Looking for priest to perform wedding ceremony outside of church in Youngstown, OH

DMarie2818

Hi- I am getting married in Youngstown, OH in September and we are planning an outdoor ceremony. It is important to my family that we have a Catholic ceremony, however it is my understanding that at priest will no officiate a wedding outside of a church. Can anyone recommend a retired priest or someone willing to perform the ceremony. Any other alternative suggestions welcome as well.
Thanks!

holyguacamole79

DMarie2818 said:

Hi- I am getting married in Youngstown, OH in September and we are planning an outdoor ceremony. It is important to my family that we have a Catholic ceremony, however it is my understanding that at priest will no officiate a wedding outside of a church. Can anyone recommend a retired priest or someone willing to perform the ceremony. Any other alternative suggestions welcome as well.
Thanks!

Your understanding is correct. A Catholic priest will not officiate a wedding unless it is within the Catholic church (any exceptions require the permission of the bishop).

You'll have to decide for yourself which matters more to you: outdoor wedding or Catholic wedding.

Keep in mind, if you do not marry in the church, you will no longer be able to receive communion.

If this is something you're doing to appease your family, you need to be honest with them.

kimmiinthemitten

holyguacamole79 said:

Hi- I am getting married in Youngstown, OH in September and we are planning an outdoor ceremony. It is important to my family that we have a Catholic ceremony, however it is my understanding that at priest will no officiate a wedding outside of a church. Can anyone recommend a retired priest or someone willing to perform the ceremony. Any other alternative suggestions welcome as well.
Thanks!

Your understanding is correct. A Catholic priest will not officiate a wedding unless it is within the Catholic church (any exceptions require the permission of the bishop). You'll have to decide for yourself which matters more to you: outdoor wedding or Catholic wedding. Keep in mind, if you do not marry in the church, you will no longer be able to receive communion. If this is something you're doing to appease your family, you need to be honest with them.

If not being married in the church is okay with you, and you just want a priest to perform the ceremony for your family, you can likely find a retired minister who will perform the ceremony for you.  This is what FI's cousin did when pressured by family for a church ceremony they didn't want.

lyndausvi

It's not impossible to get married outside in the Catholic Church.  But it's VERY hard.  Honestly, I've only heard of people have VERY strong ties to a cardinal, monsignor or bishop even get the approval.  Unless your dad is playing golf every week with the cardinal, I wouldn't have much hope in getting an outside ceremony.

If you think about it makes sense.  Except for last rights, every other sacrament is done in the church. Why would the sacrament of marriage be any different?


Both DH and I were raised Catholic, but are not longer practicing.  We are not anti-Catholic or anti religion in general.  We just do not attend church unless it's a wedding, funeral or a holiday we are around family.  

 We wanted a beach wedding and found a former priest who now officiates weddings.  It made our parents happy a Catholic officiated.  We didn't really care there was some religious components.  It is NOT recognized by the Catholic church and we were fine with that.     (we got married in NJ, so not much help for you).

Like Holy said, you need to ask yourselves some questions.   Do you want to be a good Catholic?  Do you plan on raising your kids Catholic?  If yes, then you should go through the proper steps of the sacrament.  That includes getting married in a church.  

If you are only doing this to make your parents happy, then be honest with them. Tell them you do not want to be a good Catholic.   It's the adult thing to do.

MobKaz

DMarie2818 said:

Hi- I am getting married in Youngstown, OH in September and we are planning an outdoor ceremony. It is important to my family that we have a Catholic ceremony, however it is my understanding that at priest will no officiate a wedding outside of a church. Can anyone recommend a retired priest or someone willing to perform the ceremony. Any other alternative suggestions welcome as well.
Thanks!

You need to post this on your local Ohio board for specific vendor recommendations.

Please understand that regardless of who officiates, this will NOT be a Catholic ceremony.  It may have some undertones of Catholic prayers and readings, but it will not follow a Mass protocol because it cannot.  Nothing replaces a Catholic ceremony.

