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How to involve Bride's Brothers....

Knottie1431982233Knottie1431982233 member
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Ok, so I have 4 brothers that I am super close with and I want all of them to be involved in the wedding somehow...none will be groomsmen because my fiance also has many brothers so that is what they are doing...I think I am going to have one read, and one walk my mom down the aisle...but I still have 2 that I want to involve...suggestions please!!!!!!!
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Re: How to involve Bride's Brothers....

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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    Simply invite them to the wedding.  You can give them boutonnieres if you wish.   They will be honored guests.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited December 2015
    Knottie1431982233 said:

    Ok, so I have 4 brothers that I am super close with and I want all of them to be involved in the wedding somehow...none will be groomsmen because my fiance also has many brothers so that is what they are doing...I think I am going to have one read, and one walk my mom down the aisle...but I still have 2 that I want to involve...suggestions please!!!!!!!

    It's an honor to be a guest at a wedding. Being guests will "involve" your brothers. Presumably they will also be in photos with you too.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Could you have them be ringbearers or flowermen?  Maybe have a reading, that each one could do a verse/paragraph rather than just one brother?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Knottie1431982233 said:
    Ok, so I have 4 brothers that I am super close with and I want all of them to be involved in the wedding somehow...none will be groomsmen because my fiance also has many brothers so that is what they are doing...I think I am going to have one read, and one walk my mom down the aisle...but I still have 2 that I want to involve...suggestions please!!!!!!!
    I'd have all four of them on your side as your bridesmen if they're that important to you.  It is frowned upon to make up titles or duties to honor them.  Being a guest is an honor.  Being an honored guest with a bout and sitting in a space of prominence is an honor.  Standing next to you when you make your vows is an honor.  Most everything else is a farce.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    CrystallineRose said:
    Could you have them be ringbearers or flowermen?  Maybe have a reading, that each one could do a verse/paragraph rather than just one brother?
    If they're over the age of about 7 or 8, they're too old for this.  I have the feeling that the OP wouldn't be asking about how to "involve" her brothers if they were of the right age to do these things.
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    Knottie1431982233Knottie1431982233 member
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    Thanks to all for suggestions...

    They are all in their late 20s early 30s - so I'm thinking ring bearers and Flower men might not be their thing...I'm leaning towards honored guests (Walking in Mother, Godmother, and Grandmother maybe)

    They are traveling far (Cali, Wis, and China) to be there and I don't want to overwhelm them with a huge thing, but I do want them a part of it.  I have also been told by people that having a job doesn't allow them to enjoy the day as much, worrying about their job gets caught up in thoughts and I don;t want them to stress.

    Thoughts?
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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie1431982233 said:
    Thanks to all for suggestions...

    They are all in their late 20s early 30s - so I'm thinking ring bearers and Flower men might not be their thing...I'm leaning towards honored guests (Walking in Mother, Godmother, and Grandmother maybe)

    They are traveling far (Cali, Wis, and China) to be there and I don't want to overwhelm them with a huge thing, but I do want them a part of it.  I have also been told by people that having a job doesn't allow them to enjoy the day as much, worrying about their job gets caught up in thoughts and I don;t want them to stress.

    Thoughts?
    I like the idea of 3 of them escorting women down the aisle (mother, grandmother, godmother) and 1 doing a reading.




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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie1431982233 said:

    Thanks to all for suggestions...

    They are all in their late 20s early 30s - so I'm thinking ring bearers and Flower men might not be their thing...I'm leaning towards honored guests (Walking in Mother, Godmother, and Grandmother maybe)

    They are traveling far (Cali, Wis, and China) to be there and I don't want to overwhelm them with a huge thing, but I do want them a part of it.  I have also been told by people that having a job doesn't allow them to enjoy the day as much, worrying about their job gets caught up in thoughts and I don;t want them to stress.

    Thoughts?

    They can be escorts for female VIP guests. That would be a nice way to "involve" them. But remember, just by being there they'll be "involved."
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    VicTim328VicTim328 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Another vote for escorting female VIP's, bouts and sitting with VIP's. 

