Wedding Woes

If he loves you, he'll love you in spite of them.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
edited December 2015 in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
I’ve been dating a wonderful man, “Paul,” for more than a year. His parents are gone, but he has included me and my young daughter in all his family get-togethers, and his relatives have embraced us warmly. I recently introduced Paul to my sweet, kind father, and they have a great rapport already. But it’s time he met my whole family. Unlike me and my father, my mother and sister are adversarial, negative harpies. They frequently throw loud tantrums at holidays and social occasions. I only see them when I absolutely have to. I have avoided situations where Paul might meet them, but now introducing him to them is overdue. I love this man deeply and want to marry him, but I don’t want my relatives to scare him off. I am terrified that they’ll make a scene and that he might, understandably, run away.
–Held Hostage by Harpies

Re: If he loves you, he'll love you in spite of them.

  • Explain how your mother and sisters act ahead of time that way he won't be surprised when it happens.

    But seriously? How can "adults" act like that and expect people to want to be around them? I don't blame her for avoiding them.

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  • Just say that your mom is crazy, yo. We all have at least one crazy family member.
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  • My fiance knows my mom is crazy - but I warned him when we started dating. He got to see it firsthand when she stopped talking to me for three months after he and I had been dating for two months. She's currently not talking to me again because I didn't tag her in a facebook post (not joking). He says he's marrying me, not her, and he'll tolerate her in order to be with me. 
  • how do you get this far in a relationship w/o discussing parents?  I mean, the basics of "they're weird/crazy, we're not close--so don't judge me for them being asses" should have come out close to when "so how many siblings do you have?  did you go to summer camp as a kid" came out in conversation, no?

    I mean "so, dono't eat the soup if we got to my parents' house" was a discussion much earlier on than this. (and the Mr. still forgot and ate the soup and then was all "OH, so that's why you warned me about the soup".  He learned though)
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