To be honest, as a Catholic with two married children, such an idea would not placate me.  While my daughter married in a full nuptial Mass, my son married in a secular courtyard ceremony.  They are two completely different people.  Their ceremony was a reflection of who THEY are as couples.  It should NOT be based on what parents want or expect.  A retired priest, in my opinion, is no different than a secular officiant.  It may take on a more prayerful or spiritual atmosphere, but it has NO significance to the church, or your standings in it.

CMGragain

Why is having an outdoor ceremony so important to you?

TrixieJess

The PPs are all correct. I know only of one person who was able to have a Catholic ceremony outside and it took a year of petitioning the Bishop and they didn't know until the invites went out that they were going to be able to have their ceremony. 

My friend who had the ceremony was in very good standing with her church and she and her FI had a lot of hoops to jump through to be able to have their wedding outside. 

MrsMack10612

TrixieJess said:

The PPs are all correct. I know only of one person who was able to have a Catholic ceremony outside and it took a year of petitioning the Bishop and they didn't know until the invites went out that they were going to be able to have their ceremony. 

My friend who had the ceremony was in very good standing with her church and she and her FI had a lot of hoops to jump through to be able to have their wedding outside. 

I am intrigued by this and it begs repeating of CMGrs question...for two people who so clearly wanted to have a valid Catholic marriage ceremony, why was they outdoor ceremony so important that they couldn't go by the book and have the ceremony in the church? As well, what reason was so compelling that the Bishop actually approved it?

lyndausvi

MrsMack10612 said:

TrixieJess said:

The PPs are all correct. I know only of one person who was able to have a Catholic ceremony outside and it took a year of petitioning the Bishop and they didn't know until the invites went out that they were going to be able to have their ceremony. 

My friend who had the ceremony was in very good standing with her church and she and her FI had a lot of hoops to jump through to be able to have their wedding outside. 

I am intrigued by this and it begs repeating of CMGrs question...for two people who so clearly wanted to have a valid Catholic marriage ceremony, why was they outdoor ceremony so important that they couldn't go by the book and have the ceremony in the church? As well, what reason was so compelling that the Bishop actually approved it?

I'm not a good Catholic, so take my answer with a grain of salt. 

It's not that it's outside is the issue for the Catholic church. It's the lack of a altar.  That is why the Pope can say masses outside, because there is an altar (I forget the correct term, but you can't just throw up a table and call it an altar).

To me that is just a man made excuse.  No one will ever convince me that Jesus or God him/herself would make a couple get married in a building.  Buildings do not make churches.  People do.  People can be anywhere.    

The Catholic church says god created the sky, the sun, the grass, the trees, the flowers, etc.   And yet the Catholic church wants you to believe god would rather you get married in a man made structure?  I don't buy it.  At all.

holyguacamole79

lyndausvi said:

MrsMack10612 said:

TrixieJess said:

The PPs are all correct. I know only of one person who was able to have a Catholic ceremony outside and it took a year of petitioning the Bishop and they didn't know until the invites went out that they were going to be able to have their ceremony. 

My friend who had the ceremony was in very good standing with her church and she and her FI had a lot of hoops to jump through to be able to have their wedding outside. 

I am intrigued by this and it begs repeating of CMGrs question...for two people who so clearly wanted to have a valid Catholic marriage ceremony, why was they outdoor ceremony so important that they couldn't go by the book and have the ceremony in the church? As well, what reason was so compelling that the Bishop actually approved it?

I'm not a good Catholic, so take my answer with a grain of salt. 

It's not that it's outside is the issue for the Catholic church. It's the lack of a altar.  That is why the Pope can say masses outside, because there is an altar (I forget the correct term, but you can't just throw up a table and call it an altar).

To me that is just a man made excuse.  No one will ever convince me that Jesus or God him/herself would make a couple get married in a building.  Buildings do not make churches.  People do.  People can be anywhere.    

The Catholic church says god created the sky, the sun, the grass, the trees, the flowers, etc.   And yet the Catholic church wants you to believe god would rather you get married in a man made structure?  I don't buy it.  At all.

