Bridesmaids financial responsibilities

PrettyGirlLost

madamerwin said:

woodtdm said:

I just want to make sure that everyone is aware that ibis an ELECTIVE surgery. She doesn't need it because there was nothing on the MRI. She does have a gallstone but of she watches her diet band cuts out fast food she will make a full recovery.

So, in Canada, surgery is covered even if it's not medically necessary? That's kind of crazy.

Their tax dollars hard at work.

TrixieJess

madamerwin said:

woodtdm said:

I just want to make sure that everyone is aware that ibis an ELECTIVE surgery. She doesn't need it because there was nothing on the MRI. She does have a gallstone but of she watches her diet band cuts out fast food she will make a full recovery.

So, in Canada, surgery is covered even if it's not medically necessary? That's kind of crazy.

Yes.

mollybarker11

lyndausvi said:

woodtdm said:

Its only $35 here in Ottawa, Canada

damn you Canadians and your cheap healthcare !!!

Daaamn, Ontario! It's $150 out here on the east coast.

[Deleted User]

mollybarker11 said:

lyndausvi said:

woodtdm said:

Its only $35 here in Ottawa, Canada

damn you Canadians and your cheap healthcare !!!

Daaamn, Ontario! It's $150 out here on the east coast.

Yup.  Took an ambulance in Alberta and they sent me a bill for a couple hundred.

JediElizabeth

Spoonsey said:

mollybarker11 said:

lyndausvi said:

woodtdm said:

Its only $35 here in Ottawa, Canada

damn you Canadians and your cheap healthcare !!!

Daaamn, Ontario! It's $150 out here on the east coast.

Yup.  Took an ambulance in Alberta and they sent me a bill for a couple hundred.

It's usually over $1,000 here in NJ. I'd take $150

woodtdm

I had brunch with some of my aunts and uncles on my mom's side and they received their invitations. I sat down with the bride and bridesmaids before her Stag and Doe and told her how to address the invitations because she asked. I was very straight forward. Make the invitation to only those you are inviting with a check here box if they are attending the wedding and reception or just the reception and make sure there is a postage paid return envelopes. They received their invites. None of the spouses were included, several names were incorrectly spelled and there were not postage paid return envelopes. The bride was sweet enough to post on social media that she will require the RSVP cards back and to include who is going to attend. I still have not received my invitation. I am definitely going. I can't wait to see how everything turns out.

short+sassy

JediElizabeth said:

mollybarker11 said:

lyndausvi said:

woodtdm said:

Its only $35 here in Ottawa, Canada

damn you Canadians and your cheap healthcare !!!

Daaamn, Ontario! It's $150 out here on the east coast.

Yup.  Took an ambulance in Alberta and they sent me a bill for a couple hundred.

It's usually over $1,000 here in NJ. I'd take $150

I live in NOLA and its at least over $1,000 for an ambulance.  Even with insurance, that usually goes against the deductible anyway so still has to be paid out of pocket, if the deductible isn't met.

My H fell off his bike a few years ago and broke his collarbone.  He was in enormous pain, but still called for a taxi to take him to the hospital in order to avoid that hefty bill.

OP, thanks so much for keeping us updated on this drama llama.  I've been lapping up the story!

MairePoppy

mollybarker11 said:

lyndausvi said:

woodtdm said:

Its only $35 here in Ottawa, Canada

damn you Canadians and your cheap healthcare !!!

Daaamn, Ontario! It's $150 out here on the east coast.

That's if you have insurance, which you pay for yourself. The $150 is your share.

VicTim328

So she sent the invitations out for a may wedding already? Can we get a confirmation on the RSVP date? @woodtdm Perhaps you've been dropped to B or C list?

woodtdm

Is there such a thing as a B or C list? I've been doing my list as invited or not invited.

Viczaesar

woodtdm said:

Is there such a thing as a B or C list? I've been doing my list as invited or not invited.

There shouldn't be such a thing as a B or C list, they're very rude.

