Maid vs Matron of Honor

Knottie1446430366

I plan on asking my future sister-in-law to be my maid of honor. The only problem is she is already married so she is technically a matron of honor. I don't plan on having both a maid and matron of honor so I would rather just refer to her as maid of honor. I can't ask her yet if she minds going by maid of honor because I wanted to ask her in a special way without giving it away. I just don't know if married women would take offense to being called a maid. I personally don't like matron because it sounds old and dated. What do other married women feel on this subject?

edenisle

Personally, as a recently married woman, I wouldn't care either way.  I would just be flattered that you would ask me.

However, I'm not generally a stickler for the kind of stuff (my brother was my MOH- Man of Honor).  Maybe someone else can weigh in?

CMGragain

Titles in a wedding are based on tradition, not modern word usage.  The traditional title of a married woman serving in this position is "Matron of Honor".  If the woman is not married, she is "Maid of Honor".  There is no traditional title for a Ms. or Mr. of Honor.
A lot of feminists take issue with this, but it is tradition, nothing else.  100 years ago, only unmarried ladies could be bridal attendants!

Maggie0829

Why can't you just call her Matron of Honor, especially if that is what she prefers?  

And just because you have a Matron of Honor does not mean that you need to have a Maid of Honor.  They are the same exact thing except that it just notes if the person is married.

But in the end, she isn't going to  be wearing a sign on her head all night that states that she is the MOH.  And the only place where the title would even be noted in writing is on the programs.  If you don't have programs then the specific title is really not even necessary.

In the end, just ask her what she prefers.  This is really not as big of an issue as I feel like you are making it.

climbingsingle

I wouldn't mind being called "matron". Is this something that someone would really give a crap about? "How dare you call me matron of honor! I want to be a maid!" Yeah, no. Just go with matron. 

lembaslover

Honestly I wouldn't care either way but I find it strange that you are so opposed to the title of someone else... If you're so against it just ask her to be maid of honor in your surprise special way and after that you can ask her preference or just let her tell you if she'd rather be matron. If she does prefer matron then get over your adversity to the word and call her matron. In the grand scheme of things this doesn't even matter.

holyguacamole79

Knottie1446430366 said:

I plan on asking my future sister-in-law to be my maid of honor. The only problem is she is already married so she is technically a matron of honor. I don't plan on having both a maid and matron of honor so I would rather just refer to her as maid of honor. I can't ask her yet if she minds going by maid of honor because I wanted to ask her in a special way without giving it away. I just don't know if married women would take offense to being called a maid. I personally don't like matron because it sounds old and dated. What do other married women feel on this subject?

Honestly, I don't care what you "call" me.

aurianna

As I'm married, if I were asked to be MoH I'd prefer to be "Matron of Honor." But I wouldn't lose sleep over being called Maid of Honor.

You can just do Maid of Honor in whatever special way you are going to ask her and then later ask her which she prefers in the programs / for the DJ to announce / etc.

charlotte989875

Yah, I didn't care either way when I was asked to stand up with my close friends. We used Matron of Honor simply because I'm married, but I didn't particularly care either way.

AddieCake

I think you're overthinking this.

drunkenwitch

I wish posters would stop posting the title "something vs something else" because I get super excited and think it will be about a Thunderdome type reception cage match. I'm always disappointed.