Ceremony and Vow Ideas

13-year-old niece's role in wedding???

Hi there. 
My older niece has commented over the years about wanting to be in my wedding - I'm her only aunt. She recently said (to my mom) that she wishes I'd gotten married years ago, so she could've been a flower girl. She has no idea that there are lots of roles people play in weddings! 

I'll see her this week, does anyone have any creative ideas? She'll be 13 years old then. Junior Bridesmaid is the only thing I've heard of, but we might not even have a true formal wedding party to begin with. Maybe 1 MOH & Best Man, but it's a small wedding so everyone is playing a part in the weekend helping out

Other niece will be 7 at the time, and has already told me she's the flower girl. Fine by me. I'm all for letting the kids choose if they want to be included - my nephew is super-shy and may not do anything at all 

Thanks! And Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Re: 13-year-old niece's role in wedding???

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member

    Just make her a bridesmaid with no "junior" in front of it, or a reader.  Don't try to be "creative" about her role if it simply involves going up and down the aisle like any other bridesmaid or doing a reading like any other reader. 

    The only things a 13-year-old can't do that an adult can are legally drink alcohol, go into "adult" establishments, or sign your wedding license as a witness.

    YogaSandy
  • Hi there. 
    My older niece has commented over the years about wanting to be in my wedding - I'm her only aunt. She recently said (to my mom) that she wishes I'd gotten married years ago, so she could've been a flower girl. She has no idea that there are lots of roles people play in weddings! 

    I'll see her this week, does anyone have any creative ideas? She'll be 13 years old then. Junior Bridesmaid is the only thing I've heard of, but we might not even have a true formal wedding party to begin with. Maybe 1 MOH & Best Man, but it's a small wedding so everyone is playing a part in the weekend helping out

    Other niece will be 7 at the time, and has already told me she's the flower girl. Fine by me. I'm all for letting the kids choose if they want to be included - my nephew is super-shy and may not do anything at all 

    Thanks! And Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
    Make her a Bridesmaid (no junior).  She'll feel SO grown up.  Give her a color for the dress, and trust her parents to get her an age-appropriate dress she can wear while standing next to you and the other bridesmaids at your wedding.  Done.
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    member
    Like others said, just make her a bridesmaid.  I had my 2 adult sisters as MOH's and my 6-year old niece as bridesmaid.  At first she was upset that she wasn't the flower girl (a role she's had 4-5 times), but she was happy once she realized that she got to be one of "the adults". She felt so grown up going with us to get our nails done and she loved that she got her own bouquet to keep.  My husband had his adult best friend as best man, then his 13-year old nephew as groomsman. That was our wedding party: 3 adults and 2 kids. And it was awesome.

    I told my BM's that their dresses didn't need to match.  I gave them a color and told them to pick anything.  The adults chose to get matching dresses anyway.  For the 6-year old, we actually found a dress that was same color and similar cut/style on clearance at Target for $14.  Material was different (lace vs. satin), but you couldn't really tell.

    image 

  • What about having her do a special reading at the ceremony? You can still give her a small corsage as she will be doing something special during your ceremony. And if it's ok with her mom, you can invite her to come and have her hair done that day to and even go for mani's together. This way you can keep your bridal party as originally planned but she can still do something special and unique to just her. This will also make it easier should your MOH want to do an adult activity for you as a bachelorette party because then you wouldn't be excluding other BM's.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    Reader or flower girl, no junior. And someone should tell the 7-year-old that she doesn't get to dictate who the flower girl is, that she should wait to be asked. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    YogaSandy
  • You should make her a bridesmaid. Don't ask her to do a reading. In my opinion, readings should be done by adults. I attended a wedding last year where a 12-year-old did a reading well beyond her age and maturity and it just wasn't good. Also, given what you've told us, I'd bet she'd be honored to be a bridesmaid.
  • My sister was 13 when she was a BM in my wedding. No junior. She did everything the rest of the girls did. She felt grown up. It was good. All BM chose their own dresses anyway, so her and my mom just found a black dress for her.
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