Here's an article that explains it moderately well.  I also liked this explanation:  “The Church expects that a wedding, being a solemn and sacramental event, should occur in a church—in sacred space…We Catholics take this notion of sacred space very seriously. That’s why being inside a church feels different from being somewhere else. An atmosphere of peace, reverence and respect is important to us, so that all will feel welcome, and so that a sense of God’s loving presence permeates the place. We believe that weddings are sacred moments, which should ordinarily happen in the place where the bride or groom worships, with their families and their faith community. A church isn’t just a set or backdrop for a wedding; rather, a wedding is an expression of a faith community’s joys and hopes.”

I've been to Mass in quite a few odd places.  I've been to Mass on a cruise ship.  I've been to Mass in several convention centers, hotel ballrooms, school auditoriums, etc.  I've been to a mass outdoors where the "altar" was a rock.  (Granted, the rock was quite large).  Neither the cruise ship nor the convention center had a real altar ... it was often just a table that the venue had available.  Those venues were out of necessity.  When it was at a convention center, we had over 3,000 people there from across the country for a conference.  A large convention center was the only option.  When we were on a cruise, the ballroom on the cruise ship was the only option.  When we were outdoors, we were on a pilgrimage and were visiting ruins in Greece.  Again, where we were was the only option.  All of these scenarios were exceptions to the rule ... I'd say it accounts for < 3% of the Masses I've attended in my lifetime (I'm 36).

People don't opt to have a Mass outside just because it's pretty; it's done when the physical church isn't really a viable option.  

The key point is that a Catholic wedding location is not about the physical venue, but about the fact that the physical church is where the community of faith gathers to worship and celebrate most of the sacraments.  If I were to go to St John's down the street and say that I wanted to get married there because I liked how it looked better than how it looked at my church, there would be raised eyebrows.  My husband & I got married at the church we were attending at the time. I had been involved there for many years (he had just moved to Houston, so it was new for him) and it was incredibly special to know that it was our spiritual home.  I dreamed of coming to Sunday Mass with my children one day at that church and saying that's where their mom & dad got married.  We have since switched parishes for various reasons and have not been able to have children yet, but I had strongly hoped that I would be able to say that one day.

I hope this all helps!

lyndausvi

holyguacamole79 said:

lyndausvi said:

MrsMack10612 said:

TrixieJess said:

The PPs are all correct. I know only of one person who was able to have a Catholic ceremony outside and it took a year of petitioning the Bishop and they didn't know until the invites went out that they were going to be able to have their ceremony. 

My friend who had the ceremony was in very good standing with her church and she and her FI had a lot of hoops to jump through to be able to have their wedding outside. 

I am intrigued by this and it begs repeating of CMGrs question...for two people who so clearly wanted to have a valid Catholic marriage ceremony, why was they outdoor ceremony so important that they couldn't go by the book and have the ceremony in the church? As well, what reason was so compelling that the Bishop actually approved it?

I'm not a good Catholic, so take my answer with a grain of salt. 

It's not that it's outside is the issue for the Catholic church. It's the lack of a altar.  That is why the Pope can say masses outside, because there is an altar (I forget the correct term, but you can't just throw up a table and call it an altar).

To me that is just a man made excuse.  No one will ever convince me that Jesus or God him/herself would make a couple get married in a building.  Buildings do not make churches.  People do.  People can be anywhere.    

The Catholic church says god created the sky, the sun, the grass, the trees, the flowers, etc.   And yet the Catholic church wants you to believe god would rather you get married in a man made structure?  I don't buy it.  At all.

Here's an article that explains it moderately well.  I also liked this explanation:  “The Church expects that a wedding, being a solemn and sacramental event, should occur in a church—in sacred space…We Catholics take this notion of sacred space very seriously. That’s why being inside a church feels different from being somewhere else. An atmosphere of peace, reverence and respect is important to us, so that all will feel welcome, and so that a sense of God’s loving presence permeates the place. We believe that weddings are sacred moments, which should ordinarily happen in the place where the bride or groom worships, with their families and their faith community. A church isn’t just a set or backdrop for a wedding; rather, a wedding is an expression of a faith community’s joys and hopes.”

