Quick Vent/Rant !!

HAGGSTOBE314

These comments are HILARIOUS ! @JoanE2012 if you read all the following comments (which by looking at yours you did not ) Wedding Bee is not the place for me , and if you meant "special" snowflake , i think thats cute thanks  , comments like yours do not bother me , it doesnt intimidate me , it doesnt rub me the wrong way, i was commenting on what i saw with my eyes ! 

MairePoppy

@HAGGSTOBE314, when you want to join a new community, it's generally a good idea to read the rules and lurk a bit to see how everyone communicates. Then if you still want to participate, jump in. If you make an error or post that you intend to violate etiquette, we'll let you know. Most of us have been called out by other posters, but we got over it. I hope you will too. 

I'm not sure  who you're referencing, but if her post was deleted by a mod, it was because she violated the TOS. As long as she wasn't banned, she is welcome to participate. 

I appreciate the fact that you actually chose a screen name, rather than posting under your assigned Knottie#s non SN. It shows that you would like us to get to know you. Please don't post your email address for all to see, though. You never know who's lurking.

JoanE2012

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

These comments are HILARIOUS ! @JoanE2012 if you read all the following comments (which by looking at yours you did not ) Wedding Bee is not the place for me , and if you meant "special" snowflake , i think thats cute thanks  , comments like yours do not bother me , it doesnt intimidate me , it doesnt rub me the wrong way, i was commenting on what i saw with my eyes ! 

You created a post to rant about how people are treated.  If it bothers you that much that you would create a post, Wedding Bee is definitely for you!  Otherwise, you're just trying to stir up shit. 

PS - Which mod "deleted" your post that you keep referring to?

HAGGSTOBE314

@kimmiinthemitten : see i haven't even saw the back story , but i was looking at some of the comments like are you serious, Hmmm i don't know i guess the way i see things is considered needing "kid gloves" because i just think differently , like no matter how much i disagree with something i could never talk to someone in a rude manner like that but Hey to each his own and everyone isn't the same.

kimmiinthemitten

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

@kimmiinthemitten : see i haven't even saw the back story , but i was looking at some of the comments like are you serious, Hmmm i don't know i guess the way i see things is considered needing "kid gloves" because i just think differently , like no matter how much i disagree with something i could never talk to someone in a rude manner like that but Hey to each his own and everyone isn't the same.

Essentially she pulled a bait and switch on the members.  She posted and said I'm engaged and have to do a project for my marketing class so I decided to do a wedding.  Can you help with my project and tell me about your venue search?  Then, after being shot down, reposted and said "How'd you pick your venue, I'm newly engaged and need help."  Needless to say, people didn't trust her and weren't keen on helping someone who they felt lied to them.  I feel like IRL that would have went down the same way.

Posters here have two choices; be told by strangers that you're doing something rude or do something rude and be side eyed by your friends and family.  I'll take the blunt truth from strangers any day.

kimmiinthemitten

Now, are you going to share the information about your deleted post or keep ignoring our requests?

HAGGSTOBE314

@MairePoppy

yeah i love these boards they are really helpful so i don't take anything in these things personal because @JoanE2012 can call me a "spechul" snowflake all day but she is just one more human being on earth but not the one passing the judgement so hey have at it!! ive gotten great advice on here and found a few vendors as well soooooo yeah !!! ill continue to post and ask random questions lol  its all gravy to me !!

ericasm0703

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

Well ill say a lot of people do not have the same views which i am perfectly fine with. I personally have not been "bullied"  on these boards ill say confused or p'd off but i just witnessed someone who felt so disrespected and told off to the point she felt like deleting her account was the best thing to do , now me personally constructive criticism, goes a long way. but there is a saying "sometimes its not what you say but how you say it"

now @kimmiinthemitten i 100% agree with the statement you made, before i posted i didn't even notice the guidelines posted so when 25 people posted at one time that i was "trolling" the internet trying to create problems by writing in caps or i was a "stupid B****" i was taken aback and extra confused, but 1 person took the time to point me in the direction of the guidelines and i saw okay writing in all caps isn't allowed here cool , and i apologized to anyone who felt as though that's what i was doing but again that 1 person was the only one who had enough knowledge to say hmmm maybe she doesn't know that's not allowed here let me tell her.

@lyndausvi you are correct telling someone the rules or pointing them in that direction isn't bullying but again ill state where that may be your views and someone else's  who posted , not everyone on here is like that. and not everyone on here gives constructive criticism.

