Friday Weddings. What are your thoughts?

TrixieJess

ajones25 said:

Let's state the obvious- A Friday wedding will save you so much money. Your favorite vendors will probably be available and you can probably negotiate cheaper rates merely because what else would they be doing on a Friday night?

ALSO, if they love you, they will come. I've attended Monday and Tuesday weddings- sometimes people take the week off work and make a vacation into it. A Friday wedding could be even better if your family lives far enough away that they would need to commit to taking that day off and traveling anyway or your family and friends all live very close so they can come right after work. 

Finally, this might give you greater flexibility with your guest list. Perhaps you can invite all the people you want knowing many of them won't make it but you'll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that you didn't have to leave anyone out.  And, they will still send you love, good wishes, and maybe even a gift. And if by some chance they all love you so much that they all decide to attend- then you will have saved money by hosting it on a Friday instead of a Saturday. 

It really boils down to your community- friends and family. If they don't mind, why should you? But if they're all a bunch of fussy kids who don't care enough to take half a day off work to spend the most important day of your life with you- perhaps it's better if they're not there to begin with. Eh. 

Okay, let's break this down.

You decide to have a Friday wedding kid free (even if my kid is invited, he can't go to an evening wedding because it's past his bedtime)

I have to try and find a sitter for one of the busiest nights of the week, pay that sitter $13/hr for at least 6 hours (ceremony at 7, leave at 6 because most venues are in the outskirts where I live that do Friday night weddings, and leave by 11 because I've been up since 6am with a toddler). I have to leave work and hour early so that I can go home and get ready.

This is all taking into account a 7pm start and we all know that Friday weddings don't all start at 7pm, some start earlier.

A Saturday or even Sunday wedding, I wouldn't have to pay for a babysitter because I could get a grandma to watch our son, but both work during the week. As well, most of the venues that are "cheaper" on Fridays are out in the middle of nowhere, so if we want to drink, we have to pay a fortune for a cab. 

We we would most likely decline a Friday wedding because it is inconvenient and expensive. I'm sorry if that makes me selfish.

YogaSandy

I've only been to one Friday evening wedding. It was OOT, which the combination of the two would usually make me decline. I'm a teacher, so it is WAY more work to be away. I don't get holidays in the traditional sense that I can take them whenever I want. If it's a local wedding and I don't have to take time off work, I'll come. 

However, the one wedding we did attend was OOT (a 7+ hour drive, so Friday off work, Thursday Friday in a hotel). The groom was someone I had known since probably before kindergarten. He also worked with DH for a while. He was invited to our wedding (with his then gf, the woman he married). He would have been 22 at our wedding. He pulled DH aside and sincerely thanked him for the invite. He said it meant so much because he had never been invited to a wedding before. Fast forward a few years later. He moved, so he and DH didn't work together anymore. They still kept in contact, but had drifted. We were invited to his wedding. I'm assumed it was because of how much our invitation meant to him, so of course we went. We made a special effort to make sure we could make it. Regular circumstances - we wouldn't have. 

And it it didn't hurt that at our wedding, his wife told me I was the most beautiful bride she had ever seen.

wandajune6

If it's a Friday night wedding held locally, I might consider it. DH and I have flexible work schedules so it's not a big deal, assuming we can manage it around getting to The Kid to his mama per their custody agreement.

If you're out of town, it's not happening unless you're a BFF or very close relative. Traveling on Fridays is usually expensive and more annoying, I'd have to figure out coverage for The Kid, take at least a day off of work, and have all of the usual expenses.

If I found out that you were hosting the wedding during the week with the goal of having us not attend the wedding but send a gift, one of the following would happen:

1. I would show up with DH and bring a token gift.
2. Decline and not send a gift.
3. Decline, not send a gift and likely not send a gift to any other future gift-giving events including, but not limited to, bridal showers, baby showers, anniversary events, etc.

In a nutshell, if I thought you were inviting us for the gift rather than because you wanted us at your wedding, I would think that you're not the type of person that I want in my life.

[Deleted User]

Follow up! Thank you everyone for your advice and opinions. My FH and I decided to host a Friday wedding. Contract has been signed. I followed your suggestions, and checked with the WP and VIPs. Everyone was totally fine with attending a Friday wedding. In fact, some folks stated they'd prefer a Friday (no church the next day and excuse to take off work) over a Saturday. 

Knottie1438451656

I am having a Friday wedding, but it is also Good Friday so most of our guests already have the day off. I am also ATTENDING a Friday wedding in 2 weeks.
The ceremony is at 7pm giving me two hours to get to the hotel & venue (which is an hour away) after work. It's a little bit of an annoyance that i will have to rush to get ready, but i don't really consider it an inconvenience.