I've been to Mass in quite a few odd places.  I've been to Mass on a cruise ship.  I've been to Mass in several convention centers, hotel ballrooms, school auditoriums, etc.  I've been to a mass outdoors where the "altar" was a rock.  (Granted, the rock was quite large).  Neither the cruise ship nor the convention center had a real altar ... it was often just a table that the venue had available.  Those venues were out of necessity.  When it was at a convention center, we had over 3,000 people there from across the country for a conference.  A large convention center was the only option.  When we were on a cruise, the ballroom on the cruise ship was the only option.  When we were outdoors, we were on a pilgrimage and were visiting ruins in Greece.  Again, where we were was the only option.  All of these scenarios were exceptions to the rule ... I'd say it accounts for < 3% of the Masses I've attended in my lifetime (I'm 36).

People don't opt to have a Mass outside just because it's pretty; it's done when the physical church isn't really a viable option.  

The key point is that a Catholic wedding location is not about the physical venue, but about the fact that the physical church is where the community of faith gathers to worship and celebrate most of the sacraments.  If I were to go to St John's down the street and say that I wanted to get married there because I liked how it looked better than how it looked at my church, there would be raised eyebrows.  My husband & I got married at the church we were attending at the time. I had been involved there for many years (he had just moved to Houston, so it was new for him) and it was incredibly special to know that it was our spiritual home.  I dreamed of coming to Sunday Mass with my children one day at that church and saying that's where their mom & dad got married.  We have since switched parishes for various reasons and have not been able to have children yet, but I had strongly hoped that I would be able to say that one day.

I hope this all helps!

I know the church's stance.  I just don't buy that god actually believes that.   I can't think of a more peaceful atmosphere than the outdoors.  The place god created first.  He didn't create the man made buildings.  S/he created the great outdoors.

If I can attend mass for 20 months in a public middle school cafeteria, I think they can figure out how to a sacred place outside, not in a man made building.

holyguacamole79

@lyndausvi , gotcha..  I was more referring to your comment "It's not that it's outside is the issue for the Catholic church. It's the lack of a altar. "

lyndausvi

holyguacamole79 said:

@lyndausvi , gotcha..  I was more referring to your comment "It's not that it's outside is the issue for the Catholic church. It's the lack of a altar. "

  All the places you had mass outside of "real" church had to have had an consecrated altar.  


All of the altars that the Pope used during the masses outside of standing churches all were consecrated altars.  They didn't just throw up a table and call it an altar.  It had to have used the correct stone or materials, plus must have been consecrated.

Since you need a consecrated altar to received sacraments, they make you do them in a church.

I didn't pick the beach just because it's pretty, anymore than my sister picked her beautiful Catholic church (family church, parents got married there too).  I feel more connected to God outside.  Really.  I feel more of connection to him looking at the trees, flowers, sky, etc that he created then inside a building.

holyguacamole79

lyndausvi said:

holyguacamole79 said:

@lyndausvi , gotcha..  I was more referring to your comment "It's not that it's outside is the issue for the Catholic church. It's the lack of a altar. "

  All the places you had mass outside of "real" church had to have had an consecrated altar.  


All of the altars that the Pope used during the masses outside of standing churches all were consecrated altars.  They didn't just throw up a table and call it an altar.  It had to have used the correct stone or materials, plus must have been consecrated.

Since you need a consecrated altar to received sacraments, they make you do them in a church.

I didn't pick the beach just because it's pretty, anymore than my sister picked her beautiful Catholic church (family church, parents got married there too).  I feel more connected to God outside.  Really.  I feel more of connection to him looking at the trees, flowers, sky, etc that he created then inside a building.

In my experiences of having a Mass outside of the church, I'm not aware of those altars being consecrated.  When I said that we had Mass outisde and used a rock for an altar, here's what it looked like:



We were on pilgrimage in Greece and were quite literally in the middle of nowhere visiting ruins.  The priest may have said a blessing prior to the Mass which may have "counted" as consecrating it, but I was not aware of it.  Likewise, when we were on a Caribbean cruise with our church, our pastor said Mass on the cruise ship while we were at sea.  I think we were in one of the "lounges" that they use in the evening for entertainment.  Again, they used whatever the cruise ship provided.

