New York-Long Island

rehearsal dinner - opinions please!!!

So I have been having an argument with my mother about my rehearsal dinner. I was hoping you ladies, whose opinions I have come to value, could weigh in with your honest opinions and help me!!! When my fiance and I first got engaged (and even before that) we never had in mind the whole big wedding thing. Honestly, we would have gone down to city hall and done it alone with a court appointed witness! But...since both of our parents kinda wanted us to go ahead and have a party, and since both sets offered to pay, and because we thought one day we might regret not celebrating more, we decided to have the big wedding - which has now turned into a guest list of 275. Here is how this relates to the rehearsal dinner - I want to have a very small, very intimate rehearsal dinner. We are not having a bridal party, so the only people intimately involved in our ceremony besides us are our parents, siblings, and the judge who is marrying us, a friend of my dad's. My idea was to do the rehearsal the day before the wedding, then go to dinner with just those involved in the ceremony as our "rehearsal dinner", then we would meet our out of town guests at the hotel where they are all staying for drinks and dessert (we would provide them with dinner before that, but we wouldn't be there eating). I think this is an acceptable compromise, since it is important to me to have something intimate and I have let my parents invite whoever they want to the wedding, but we are still feeding our out of towners. My mom disagrees. What do you all think??? I should also mention, my fiance's parents would be hosting...

Re: rehearsal dinner - opinions please!!!

  • edited December 2011
    Well, if FIL's are hosting, it's really up to them who goes. I feel like these OOT guests have traveled from far and wide to come see you and your FH! I know I want to spend time with them before & after the wedding. Maybe do the rehearsal earlier and have an intimate lunch and then go to dinner later with the OOT guests. First & foremost though, I'd speak to the FILs and get their input.
  • jordanamnjordanamn member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I happen to know that my future in laws think the idea is fine, and they would like an intimate dinner also. i actually don't think we will even have many out of town guests there on friday night since our wedding is on saturday night and we really don't have anyone coming from very far. i guess maybe i am being a little antisocial, but i am not the type of person who really wants to entertain the night before my wedding, i would rather spend it with those closest to me and then hit the sack early. 
  • edited December 2011
    Believe me, I'm with you on that one jordan! As if there's not going to be plenty of last minute stuff to do the night before. If you're FILs are fine with it, then that's fine, especially if there won't be many OOT guests. And if you're mom tries to push it further, blame the FILs- tell her that it's ultimately their decision and this is what they've come up with.
  • jordanamnjordanamn member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks jilli!  I will keep both sides in mind...I know I am supposed to put on the show, I'm just not that type of woman i guess!  I am starting to get stressed about this whole business, I only have like 6 1/2 months to go.
  • scoobyd266scoobyd266 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think your idea sounds great since you still get to have your intimate dinner but your other guests are still taken care of. If your FIL's are fine with it and they are paying, I would go with it, your mom will come around eventually. 
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  • jordanamnjordanamn member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks for the help!
  • edited December 2011
    Anytime! We're always here for advice or just to even vent to! =)
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