    My college roommate was in a very similar situation.  She is one of 5 with all brothers.  Her DH is one of 6.  They managed to have everyone involved.  His siblings were either attendants or read scripture. One of her brothers is very talented and played the piano for the ceremony.  Her other brothers walked both moms and all grandmothers in.
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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    I don't think escorting someone to their seat is really an honor. Why cant they just get a boutonniere and attend as a guest? Why cant they stand on your side?

    Do they want special tasks/ titles? 

    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited December 2015
    KatWAG said:

    I don't think escorting someone to their seat is really an honor. Why cant they just get a boutonniere and attend as a guest? Why cant they stand on your side?

    Do they want special tasks/ titles? 

    Why exactly is it not an honor to escort a VIP? 

    And what exactly makes getting a boutonniere an "honor" ?

    Sorry, I don't agree with you that escorting a VIP to their seat is not an "honor" or that it's just work.  If that person weren't someone who meant a lot to the bride or groom, and if the VIP weren't someone who also meant a lot to the bride or groom, no one would be asking anyone to do any escorting (unless the person to be escorted had a mobility issue).
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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    KatWAG said:

    I don't think escorting someone to their seat is really an honor. Why cant they just get a boutonniere and attend as a guest? Why cant they stand on your side?

    Do they want special tasks/ titles? 

    Why exactly is it not an honor to escort a VIP? 

    And what exactly makes getting a boutonniere an "honor" ?

    Sorry, I don't agree with you that escorting a VIP to their seat is not an "honor" or that it's just work.  If that person weren't someone who meant a lot to the bride or groom, and if the VIP weren't someone who also meant a lot to the bride or groom, no one would be asking anyone to do any escorting (unless the person to be escorted had a mobility issue).

    I just don't think its an honor. It is literally just walking someone to their seat. To me, that 'honor' is right up there with guest book attendant, gift table attendant, and house maids.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    KatWAG said:


    Jen4948 said:


    KatWAG said:

    I don't think escorting someone to their seat is really an honor. Why cant they just get a boutonniere and attend as a guest? Why cant they stand on your side?

    Do they want special tasks/ titles? 


    Why exactly is it not an honor to escort a VIP? 

    And what exactly makes getting a boutonniere an "honor" ?

    Sorry, I don't agree with you that escorting a VIP to their seat is not an "honor" or that it's just work.  If that person weren't someone who meant a lot to the bride or groom, and if the VIP weren't someone who also meant a lot to the bride or groom, no one would be asking anyone to do any escorting (unless the person to be escorted had a mobility issue).

    I just don't think its an honor. It is literally just walking someone to their seat. To me, that 'honor' is right up there with guest book attendant, gift table attendant, and house maids.

    I agree with you that the three jobs you memention are not honors, but I disagree that escorting VIPs falls in that "non-honor job" category.
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    KatWAG said:
    Jen4948 said:
    KatWAG said:

    I don't think escorting someone to their seat is really an honor. Why cant they just get a boutonniere and attend as a guest? Why cant they stand on your side?

    Do they want special tasks/ titles? 

    Why exactly is it not an honor to escort a VIP? 

    And what exactly makes getting a boutonniere an "honor" ?

    Sorry, I don't agree with you that escorting a VIP to their seat is not an "honor" or that it's just work.  If that person weren't someone who meant a lot to the bride or groom, and if the VIP weren't someone who also meant a lot to the bride or groom, no one would be asking anyone to do any escorting (unless the person to be escorted had a mobility issue).

    I just don't think its an honor. It is literally just walking someone to their seat. To me, that 'honor' is right up there with guest book attendant, gift table attendant, and house maids.
    This probably varies from one family to the next. In my family, it's considered an honor to be asked to usher. It's also an honor to be ushered. Usually, the gm perform that duty, but in this case, the brothers could greet the guests and usher them to their seats, wear bouts, dress in whatever they like or have the option of coordinating with the wedding party, be listed in the program, and be invited to the rehearsal and dinner. Aside from that, if the brothers don't want to do it, they are free to decline. Just like other wedding party members, usher duties end at the ceremony, so they may enjoy the reception with the other guests.

    If you're having a Catholic ceremony, the brothers could present the gifts (bread and wine) for the mass. 
                       
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