When I hear references to consecrating an altar, I think of what happens when a new church is built and the bishop comes for the official consecration.  It's quite an elaborate ordeal.  Also, most altars have a relic of some sort built into them.  This is an explanation provided by a super-conservative priest (he makes me look like a raging liberal!  http://wdtprs.com/blog/2015/06/ask-father-relics-consecrated-altars-and-liceity-of-mass/

The situations I mentioned above were definitely out of the norm, however.

CMGragain

In the Catholic and Orthodox churches, marriage is a Holy Sacrament.  It must be performed on consecrated ground (in a church).  The other Christian faiths do not consider marriage to be a sacrament.  Protestant weddings are performed by a minister, who asks God's blessings on the union, but the marriage is a civil contract.  Protestant churches generally recognize only two or three sacraments: baptism, confirmation, and of course, communion.  This is why a protestant Christian ceremony can be performed anywhere, but Catholic and Orthodox Christian ceremonies must be held in churches.
Ordination of Catholic priests is also a sacrament.  While older priests may not have a congregation, they never retire.  They are priests for their lifetime.
OP, I still want to know why having an outdoor ceremony is so important to you!

Jen4948

CMGragain said:

In the Catholic and Orthodox churches, marriage is a Holy Sacrament.  It must be performed on consecrated ground (in a church).  The other Christian faiths do not consider marriage to be a sacrament.  Protestant weddings are performed by a minister, who asks God's blessings on the union, but the marriage is a civil contract.  Protestant churches generally recognize only two or three sacraments: baptism, confirmation, and of course, communion.  This is why a protestant Christian ceremony can be performed anywhere, but Catholic and Orthodox Christian ceremonies must be held in churches.
Ordination of Catholic priests is also a sacrament.  While older priests may not have a congregation, they never retire.  They are priests for their lifetime.
OP, I still want to know why having an outdoor ceremony is so important to you!

Why?  If she hadn't stated she was Catholic and wanted a Catholic wedding you wouldn't care why anyone's venue of choice was important to them.

CMGragain

Religion is very important to me.  Venues are not.  I just don't get the need to violate the practices of your faith for something as trivial as an outdoor ceremony.

Jen4948

CMGragain said:

Religion is very important to me.  Venues are not.  I just don't get the need to violate the practices of your faith for something as trivial as an outdoor ceremony.

But why an outdoor ceremony is important to her is her business alone, regardless of how you feel about religious faith.

There are probably lots of good Catholics out there who have weddings in churches when their personal preferences would have been to have them elsewhere.  It's really no one's business why they would have preferred to have them elsewhere but let the Church make the decision for them where the wedding would be.  They don't have to justify why they would have preferred to get married somewhere else.  And nobody else owes you an explanation for why getting married wherever is important to them.

MobKaz

Jen4948 said:

CMGragain said:

Religion is very important to me.  Venues are not.  I just don't get the need to violate the practices of your faith for something as trivial as an outdoor ceremony.

But why an outdoor ceremony is important to her is her business alone, regardless of how you feel about religious faith.

There are probably lots of good Catholics out there who have weddings in churches when their personal preferences would have been to have them elsewhere.  It's really no one's business why they would have preferred to have them elsewhere but let the Church make the decision for them where the wedding would be.  They don't have to justify why they would have preferred to get married somewhere else.  And nobody else owes you an explanation for why getting married wherever is important to them.

By raising the question, the OP has made it our business.  She has stated what is important to her family.  Our responses, in part, are encouraging the OP to have the ceremony that is important and significant to her and her FI as a couple. By understanding why OP wants an outdoor ceremony versus a religious ceremony will allow us to help her formulate an argument as to why HER ceremony should take precedence over the wishes of her parents.

And I disagree with your statement regarding "good Catholics".  If, by "good" you mean "faithful", then that bride would not consider it as she would already understand the tenets and requirements to having a sacramental marriage.

Jen4948

MobKaz said:

Jen4948 said:

CMGragain said:

Religion is very important to me.  Venues are not.  I just don't get the need to violate the practices of your faith for something as trivial as an outdoor ceremony.

But why an outdoor ceremony is important to her is her business alone, regardless of how you feel about religious faith.