@WinstonsGirl trying  to help someone go the right direction is absolutely not bullying but for the 3rd time i will state where you and any other person on this board can justify your own actions you can not speak for any one else. I don't allow anyone to get under my skin A) because i dont know you its not that deep , everyone has an opinion why attack someone for theirs 

i will just say one last time , i can only justify my own actions and you can only defend yours BUT everyone does not act or speak the same so you can not say "No one here bullies" because you are not everyone here and no 2 people think the same. 

This bolded statement and your other statement about comments not bothering you are contradictory. Obviously you did allow someone (all of us?) to get under your skin since you made an entire post about it. You still haven't answered about this supposed all-caps post. So, again, where is it? Also, if you haven't seen the backstory, then why are you all up in arms about us (collectively) telling her that she's violating TOS? Stop stirring the pot.

ETF: I still can't spell

lyndausvi

kimmiinthemitten said:

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

@AddieCake

i was following a post about venue findings and a young woman asked about locations and costs , previously in the post she stated she was in school still but engaged as well (something along those line) but some how she wasn't aware that taking a survey wasn't allowed on here so people started verbally attacking her, but she also explained that she needed the information for herself because she was planning her own wedding , now i saw the guidelines where they said it wasn't allowed but i took that question as she didn't but before anyone could even say anything about it all the comments started and they started DEEP ! and she was really sad about it i had a side conversation with her and explained my views but she couldn't understand why someone just simply didn't say you cant do surveys. not everyone has experience with this type of stuff so when someone says "well everyone knows" No! everyone does not know. if everyone knew everything there would be no reason to have teachers or supervisors.

SITB------------

Backstory since you weren't here for that when it happened.  The OP posted first as a student about her survey; was told you can't post surveys here.  She then reposted as a bride asking the same questions she posted as a student.  That drew a lot of red flags and made people question her motives and validity; based on her actions that was fair.

Again, where is this alleged all caps post; what board, what topic?  No one can find it.

To the bold:     I will admit I have little patiences for first time user's post are completely against the TOS.  

As a mod I can tell you  at least once a day (most days even more) there is someone who comes on here and posts surveys, go fund me links, vendors come on to advertise their services, contests and other things against the TOS.   EVERY SINGLE DAY.      (eta - I mean TK as a whole, not just the CC board)

IMO, If you can't be bothered to read the TOS then right out the gate post something against the TOS, well you deserved to be called out.  It doesn't make us mean. We have policies for a reason and when a new users come in and disrespect our polices, well we get a little upset.  

Some of us have been on here a long time.  As a group we have actively participated in creating some of those TOS.  Not all, but some of the TOS are a result of users comments.  While we have mods, the boards are often peer-monitored to make sure those policies are upheld.      

A little advice:  EVERY message board has their own vibe.  EVERYONE has long time core members.  They know the vibe and they know the rules.    

Before jumping on a message board READ the TOS. Lurk for a while, not a day, like a week or more.  Get a feel of what is appropriate and what is not.  

For example,  I'm on another message board where just one comment of topic is called out.   This board is not like that.  We have been know to start a post on  how it's raining outside and 6 pages later we are talking about sexual positions.  Others board would never do that.  Everything has to stay on topic for that board.          

 Had I not lurked on that board first I would have had my ass handed too me.   Different boards, different vibes.

WinstonsGirl

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

@AddieCake

i was following a post about venue findings and a young woman asked about locations and costs , previously in the post she stated she was in school still but engaged as well (something along those line) but some how she wasn't aware that taking a survey wasn't allowed on here so people started verbally attacking her, but she also explained that she needed the information for herself because she was planning her own wedding , now i saw the guidelines where they said it wasn't allowed but i took that question as she didn't but before anyone could even say anything about it all the comments started and they started DEEP ! and she was really sad about it i had a side conversation with her and explained my views but she couldn't understand why someone just simply didn't say you cant do surveys. not everyone has experience with this type of stuff so when someone says "well everyone knows" No! everyone does not know. if everyone knew everything there would be no reason to have teachers or supervisors.

But everyone here is given a copy of the TOS and has to click a button saying "Yes, I've read and understand the TOS" before they're allowed to finish signing up, so she should have known better.  Ignorance or choosing not to read is not our problem.  

kimmiinthemitten

Here's why I'm pretty sure there never was an all caps post that was deleted.  An excerpt, from the Mods and Responsibilities post:

Closing and Deleting Threads
Threads will not be deleted
Only exceptions:
-Spam
-When a member deletes their account--all threads/comments are deleted with it

Threads will not be closed without going through the process laid out below.  The only exception to this are zombie threads more than a year old.

