Just Engaged and Proposals

Anyone have non-traditional engagement rings?

Mine is a platinum band with alternating diamonds and emerald set in it, but not with a main, raised stone. It was FI's family heirloom and I love it. Sometimes I wonder if people know it's an engagement ring before I tell them, though. Do most people assume you're engaged if there's any ring on that finger? Anyone else have non-traditional engagement rings?

Re: Anyone have non-traditional engagement rings?

  • There are many brides who do not have engagement rings at all.  They are optional.  There are also brides who wear just one ring, and use it for both their engagement ring and their wedding ceremony.  There are no rules about this.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    I would not assume a non-diamond (or diamond-looking) ring was an engagement ring just b/c it was on your "engagement ring finger." 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia
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    I chose not to have an engagement ring, but I just tell people we're engaged if it comes up. I find their eye immediately flicks to that finger and when they see it's empty they don't make a comment. I'm just as engaged as the next person, so...

    I'm surprised if they don't do the same to you (I literally don't think I've ever told anyone in the last year that we are engaged without them doing this) and at that point I would just show them the ring and say what a beautiful heirloom it is, etc. Don't bring up any defensive comments like, "Well I didn't want a diamond," or "I know it's not a normal one." There is no reason for you to feel insecure or need to defend your ring choice.

    I do think your post sort of touches on feelings of "engagement ring as status symbol" which I find really problematic in our culture and one of the reasons I am not a fan of them!
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    My engagement ring was an opal surrounded by diamonds. I did have a few rude people ask if it was my "real" ring. 

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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
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    I have a diamond pave band and like CMGraigan mentioned, this will be my only ring.  I've gotten the look down at the hand too because people don't automatically assume it's my ering but I don't care.  It's exactly what I wanted.
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  • My ring is platinum with a small diamond, and was my great-grandmother's (she left it to me). I had always wanted to reuse it since I was a little girl since I found it meaningful and special. I had my dad keep it, and he gave it to my fiance, who then gave it to me. My fiance and I haven't resized it yet (although we plan to), so for now I wear it around a chain. It may not be incredibly traditional, but it's a symbol to both my fiance and me, and that's all that really matters to us. 
                        


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  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY
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    I have a morganite engagement ring, and a moissanite wedding band. I usually get "That's gorgeous? What is it?" 



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  • I have a diamond because FI wanted to make the investment. I would have been just as happy with a gemstone or other non traditional ring. If he couldn't have afforded the style ring I wanted in diamond I would have looked at the same style but using less expensive stones.

    I was really taken a back when he introduced me as his fiancé to someone and they said "did he give you a big rock?" I wouldn't have cared if it was a plain silver band. It's the meaning we ascribe to these things that matter.
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  • My engagement ring is a 3 stone ring, with a sapphire in the centre, a diamond on each side.

    I have had the odd person ask, "Is that an engagement ring?" but for the most part people ask, "Did you pick that because it's your or your husband's birthstone?" To which I answer, "No, I just like sapphires and blue is my favourite colour". 

    I generally assume a ring on that finger is an engagement ring, but I know that's not always the case. At the same time though, I'm either close enough to the person to know they are engaged, or not close enough in which case I would never ask, "OH! Is that an engagement ring!?!?". I may comment, "that's a beautiful ring" but I would say that regardless of what finger the ring is on, because I like jewelry. 

    My friend did not have an engagement ring, didn't make her any less engaged. 
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  • I also don't have ring. We decided to get married (aka became engaged officially) a month before closing on a house so it would have been a bad idea to make any large purchase befor closing on a loan. Now it just doesn't seem necessary.
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  • I also don't have ring. We decided to get married (aka became engaged officially) a month before closing on a house so it would have been a bad idea to make any large purchase befor closing on a loan. Now it just doesn't seem necessary.

    I love this. My engagement ring is an heirloom from my grandmother and I love it but I've had a few comments of the 'BF saved some money' variety. Honestly, if I hadn't have been offered this beautiful ring by my family I genuinely don't know that I would have felt the need at all. To me it is just a symbol. I don't know why some people are so focused on it being a 'rock' or talking garbage about how much it cost. A colleague told me she wouldn't feel special enough if her partner didn't spend at least 3 months salary on a ring...waaat? I mean everyone's financial situation is different but why is the price tag the important part? Ha, rant over!
                 
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  • SP29SP29
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    edited January 2016
    I also don't have ring. We decided to get married (aka became engaged officially) a month before closing on a house so it would have been a bad idea to make any large purchase befor closing on a loan. Now it just doesn't seem necessary.
    I love this. My engagement ring is an heirloom from my grandmother and I love it but I've had a few comments of the 'BF saved some money' variety. Honestly, if I hadn't have been offered this beautiful ring by my family I genuinely don't know that I would have felt the need at all. To me it is just a symbol. I don't know why some people are so focused on it being a 'rock' or talking garbage about how much it cost. A colleague told me she wouldn't feel special enough if her partner didn't spend at least 3 months salary on a ring...waaat? I mean everyone's financial situation is different but why is the price tag the important part? Ha, rant over!
    Ok, I admit I like nice things. I admit I wanted (that is wanted- not needed) a "pretty" ring- I like jewelry. And I received a beautiful ring- but it didn't cost 3 months of DH's salary.