I think if you have a later ceremony most people wont mind coming on a Friday, and those who really matter will be there regardless of time. Now if it was an early afternoon ceremony, I do think some people would be a little put off you're asking them to take off work for you.

Viczaesar

Knottie1438451656 said:

I am having a Friday wedding, but it is also Good Friday so most of our guests already have the day off. I am also ATTENDING a Friday wedding in 2 weeks.
The ceremony is at 7pm giving me two hours to get to the hotel & venue (which is an hour away) after work. It's a little bit of an annoyance that i will have to rush to get ready, but i don't really consider it an inconvenience.

I think if you have a later ceremony most people wont mind coming on a Friday, and those who really matter will be there regardless of time. Now if it was an early afternoon ceremony, I do think some people would be a little put off you're asking them to take off work for you.

You're having a wedding on Good Friday?  I doubt the Friday part of that is going to be what's a problem for you.

I really, really hate the bolded point of view.  No, not all people who "really matter" will be able to attend your wedding regardless of how inconvenient it is or how much they would love to be there.

wellnow

I have to add that I've been invited to several Friday weddings, and I've only been able to attend one of them.  It was a complete pain in the butt.  I had to reschedule last minute meetings, leave work early, and barely made it to the ceremony on time. I felt flustered and out of sorts all evening. I had to decline being a BM in that wedding as well.  I understood her and her FI need to save the cash, but my feeling was have a smaller wedding or make other budget-friendly decisions.  But to be fair, it also really depends on your guests, the timing of your wedding, location/proximity, etc.

MobKaz

Knottie1438451656 said:

I am having a Friday wedding, but it is also Good Friday so most of our guests already have the day off. I am also ATTENDING a Friday wedding in 2 weeks.
The ceremony is at 7pm giving me two hours to get to the hotel & venue (which is an hour away) after work. It's a little bit of an annoyance that i will have to rush to get ready, but i don't really consider it an inconvenience.

I think if you have a later ceremony most people wont mind coming on a Friday, and those who really matter will be there regardless of time. Now if it was an early afternoon ceremony, I do think some people would be a little put off you're asking them to take off work for you.

You are having a wedding celebration on the most solemn and high holy day in the Christian community.  People have the day off because it is a religious holiday.  The day is spent being prayerful, attending services, and in some cases, fasting and not being able to eat meat. 

I don't care who you are or how much I love you.  There is not a chance I would be attending that wedding.  Did you ask anyone prior to setting that date?

MobKaz

ajones25 said:

Let's state the obvious- A Friday wedding will save you so much money. Your favorite vendors will probably be available and you can probably negotiate cheaper rates merely because what else would they be doing on a Friday night?

ALSO, if they love you, they will come. I've attended Monday and Tuesday weddings- sometimes people take the week off work and make a vacation into it. A Friday wedding could be even better if your family lives far enough away that they would need to commit to taking that day off and traveling anyway or your family and friends all live very close so they can come right after work. 

Finally, this might give you greater flexibility with your guest list. Perhaps you can invite all the people you want knowing many of them won't make it but you'll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that you didn't have to leave anyone out.  And, they will still send you love, good wishes, and maybe even a gift. And if by some chance they all love you so much that they all decide to attend- then you will have saved money by hosting it on a Friday instead of a Saturday. 

It really boils down to your community- friends and family. If they don't mind, why should you? But if they're all a bunch of fussy kids who don't care enough to take half a day off work to spend the most important day of your life with you- perhaps it's better if they're not there to begin with. Eh. 

The only thing obvious about this post is that, hands down, your attitude wins for "Most Entitled and Misguided".  It wasn't even close.

The issue, however is that......

And now, if you'll

MaggieF1990

Personally, I don't mind Friday weddings. Like someone else mentioned, I like still having the whole weekend ahead of me. Having said that, 99 percent of weddings I've attended have been local, and I don't have kids to worry about picking up from daycare, getting a babysitter, etc. However, we went to a Friday wedding last summer that started at 7:30 p.m. (mostly local guests as far as I knew) and no one seemed to mind. As long as the bridal party is OK with taking the day off work to get ready, and your VIPs are OK with it, I think you're fine. Sounds like I'm the lone one here, but I'd much prefer a Friday night wedding to a Saturday morning/afternoon (and agree with PPs on preferring Friday to Sunday). I'm just more inclined to relax and have fun in the evening, knowing I can go home and crawl into bed. 