There are probably lots of good Catholics out there who have weddings in churches when their personal preferences would have been to have them elsewhere.  It's really no one's business why they would have preferred to have them elsewhere but let the Church make the decision for them where the wedding would be.  They don't have to justify why they would have preferred to get married somewhere else.  And nobody else owes you an explanation for why getting married wherever is important to them.

By raising the question, the OP has made it our business.  She has stated what is important to her family.  Our responses, in part, are encouraging the OP to have the ceremony that is important and significant to her and her FI as a couple. By understanding why OP wants an outdoor ceremony versus a religious ceremony will allow us to help her formulate an argument as to why HER ceremony should take precedence over the wishes of her parents.

And I disagree with your statement regarding "good Catholics".  If, by "good" you mean "faithful", then that bride would not consider it as she would already understand the tenets and requirements to having a sacramental marriage.




Just because it's important to her family for the OP to have a sacramental Catholic marriage doesn't mean it's important to the OP or her FI. If it was, she wouldn't even be thinking about getting married any other way, let alone asking about it on an Internet forum. And it's not up to her family whether or not she gets married in a Catholic ceremony-this is one of the few areas of wedding planning where paying does not confer a say. If they refuse to attend a non-Catholic ceremony, that's their choice and the OP will have to accept that.

We're always telling posters that when it comes to the ceremony, this is the one part of a wedding that is strictly up to them and not to make it a religious ceremony if they don't actually share those beliefs, because it's disrespectful to that religion to marry in its ceremony or house of worship if you don't believe in its teachings.

If a sacramental Catholic wedding isn't the kind of wedding the OP (and presumably her FI) wants, then she'll have to accept that the Catholic Church won't consider it a valid sacramental marriage. It might be nice if they did, so there aren't so many couples asking how to have a wedding that has personal meaning and significance for them in a non-Catholic ceremony while trying to stay Catholic. That the Church is so strict about the weddings it allows is its privilege. Fair enough.

But no one owes anyone else a defense of why whatever kind of wedding she does want is important to her simply because she's Catholic and the ceremony she'd rather have isn't. It's totally reasonable to just tell the OP, "I'm sorry, but the only way to have a Catholic wedding is to marry in a Catholic church in a ceremony that follows the Catholic Church's rules and traditions" if that's the position you (generic) want to take. But if it is, then why an outdoor wedding is important to her is not your (again generic) business.

TrixieJess

MrsMack10612 said:

TrixieJess said:

The PPs are all correct. I know only of one person who was able to have a Catholic ceremony outside and it took a year of petitioning the Bishop and they didn't know until the invites went out that they were going to be able to have their ceremony. 

My friend who had the ceremony was in very good standing with her church and she and her FI had a lot of hoops to jump through to be able to have their wedding outside. 

I am intrigued by this and it begs repeating of CMGrs question...for two people who so clearly wanted to have a valid Catholic marriage ceremony, why was they outdoor ceremony so important that they couldn't go by the book and have the ceremony in the church? As well, what reason was so compelling that the Bishop actually approved it?

They were having a wedding for 350 people, the groom was not from the same city as the Bride originally and most of his family was from out of country. The bride and groom lived in the bride's city as they met at work. The bride's church is very small and would not hold all the people on their guest list. They petitioned the Bishop to hold the ceremony at the same place as the reception with the priest that she has known since she was a child. The venue had a beautiful outdoor location that would fit everyone and had an area if it rained. She was in good standing so the request was taken under consideration and granted. 

There were special circumstances in this case, but it was still a lengthy process and if she had not been a regular church member, it would not have happened. 

[Deleted User]

Something to consider, even if you have a retired priest perform the ceremony your marriage won't be recognized by the church and depending on the church, that would cause problems if you have children that you want to have baptized catholic.

photokitty

Your marriage will not be recognized by the Roman Catholic Church, BUT this minister out of Columbus is a priest in the Old Catholic Church.

http://www.ohioweddingminister.com

If being in good standing with the Roman Catholic Church is not of concern, I highly recommend Father Stephen. He can offer a ceremony that will feel Catholic outside the church, but you will not be in good standing with RCC afterwards. GL!

photokitty

Erikan73 said:

Something to consider, even if you have a retired priest perform the ceremony your marriage won't be recognized by the church and depending on the church, that would cause problems if you have children that you want to have baptized catholic.