    My ring is special because of what it means, not because of what DH spent on it. And just because I like jewelry doesn't mean the next person does, so I would never judge the status of someone else's engagement on their ring, "Ohhhh, smaller ring, he must love you less"- no, that's stupid. Look at all the celebrities who received giant rocks and are now divorced, or the marriage never happened. 

    I agree- why is the price tag important? I would never look at an heirloom ring as "money saved"- because it's not about the money. A beautiful ring is a beautiful ring ;)
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  • edited January 2016
    SP29 said:



    I also don't have ring. We decided to get married (aka became engaged officially) a month before closing on a house so it would have been a bad idea to make any large purchase befor closing on a loan. Now it just doesn't seem necessary.
    I love this. My engagement ring is an heirloom from my grandmother and I love it but I've had a few comments of the 'BF saved some money' variety. Honestly, if I hadn't have been offered this beautiful ring by my family I genuinely don't know that I would have felt the need at all. To me it is just a symbol. I don't know why some people are so focused on it being a 'rock' or talking garbage about how much it cost. A colleague told me she wouldn't feel special enough if her partner didn't spend at least 3 months salary on a ring...waaat? I mean everyone's financial situation is different but why is the price tag the important part? Ha, rant over!

    Ok, I admit I like nice things. I admit I wanted (that is wanted- not needed) a "pretty" ring- I like jewelry. And I received a beautiful ring- but it didn't cost 3 months of DH's salary.

    My ring is special because of what it means, not because of what DH spent on it. And just because I like jewelry doesn't mean the next person does, so I would never judge the status of someone else's engagement on their ring, "Ohhhh, smaller ring, he must love you less"- no, that's stupid. Look at all the celebrities who received giant rocks and are now divorced, or the marriage never happened. 

    I agree- why is the price tag important? I would never look at an heirloom ring as "money saved"- because it's not about the money. A beautiful ring is a beautiful ring ;)

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    Right?! I have absolutely no problem with couples who choose to spend $$$ on a ring, or not. If you want big, small, bling, plain, or none at all - you do you. Maybe I should make FI take 3 months paycheck and put it behind the bar instead, ha
                 
    SP29nerdwife
  • I have an all white-and-yellow gold ring in the shape of a lotus flower. My fiance doesn't believe in the gemstone industry (very long story, some personal experiences involved). I chose the ring myself since we talked a lot about this topic before purchasing it.
    To be honest, I was disappointed at first about the lack of stone... I didn't want a diamond necessarily, but I'd been eyeing some sapphires or rubies. but the ring is very pretty, and I haven't had any negative comments. And I know that cost wasn't a factor in his decision at all, so I really don't care if some people think he wanted to save money. :P 
    SP29Knottie8e4c97ca372830c0
  • I have an all white-and-yellow gold ring in the shape of a lotus flower. My fiance doesn't believe in the gemstone industry (very long story, some personal experiences involved). I chose the ring myself since we talked a lot about this topic before purchasing it.
    To be honest, I was disappointed at first about the lack of stone... I didn't want a diamond necessarily, but I'd been eyeing some sapphires or rubies. but the ring is very pretty, and I haven't had any negative comments. And I know that cost wasn't a factor in his decision at all, so I really don't care if some people think he wanted to save money. :P 
    Oooo, I'd love to see a picture!

    The stone doesn't matter- it's not what makes a ring, nor an engagement ring. Sure, *I* like stones (allll of them! ;) ), but as I said, a beautiful ring is a beautiful ring! 

  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 Dirty Jerz
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    I love non-traditional engagement rings.  I do have a diamond, but I had wanted either an emerald or a sapphire.  DH wanted to purchase the diamond, so I took a look at a few since I had never really looked at them and found a few I liked so that's what I ended up with.
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  • edited June 2016
    I have a beautiful handmade replica of a 1935 art deco ring as an unused engagement ring.  My ex and I ended up breaking up prior to the engagement so I am selling it.  It's so lovely. It has Forever Brilliant Moissanite stones.
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/142002396136  






  • I have a beautiful handmade replica of a 1935 art deco ring as an unused engagement ring.  My ex and I ended up breaking up prior to the engagement so I am selling it.  It's so lovely. It has Forever Brilliant Moissanite stones.
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/142002396136  






    @GoldenPenguin - Is this allowed?

    Also, this is a zombie thread.
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  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY
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    @madamerwin - Doesn't look like a vendor, but I don't think she'll have much luck. Should probably take it to the classifieds. @KnotRiley




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  • KnotRileyKnotRiley New York, NY
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    Unfortunately we can't move comments, but @Knottie1465159511 if you're interested in selling your ring on the boards, please use our Classifieds Board that can be found here: http://forums.theknot.com/categories/wedding-boards_wedding-classifieds

    This thread was just about at the 6 month mark so I'm going to go ahead and close it.

    Thanks @GoldenPenguin
    GoldenPenguin
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