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Scrapping the Reception

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
in Budget Weddings Forum
My fiancé and I are on an extremely tight budget and have scrapped the reception. We feel that a fun cocktail attire dinner the night before fits us better, but we are not going to be able to foot the bill for everyone's plate even if only half of the invited guests actually attend.

Is this rude? We're planning on sending out invites for dinner and narrowing down the menu at a restaurant of our choosing to accommodate that restaurant's staff.

I'm worried that guests may be offended by us chopping down their selection when we're not paying for their meal in the first place. Help?
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Re: Scrapping the Reception

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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I answered you on the reception board.

     In the future please put XP in front of your title if you post the same question on multiple boards.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    simcal18simcal18 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    taylmayfield said:

    My fiancé and I are on an extremely tight budget and have scrapped the reception. We feel that a fun cocktail attire dinner the night before fits us better, but we are not going to be able to foot the bill for everyone's plate even if only half of the invited guests actually attend.

    Is this rude? We're planning on sending out invites for dinner and narrowing down the menu at a restaurant of our choosing to accommodate that restaurant's staff.

    I'm worried that guests may be offended by us chopping down their selection when we're not paying for their meal in the first place. Help?

    Oh, boy. Here we go:

    (1) You cannot "scrap your reception." Your reception is where you receive your wedding guests and thank them for attending your ceremony. It should take place immediately after your ceremony and be appropriate to the time of day.

    (2) All your guests must be hosted equally.

    (3) Your guests should not pay for anything during your wedding reception. See above: it is your thank you to them for attending your wedding. They shouldn't pay for their own thank you.

    OP, scrap your plans. Host whatever reception you can afford AFTER your wedding. It can be cake and punch, brunch, dinner sans alcohol, whatever you can afford--but you must offer it to all your guests and you must not make them pay for their own meal. That is very, very rude.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knotties, go to the Etiquette Board to get in on this one!
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