I don't believe this is true, you don't have to be in good standing to raise children in good standing. The pope had even commented on this. The sins of the parent do not transfer to the child.

holyguacamole79

photokitty said:

Something to consider, even if you have a retired priest perform the ceremony your marriage won't be recognized by the church and depending on the church, that would cause problems if you have children that you want to have baptized catholic.

I don't believe this is true, you don't have to be in good standing to raise children in good standing. The pope had even commented on this. The sins of the parent do not transfer to the child.

PhotoKitty is correct.  

If parents are in an invalid marriage, their children can be baptized in the Catholic Church provided the following conditions are met:

"That the parents, or at least one of them, or the person who lawfully holds their place, give their consent;

"That there be a well-founded hope that the child will be brought up in the Catholic religion. If such hope is truly lacking, the baptism is, in accordance with the provisions of particular law, to be deferred and the parents advised of the reason for this.

"An infant of Catholic parents, indeed even of non-Catholic parents, may in danger of death be baptized even if the parents are opposed to it" (Code of Canon Law 868).

http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/if-parents-are-in-an-invalid-marriage-can-their-children-be-baptized-in-the-catholic-


----------
A priest friend once said that a child should never be denied grace through baptism.  However, if a couple is not validly married in the church, I imagine the priest / deacon baptizing the child would likely talk with them regarding their role as parents and what they will be promising to do during the rite of baptism.  

MairePoppy

Erikan73 said:

Something to consider, even if you have a retired priest perform the ceremony your marriage won't be recognized by the church and Rdepending on the church, that would cause problems if you have children that you want to have baptized catholic.c

Not true, at all.  My husband and I weren't allowed to marry in the RCC because he was divorced and hadn't had his previous marriage annulled. Our three children were baptized and warmly welcomed by the church. Our oldest attended parochial school and was one of the first female altar servers at our church, sang in the choir and later as a soloist. My husband and I were welcome at all masses (no communion, though), socials and organizations.

Our pastor was very concious of the mixed marriage couples at our church and took care in reaching out to the non-Catholic partners, paid special homage to them whenever their  children received a new sacrament. He was a typical strict Irish Catholic priest who didn't mess around with the rules, but he was also a good Shepherd.

That said, I am no longer a practicing Catholic, but I hate to see inaccurate information put out there. 

GlamQueenBride

Question for all you Catholics. What happens if a Catholic couple chooses to have a destination wedding? Can they have a Catholic wedding as long as it's inside a church at the destination?

STARMOON44

holyguacamole79 said:

photokitty said:

Something to consider, even if you have a retired priest perform the ceremony your marriage won't be recognized by the church and depending on the church, that would cause problems if you have children that you want to have baptized catholic.

I don't believe this is true, you don't have to be in good standing to raise children in good standing. The pope had even commented on this. The sins of the parent do not transfer to the child.

PhotoKitty is correct.  

If parents are in an invalid marriage, their children can be baptized in the Catholic Church provided the following conditions are met:

"That the parents, or at least one of them, or the person who lawfully holds their place, give their consent;

"That there be a well-founded hope that the child will be brought up in the Catholic religion. If such hope is truly lacking, the baptism is, in accordance with the provisions of particular law, to be deferred and the parents advised of the reason for this.

"An infant of Catholic parents, indeed even of non-Catholic parents, may in danger of death be baptized even if the parents are opposed to it" (Code of Canon Law 868).

http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/if-parents-are-in-an-invalid-marriage-can-their-children-be-baptized-in-the-catholic-


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A priest friend once said that a child should never be denied grace through baptism.  However, if a couple is not validly married in the church, I imagine the priest / deacon baptizing the child would likely talk with them regarding their role as parents and what they will be promising to do during the rite of baptism.  


Woah woah- it's official cannon law that it's cool to baptize babies even when their parents are opposed to it? That's messed up. I hope priests don't actually do this.

lyndausvi

GlamQueenBride said:

Question for all you Catholics. What happens if a Catholic couple chooses to have a destination wedding? Can they have a Catholic wedding as long as it's inside a church at the destination?

yes, assuming the church is willing to marry them.    The Catholic church where I got married doesn't do destination weddings.   (my dad wished we would get married in the church and did some re-con).   Basically they will not perform weddings for non-pashiors.  