My friend's cousin did have his wedding on a Friday afternoon, which was very strange, and she was out of town. I had met the family and was going to go as her plus one, and the planning was so inconvenient. It was about a 6-hour drive, which isn't terrible, but the wedding was at something like 1 p.m. on Friday so it would've made more sense to drive down Thursday. We ended up not going for other reasons (college town + football weekend made for $250+ hotel rates), but I remember thinking that was really strange and inconvenient considering he had a lot of out of town family.

LondonLisa

MobKaz said:

Knottie1438451656 said:

I am having a Friday wedding, but it is also Good Friday so most of our guests already have the day off. I am also ATTENDING a Friday wedding in 2 weeks.
The ceremony is at 7pm giving me two hours to get to the hotel & venue (which is an hour away) after work. It's a little bit of an annoyance that i will have to rush to get ready, but i don't really consider it an inconvenience.

I think if you have a later ceremony most people wont mind coming on a Friday, and those who really matter will be there regardless of time. Now if it was an early afternoon ceremony, I do think some people would be a little put off you're asking them to take off work for you.

You are having a wedding celebration on the most solemn and high holy day in the Christian community.  People have the day off because it is a religious holiday.  The day is spent being prayerful, attending services, and in some cases, fasting and not being able to eat meat. 

I don't care who you are or how much I love you.  There is not a chance I would be attending that wedding.  Did you ask anyone prior to setting that date?

...to you...

Not everyone is Christian. Here in the UK, everyone gets Good Friday off of work as a national holiday. I doubt you check if your Christmas party falls over Hanukkah or your birthday celebrations fall over Eid. 

Ramadan in 2015 fell over your 4th of July BBQ. People spend the day in prayer, attending services and fasting in the most solomn and holiest days in the Muslim Community.... and YOU had a 4th of July feast celebration?! See, its not nice to shame people who don't follow your faith. 

I'm not crazy about Friday weddings in general, but you are assuming an awful lot that all Christian holidays must be blocked off because they are important to you. That's great you have your faith and feel fine to decline. But to somehow insinuate that people who don't follow your faith are wrong for celebrating something on that day is myopic and self-centred. 

Let's give this poster the benefit of the doubt that her and the majority of her guests are either not Christians or not religious.  And even if she is Christian and has Christian guests, she will pay the price with a high decline rate. 

Viczaesar

LondonLisa said:

MobKaz said:

Knottie1438451656 said:

I am having a Friday wedding, but it is also Good Friday so most of our guests already have the day off. I am also ATTENDING a Friday wedding in 2 weeks.
The ceremony is at 7pm giving me two hours to get to the hotel & venue (which is an hour away) after work. It's a little bit of an annoyance that i will have to rush to get ready, but i don't really consider it an inconvenience.

I think if you have a later ceremony most people wont mind coming on a Friday, and those who really matter will be there regardless of time. Now if it was an early afternoon ceremony, I do think some people would be a little put off you're asking them to take off work for you.

You are having a wedding celebration on the most solemn and high holy day in the Christian community.  People have the day off because it is a religious holiday.  The day is spent being prayerful, attending services, and in some cases, fasting and not being able to eat meat. 

I don't care who you are or how much I love you.  There is not a chance I would be attending that wedding.  Did you ask anyone prior to setting that date?

...to you...

Not everyone is Christian. Here in the UK, everyone gets Good Friday off of work as a national holiday. I doubt you check if your Christmas party falls over Hanukkah or your birthday celebrations fall over Eid. 

Ramadan in 2015 fell over your 4th of July BBQ. People spend the day in prayer, attending services and fasting in the most solomn and holiest days in the Muslim Community.... and YOU had a 4th of July feast celebration?! See, its not nice to shame people who don't follow your faith. 

I'm not crazy about Friday weddings in general, but you are assuming an awful lot that all Christian holidays must be blocked off because they are important to you. That's great you have your faith and feel fine to decline. But to somehow insinuate that people who don't follow your faith are wrong for celebrating something on that day is myopic and self-centred. 

Let's give this poster the benefit of the doubt that her and the majority of her guests are either not Christians or not religious.  And even if she is Christian and has Christian guests, she will pay the price with a high decline rate. 

I'm not a Christian and I also commented that she might have a problem because her wedding is on Good Friday, not because it's on a Friday.  It's perfectly fine to point out that, absent more information, this might cause a problem for her guests.  I know quite a few "cultural Christians" who don't realize that Good Friday is considered a particularly solemn day not a day of celebration for devout Christians.