Wedding Etiquette Forum

question on invitation wording - 2 sets of divorced parents

first time posting, but with two sets of divorced parents, wedding planning has been no picnic.  

working on our wedding invites now.  both sets of parents are divorced and i'm struggling with the wording.  my father is hosting 95% of our wedding (my fiance and i are pitching in here & there).  

my mother is not contributing financially; it seems inappropriate to say "mr & mrs x AND ms. x request the honour of your presence" - however, also inappropriate to have no mention of my mother.  it then sounds like i am my stepmother's daughter and my mother's not in the picture.  (not to mention, i don't know that my stepmother is even contributing in any meaningful way - i think their finances are still fairly separate?)

i considered "mr & mrs x request the honour... at the wedding of HIS daughter", rather than "THEIR daughter", but have a feeling my stepmother will be offended.  

i considered "together with their families", but my father is being so generous, i don't want the implication to be that he's not hosting the reception.  that seems... not right, either.

suppose i'm just looking for a hail mary/creative descriptor that i haven't been able to nail down myself.  anyone else in this boat? 

Re: question on invitation wording - 2 sets of divorced parents

  • Well paying and hosting are two different things.  And typically only the host name is present on the invite.  But it sounds like there could be some drama if people are not included.  

    What about...

    Mr. and Mrs. Dad's Name
    and
    Ms. Mom's Name

    request the...

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    (Traditional)

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of his daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    at time o'clock
    Venue Name
    Address
    City, State

    (Non-traditional)

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company
    as they are united in marriage
    (etc.)


    The wedding invitation is a formal note from the hosts to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where.  It is not a family tree.  It is not an honor to be on the invitation.  It does not "exclude" or "include" anyone.
    Since the groom's parents are not hosting, their names do not belong on the invitation at all.  Neither does your mother's name.  You do list all these people in your wedding program. 
    Paying for your reception does not necessarily mean hosting, but if your father is paying for 95%, he should be listed as host.  If your mother is actively helping you plan the wedding, you may list her, also.  From your post, it didn't sound like this was the case.  Your mother's name would come above your father's, on a separate line, if she is hosting.
    The traditional wording makes it crystal clear that your father's wife is your stepmother.  It is not insulting to be a stepmother.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I like @Maggie0829's suggestion if you want to list names.

    For ours, we didn't even mention any family. It said "You are cordially invited to the wedding of..."
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    Well paying and hosting are two different things.  And typically only the host name is present on the invite.  But it sounds like there could be some drama if people are not included.  

    What about...

    Mr. and Mrs. Dad's Name
    and
    Ms. Mom's Name

    request the...
    Sorry, no.  If your mother is also hosting your wedding, it would be this:

    Ms. Bridesmother's Full Name
    Mr. and Mrs. Bridesfather's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company.....


    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    Oh, this isn't a church wedding, is it?  The wording is different if it is, and even more if it is a Catholic wedding with Mass.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    Well paying and hosting are two different things.  And typically only the host name is present on the invite.  But it sounds like there could be some drama if people are not included.  

    What about...

    Mr. and Mrs. Dad's Name
    and
    Ms. Mom's Name

    request the...
    Sorry, no.  If your mother is also hosting your wedding, it would be this:

    Ms. Bridesmother's Full Name
    Mr. and Mrs. Bridesfather's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company.....



    This (or honor of your presence if church wedding, I believe).

    Never separate divorced people by an 'and.' They just get a new line.
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