd wedding with a big guest list on your side could easily be side eyed as gift grabby, if not careful.

    OurWildKingdom
  • Thank you all for the advice!  And I've never had nor been to a bridal shower...  I have no idea what they're even about. lol
  • Welcome brandy. This ismy 3rd go round and my fiances second. My mom has scoffed a little at the planning but she is so overjoyed we are finally getting married (he was my hs sweetheart from 30 years ago and the only one my mom ever liked). My saving grace is that this will the only one that has been in a church (my family is religious) and we are recently became members so it brings a new dynamic. We are having a 125 person guest list, Im wearing a white wedding gown and we are having a full blown BBQ buffet for lunch. Bottom line do what is right for YOU. The only thing that is really frowned upon these days is a blusher veil. Other than that GO FOR IT!
  • If your family gives you grief have a quiet, personal face to face conversation (not an email, nor over the phone) to explain this is your partner's first 

    How would they feel if your first wedding had been merely JOP?
  • If your family gives you grief have a quiet, personal face to face conversation (not an email, nor over the phone) to explain this is your partner's first 

    How would they feel if your first wedding had been merely JOP?

    There is nothing wrong with a JOP wedding, if that is what you choose.

     







    InLoveInQueens
  • Soooo, just wanted to keep everyone up to date...  On the 13th, my s/o was in a pretty serious accident.  He's had a pretty severe concussion and has a lot of trouble remembering things and putting stuff together.  LTM is fine, STM he struggles with, but he has no problem remembering the important people in his life, me, my kids, his family, close friends, a few acquaintances and a lot of the big moments in his life.  Unfortunately he also struggles to be normal so badly that he has this fantasy life he's tried to live in most of his life and so sometimes he gets confused about which things actually happened.

    I would appreciate thoughts and prayers about this as we fight to help him become himself again and continue our lives together.
  • jenni5672jenni5672
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2015
    So sorry to hear about your s/o. Good thoughts and vibes your way. 

    My third and his third. We are going to Vegas. And now so are most of our friends and family~ 60+. We decided to do what makes us happy. We have to live with each other not everyone else. Especially now~ do what makes you two happy. Take care. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    BrandyNL00
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