Where to sit at reception- no head or sweetheart table.

clare705

I'm not sure where to sit at my reception.  My FI and I are not having a bridal party, a head table, or a sweetheart table. He would like to sit with his parents and I like that idea.  However, I do not want to sit with my parents (childhood abuse) and I know they will be offended if we sit with FMIL and FFIL and not them.  I am inviting my parents because if I don't my sisters who are 10 and 12 can't come. The tables seat 8 if that matters.

Maggie0829

Who cares if your parents get pissed?!  Sit with who you want to sit with.  As the bride and groom you will only be sitting long enough to shovel down some food and then you will be up and making the rounds.  So don't stress yourself too much over this.

Jen4948

If your parents get pissed because you don't want to sit with them at your wedding after being abused, that sounds to me like their problem. I think that you will probably never be able to please them no matter how hard you try, so I wouldn't go out of my way for them.

peachy13

honestly? it probably won't matter too much. I sat down at my table (sweetheart) for a total of 10 minutes during my reception, which was during the toasts. During dinner I was walking around with DH greeting guests.

artbyallie

Put whomever you want to sit with at your table as long as you are not splitting couples.

princessleia22

Sit wherever you want to sit.

Does he have siblings that would be sitting with his parents?  If so, that could be an excuse for your parents being at a different table, if they question it or get upset and you want to try to diffuse the situation.  For example: bride, groom, his mom, his dad, his sibling, your mom, your dad, your 10 yo sibling, your 12 yo sibling = more than 8 people.  So, if he has siblings, you have a valid excuse as to why you can't sit all of both immediate families at one table. Then just say it's how the seating arrangement worked out best.

If no other siblings, just sit where you want to sit and let things play out however they play out.  And like others said, you won't be sitting at the table much anyway.

STARMOON44

I wouldn't sit with his parents and not yours. You know it's going to cause drama. What about your friends?

spockforprez

I really want to sit with our parents at our wedding, so I can see your FH's side, but I agree that you need to do what you need to be happy on the day of!

Could you do FH's parents, you guys, your sisters, and your parents, with your parents as far away from you? So, for example, FH's dad, FH's mom, FH, you, your sister1, your sister2, your mom, your dad. You've got a nice buffer zone there and it would be hard for them to speak to you or hear what you say.

[Deleted User]

clare705 said:

I'm not sure where to sit at my reception.  My FI and I are not having a bridal party, a head table, or a sweetheart table. He would like to sit with his parents and I like that idea.  However, I do not want to sit with my parents (childhood abuse) and I know they will be offended if we sit with FMIL and FFIL and not them.  I am inviting my parents because if I don't my sisters who are 10 and 12 can't come. The tables seat 8 if that matters.

I would let your parents host their own table, let his parents host their own table, and you and your husband host your own table.  Sit with your friends.

MandyMost

We had no head table, no sweetheart table, and also no official bridal party. Our tables fit 8, but we were able to get a single larger table that fit 10 comfortably. That way we each chose 2 couples to sit with us (so, us plus 4 couples = 10 people). I wanted to make sure we were both sitting with "our people" and also that they'd all have others they knew at the table so when we were up walking around there wouldn't be one couple sitting there with 2 other couples they didn't know.

Anyway, it worked out great for us. I picked 2 college friends and their SO's, and he picked 2 high school friends and their SO's. Our parents each "hosted" their own table, meaning we let them pick who they were sitting with. 


Since we had a formal sit-down rehearsal dinner the night before, we sat with our parents then. Honestly, this all worked out great for us. 

climbingsingle

Sit with your friends. Or sit with his parents, and if your parents get angry, just don't give a shit. 

SP29

Sit wherever you like! Who cares if your parents get pissed at this point?

My friend and her husband also did not have a WP, no head or sweetheart table.

They each had a few guests who were travelling from OOT that did not know anyone else besides their SO/guest attending with them. So my friend and her groom sat at a table with these individuals. 

lembaslover

Preventing drama was partly why we had a sweetheart table. The other reason was that we wouldn't be sitting at our table for very long during the night. We were only sitting there during toasts and to eat our meals quickly. Then we were up visiting guests at their tables. Honestly it was really nice to just have breaks of 5-10 minutes (3 course dinner) to share with my new husband.

If you really don't want a sweetheart table though your choices are what PP have stated. Piss of your parents and don't worry about it, sit with both parents at the same table, or sit with friends.