As an FYI: Threads that are moved are not closed (redirect links are left in order to prevent too much confusion)

randomslove

Being told something meanly or in a way you dislike does not equal bullying. Not everyone in the world has to be nice to you. While it would be swell if everyone is nice, that's not the way the world works. However, that's not the same as bullying. Also, your definition of "nice" may differ from others. What one person views as blunt and honest, someone else may think is cutthroat.

As an adult on the internet, you should understand that you will come across a spectrum of this on the internet, and take responsibility for your own actions. If, but five minutes of research, you could avoid a faux pas, but don't... you cannot necessarily fault someone for calling you lazy or stupid. After all, you have proven competent enough to use a computer, but have decided against seeking answers via observation and easy search mechanisms.

As an adult, you should also understand that this is very different from bullying. Bullying is not anonymously posting online and then being gently-to-meanly rebuked by strangers. You have 100 percent power to turn off your computer and never again come here when you peruse the net. You can also watch and wait and learn, and then start posting now and then when you've learned better. You have these options.

I hope you come to learn these lessons, because I really think you can use them. If you found this mean, I don't know what to tell you. I was trying to inform you of my viewpoint. I also think it's sad I have to clarify that for you.

HAGGSTOBE314

You know what , i could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on clarifying that i said "verbally attacking " and called whom ever a "internet bully" never said "i got bullied or she got bullied" but once again i stated my opinion and that's exactly what i meant and what i stand behind, you do not have to agree with any word i typed , just as well as you have your own opinion, in MY opinion SOME people on here verbally attack people point blank ! Thats my OPINION ! If the shoe does not fit you, why take what i say so deeply. If you know that at no point in time you have never been rude to someone why take it like im talking to your soul lol .... there has been times ive seen plenty of things that didnt pertain to me so i left them there but i am an adult and i know what an opinion is and i know that i have a right to state it  so i still say SOME people are very rude and some people are very sweet!! Thats It!!

AddieCake

The fact that posts are not deleted unless done by a mod and only in rare cases (you not liking the responses would not meet the criteria) makes me think you're a lying liar who lies. 

HAGGSTOBE314

Lol okay @AddieCake.... 

AddieCake

Additionally, I find your lack of punctuation and proper capitalization difficult to take you seriously. 

HAGGSTOBE314

OK @AddieCake , i think you just want to hold conversation with me now and don't know how to ask  , How was your Thanksgiving ?

AddieCake

My Thanksgiving was delightful. Your emojis annoy me. 

HAGGSTOBE314

They look creepy right ? You know i thought so but i wasn't sure ! 

But anywho , did you cook or enjoy somewhere else ?

AddieCake

I cooked. Where are we on you getting the punctuation and capitalization under control?

HAGGSTOBE314

What do you mean ? My I's ? Or just in general ?

randomslove

Whoa. Okay, okay, I get it. You don't take anything personally. You're just stating YOUR OPINION. Check. Roger.

@AddieCake -- 

Your post earlier about OP being a lying liar who lies made me think of this.

drunkenwitch

Boring troll is boring.

AddieCake

@randomslove That thing is creepy! 

HAGGSTOBE314

Sure @scribe95 ...

MobKaz

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

Sure @scribe95 ...

If you want to respond directly to someone's comments, you can click the "quote" button at the bottom of the particular post.  Their comment will be displayed in the text box, and your comment can be typed directly underneath it.  This makes it easier for posters to know which comments are directed toward whom.

Your screen name is curious.  Does it have any particular meaning for you?

HAGGSTOBE314

MobKaz said:

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

Sure @scribe95 ...

If you want to respond directly to someone's comments, you can click the "quote" button at the bottom of the particular post.  Their comment will be displayed in the text box, and your comment can be typed directly underneath it.  This makes it easier for posters to know which comments are directed toward whom.

Your screen name is curious.  Does it have any particular meaning for you?

Thanks ! And yeah its the partial of my fiances last name . Haggins (HaggsToBe) 314 is the month and year we met. @MobKaz

OliveOilsMom

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

JaniV123 

"said attack post" was deleted, i was tired of the notifications but i cant give you my email if you dont believe "said post" took place

OP - Did you just out yourself as Lindsb93?  Your use of the phrase "I was tired of the notifications" makes it seem like YOU are that poster.  Do we need to ask for an IP address check to make sure this isn't some sly AE account, which is also against the TOS.

HAGGSTOBE314

Lmao ! I was definitely talking about MY post ! So #KeepCalm don't bring out you PI skills !!! @OliveOilsMom

kimmiinthemitten

HAGGSTOBE314 said:

Lmao ! I was definitely talking about MY post ! So #KeepCalm don't bring out you PI skills !!! @OliveOilsMom

Then why do you keep bean dipping when we ask what board it was on, what mod deleted it or which Knottie was the bully?