 In the Virgin Islands for example, they were happy to do destination weddings.  As long as you follow all the rules (pre-cana, etc.)

I went to a Catholic wedding in Austria. The bride is from Austria. However,  they were married in the states for immigration reason.  They had to go through all the normal steps to have a Catholic wedding.  Their priest at home and the one in Austria were in contact to make sure everything was done properly.  


   Note- in Austria you want to have a religious ceremony, you also have to have civil one. So regardless if they got married in the states first or not, they would have had 2 ceremonies.  1 civil and 1 catholic.

holyguacamole79

STARMOON44 said:

holyguacamole79 said:

photokitty said:

Something to consider, even if you have a retired priest perform the ceremony your marriage won't be recognized by the church and depending on the church, that would cause problems if you have children that you want to have baptized catholic.

I don't believe this is true, you don't have to be in good standing to raise children in good standing. The pope had even commented on this. The sins of the parent do not transfer to the child.

PhotoKitty is correct.  

If parents are in an invalid marriage, their children can be baptized in the Catholic Church provided the following conditions are met:

"That the parents, or at least one of them, or the person who lawfully holds their place, give their consent;

"That there be a well-founded hope that the child will be brought up in the Catholic religion. If such hope is truly lacking, the baptism is, in accordance with the provisions of particular law, to be deferred and the parents advised of the reason for this.

"An infant of Catholic parents, indeed even of non-Catholic parents, may in danger of death be baptized even if the parents are opposed to it" (Code of Canon Law 868).

http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/if-parents-are-in-an-invalid-marriage-can-their-children-be-baptized-in-the-catholic-


----------
A priest friend once said that a child should never be denied grace through baptism.  However, if a couple is not validly married in the church, I imagine the priest / deacon baptizing the child would likely talk with them regarding their role as parents and what they will be promising to do during the rite of baptism.  


Woah woah- it's official cannon law that it's cool to baptize babies even when their parents are opposed to it? That's messed up. I hope priests don't actually do this.



-------

Let me be more clear. If parents bring a child to be baptized and they are in a marriage not recognized by the church, the priest would likely counsel them regarding what their role is as Catholic parents. If a bossy grandmother showed up with the child against the wishes of the parent, then the priest would say that the parent needs to be involved.

ETA: I assume that last bit of Canon law is troubling you. Note that it refers to the child being in danger of death. That said, the priests I know would not do that with an infant whose parents strongly opposed baptism.

MobKaz

lyndausvi said:

GlamQueenBride said:

Question for all you Catholics. What happens if a Catholic couple chooses to have a destination wedding? Can they have a Catholic wedding as long as it's inside a church at the destination?

yes, assuming the church is willing to marry them.    The Catholic church where I got married doesn't do destination weddings.   (my dad wished we would get married in the church and did some re-con).   Basically they will not perform weddings for non-pashiors.  

 In the Virgin Islands for example, they were happy to do destination weddings.  As long as you follow all the rules (pre-cana, etc.)

I went to a Catholic wedding in Austria. The bride is from Austria. However,  they were married in the states for immigration reason.  They had to go through all the normal steps to have a Catholic wedding.  Their priest at home and the one in Austria were in contact to make sure everything was done properly.  


   Note- in Austria you want to have a religious ceremony, you also have to have civil one. So regardless if they got married in the states first or not, they would have had 2 ceremonies.  1 civil and 1 catholic.

@GlamQueenBride, no two parishes are created equally and you will often find inconsistencies in what any individual priest may allow.  My daughter received all her sacraments in what is still my parish.  However, she had moved into her own home a year prior to her wedding.  Although technically no longer a parishoner, she was still allowed to marry there.

Some larger or well known city cathedrals may also allow non-parishoners to marry, but will often have limitations on dates and times. 

The bottom line is that if you wish to marry in a Catholic ceremony and are not currently a member of a parish, it is best to do your homework and speak directly to the parish priest.