MobKaz

woodtdm said:

Is there such a thing as a B or C list? I've been doing my list as invited or not invited.

There is if you have an ass named "Tacky".

woodtdm

I was thinking desperate, ridiculous and just plain mean.

woodtdm

Traded  in my dress and she finally contacted me. Asked for my address stating that even though we "butted" heads she would still like me to attend. I am so going

TrixieJess

woodtdm said:

Traded  in my dress and she finally contacted me. Asked for my address stating that even though we "butted" heads she would still like me to attend. I am so going

Please do a thread in Snarky Brides with a play by play!

woodtdm

I should. She lost another bridesmaid and a groomsman. I know. I have no idea what she has to do with the groomsmen. She apparently got really upset and told her soon to be husband that if he (the groomsman) couldn't make the tux rental appointment, he is OUT! She is getting worse. I can just imagine by the time May rolls around. I wonder if I am invited to the bachlorette party since she took one of my ideas.

woodtdm

I got another message from the bride yesterday. She had to tell me that she told her MOH to invite me to the shower because she wants he cousin there. I feel so bad for having "MONEY WHORE" pop up into my head. Its a good thing she sent me the links to her registries. I am not sure I would have found them on my own. (Dripping with sarcasm). She also sent me a message stating that she was so happy I was able to exchange the dress, so I sent her a pic of me in the dress.

TrixieJess

woodtdm said:

I got another message from the bride yesterday. She had to tell me that she told her MOH to invite me to the shower because she wants he cousin there. I feel so bad for having "MONEY WHORE" pop up into my head. Its a good thing she sent me the links to her registries. I am not sure I would have found them on my own. (Dripping with sarcasm). She also sent me a message stating that she was so happy I was able to exchange the dress, so I sent her a pic of me in the dress.

No idea?  

OliveOilsMom

woodtdm said:

I got another message from the bride yesterday. She had to tell me that she told her MOH to invite me to the shower because she wants he cousin there. I feel so bad for having "MONEY WHORE" pop up into my head. Its a good thing she sent me the links to her registries. I am not sure I would have found them on my own. (Dripping with sarcasm). She also sent me a message stating that she was so happy I was able to exchange the dress, so I sent her a pic of me in the dress.

I would get her the smallest/cheapest thing possible!  Or make her something!  Everyone will be so "awwwwww" with the gift and she will probably be steaming on the inside!  Like by two dollar store wine glasses, paint them up fancy and a bottle of 2 buck chuck!  Less than $10, but it will look like you spent a bundle!

woodtdm

The bride keeps procrastinating my invitation. She keeps messaging me telling me that she is putting it in the mail, and then telling me that she was really busy and never got around to it, but will definitely do it on Monday. The RSVP date is in March. I think this is her way of not inviting me. I wish she would just own up and tell me. It could also be the fact that she tried to weasel in on becoming a part of my wedding party, I have to tell her she is not in the wedding party.

geebee908

Well, if she doesn't invite you, it spoils our fun in hearing of the details of the wedding and reception. However, it's also not a bad thing for you to be spared from the probable horrors.

MobKaz

woodtdm said:

I should. She lost another bridesmaid and a groomsman. I know. I have no idea what she has to do with the groomsmen. She apparently got really upset and told her soon to be husband that if he (the groomsman) couldn't make the tux rental appointment, he is OUT! She is getting worse. I can just imagine by the time May rolls around. I wonder if I am invited to the bachlorette party since she took one of my ideas.

She better be careful.  She will "fire" herself right out of a rehearsal dinner.  I am really hoping she is marrying in a church so that whether she actually invites you or not, you can still attend!

MobKaz

woodtdm said:

The bride keeps procrastinating my invitation. She keeps messaging me telling me that she is putting it in the mail, and then telling me that she was really busy and never got around to it, but will definitely do it on Monday. The RSVP date is in March. I think this is her way of not inviting me. I wish she would just own up and tell me. It could also be the fact that she tried to weasel in on becoming a part of my wedding party, I have to tell her she is not in the wedding party.

She probably won't send it until after the shower.  Your wedding invitation may now be dependent on how you gift her at the shower.

Actually, you don't.  Much like telling someone they are not invited to a wedding, it would be inappropriate to tell someone they are not being included in a wedding party.  If she asks, tell her you've been really busy and haven't gotten around to it.

woodtdm

I already told her she was not in the wedding party. I had too. She invited herself into my wedding party. She had all these things planned and had my theme and décor picked out. I told her she can help with the bridal party and do a reading at the wedding. I was very diplomatic and told her that the wedding party is getting to large with my two sisters and his three. As for the wedding and the bridal shower she will get something off the registry. A towel her and a towel there.

thisismynickname2

woodtdm said:

The bride keeps procrastinating my invitation. She keeps messaging me telling me that she is putting it in the mail, and then telling me that she was really busy and never got around to it, but will definitely do it on Monday. The RSVP date is in March. I think this is her way of not inviting me. I wish she would just own up and tell me. It could also be the fact that she tried to weasel in on becoming a part of my wedding party, I have to tell her she is not in the wedding party.

Have other people you know gotten their invites? That behavior is too bizarre. I would think she's trying to uninvite you too if not for her pushy behavior on your wedding party. 
Shaking my head! 

woodtdm

I meant to say she can assist with the bridal shower not bridal party if she wants to.

woodtdm

Everyone else has received their invitations. That's how I found out the RSVP date is in March.

SP29

woodtdm said:

Everyone else has received their invitations. That's how I found out the RSVP date is in March.

I'd leave it be and ignore it. If the invitation shows up, it shows up. SHE knows what her RSVP date is, and she has made the time to send everyone else's their invitation- the whole, "Oh I've been busy" doesn't fly. She would drop your invitation in the mail just as she dropped everyone else's. She's being pretty petty- I don't know why she keeps telling you it's going to be in the mail- it either is, or isn't.

Is her shower before RSVPs are due? Would be rude of her to invite you to the shower but not the wedding (as you know). Part of me says my gift would be contingent on that, but then the other part says be the bigger person- give a "normal" gift, invite her to your wedding, then anything negative is on her, not you. 

MobKaz

SP29 said:

woodtdm said:

Everyone else has received their invitations. That's how I found out the RSVP date is in March.

I'd leave it be and ignore it. If the invitation shows up, it shows up. SHE knows what her RSVP date is, and she has made the time to send everyone else's their invitation- the whole, "Oh I've been busy" doesn't fly. She would drop your invitation in the mail just as she dropped everyone else's. She's being pretty petty- I don't know why she keeps telling you it's going to be in the mail- it either is, or isn't.

Is her showed before RSVP's are due? Would be rude of her to invite you to the shower but not the wedding (as you know). Part of me says my gift would be contingent on that, but then the other part says be the bigger person- give a "normal" gift, invite her to your wedding, then anything negative is on her, not you. 

This is my question as well.  As I said in the post above, I am willing to guess that perhaps this bride probably won't send the wedding invitation until after the shower.  The wedding invitation may now be dependent on how @woodtdm gifts her at the shower.  And yet, this bride is just scheissty enough to invite her to the shower for the gift and not invite her to the wedding.  Since this bride is now low on BM's, I could also see @woodtdm being invited in the guise of becoming "extra waitstaff" at her shower.

[Deleted User]

Wow! I would never do this to my bridesmaids. I'm planning on discussing their budgets. They are both still in college. One of them is preparing for med school and the other is living with her parents for now because she graduated and is looking for a job.

Beside the point, I expect them to of course pay for the dress (discussed budget) and get their own shoes. Accessories will probably include only earrings which I may just gift them. I'm planning on doing my OWN makeup so if they want to get their makeup done, they will have to pay for it. Otherwise they have a choice NOT to. I am hiring someone for hair... so I will pay for their hair as well. Any other pampering they want, like nails, they will have to pay for that since I plan on just going to with my mom for mani/pedi 2 days before the wedding.