Barns: A PSA

AddieCake

I've rolled my eyes at the burlap and lace barn "rustic" thing for years. I actually really like the look of it, though.

For me, the hate comes not with the concept itself but more with the newbs who have come along and been all, "OK, listen, guys! We're gonna have our wedding.....ZOMG are you ready for this.....in a barn with lace and burlap. I really want that rustic look, and I think it will be so cool!" and they act as if nobody has ever done or heard of this wild and crazy idea and their wedding will be SO unique. 

And their plans usually come with 27 ideas/needs for "cute signs" on everything. 

canadianteacher

It's funny that a lot of the hate for barn weddings comes from the fact that they're an "overdone" trend.  Aren't traditional weddings with a church and a reception hall overdone too then?  For every 5 reception hall weddings I've attended, I've maybe been to ONE wedding that has been held at a nontraditional venue like a barn or a cabin.
I think it's neat that people are thinking outside the box, and wanting their wedding to be different than all the others that they've been to.  What's wrong with wanting one of the most important days of your life to reflect your and your FI's interests and personalities?  Personally, we wouldn't be caught dead holding our wedding at the "______ Banquet Hall" with crystal chandeliers, monogrammed spot lights and a 10 tier cake...  But I's also never tell someone that they were "too trendy" or wrong to do that, it's just not us.

I also want to comment that barn weddings and the burlap and lace theme are not mutually exclusive.  We're having our wedding in a restored barn that the owner uses as a private event space (mostly because we know them and it's free) but our decor is going to be more formal.  No burlap, lace or mason jars in sight.  I think you can have the best of both worlds.

Definitely no ticks though.  Wedding ticks are a trend that I hope will never gain popularity.

banana468

I don't hate barns or burlap and lace.   But I don't think any of those things are all that unique either.   So if a couple want their event to have the burlap and lace and barn feel, great.   But it's not like they're the first couple to do such a thing.

And since I live in the state where Lyme was named, pretty much anywhere near grass has the potential for deer ticks.   No, I don't want to attend a wedding with the faint smell of feces, but you're taking a risk walking through the grass and you aren't in pants and tall socks.    

justsuzie

Most of the barn venues here in CT aren't "working barns."  Some are held on working farms though.  But you have just as much a chance of getting a tick mowing your yard as attending a wedding at a barn wedding.  Embrace nature, don't fear it. 

spockforprez

Agree 100% with @canadianteacher.

And I guess I don't understand why everyone assumes brides doing mason jars, burlap, etc., think they are a unique snowflake who had the coolest wedding idea EVAR!!! It's all over pinterest and wedding blogs. We know it's been done. We are not claiming it's unique. It's just easy and cheap and goes with a casual or country theme really well. I got all my decor crap free from another bride who did it, so yeah, no mistaking the fact that it's a repeat.

Almost nothing is unique when it comes to weddings. Wedding media makes sure of that (and before that, the cookie cutter wedding traditions made sure of it). Ooh, milk glass and succulents, how 2014, it's so overdone. 4-ft floral centerpieces in crystal vases with beads hanging down, seen it in every generic banquet hall in the US. Fruit in vases for a garden wedding? Très gauche. Pumpkins and foliage for a fall wedding, jeez, how boring, come up with something new, you SS! /sarcasm 

And who cares? It's just there to be pretty for a few hours. Then into a box and onto Craigslist it will go, milk glass and mason jar alike.

[Deleted User]

This post makes me smile... I think the thing I HATE the most is when I read "it's not for a wedding" or "weddings belong in a banquet hall" ... why? Because that's how it's been done for years? My grandma was married in the 40's and her "reception" was in her parents living room. As was most of the weddings in that time.  Or the church basement.  Banquet halls just like barns, old buildings, warehouses, country clubs, etc.. get started some place. Just because one person has a "idea" of what a wedding should look like doesn't mean its a one size fits all type of thing. 

On a side note... I've ridden horses for 25+ years now and never gotten a tick on me from being in the barn (there are over 30 horses in there) on a regular basis.. Now my dog on the other had  usually has a tick or two on him every year from being outside on his walks or going out to the bathroom.... Just sayin...

MaggieF1990

I don't mind the barn/country/rustic trend, but it's just not my thing, and it's definitely super trendy in Oklahoma. We had a good friend get married in one of those venues last year, and it TOTALLY fit the couple. They are southern and true country and it was perfect for them. I think it's all cute, but I'd feel like a poser trying to be more "country" than I am.

I love the non-traditional venues like warehouses and restaurants though. We ended up going with a museum because it included everything like tables and chairs, and was much more accommodating for the size of our wedding, but a close second was the warehouse of an architecture firm that I LOVED. It just would have been a lot of work on our part (and $$$) because it was about the same price as other venues but included pretty much the event space and that was it (no tables, chairs, linens, space to get ready, etc.).

It's interesting to me that in other parts of the country, the venues that are built specifically as venues are cheaper than others like museums, libraries, etc. Our venue was $3,500 (and tax deductible as it is processed as a donation to the museum), and the few built-to-be venues we looked at were $10,000+, not including food or alcohol. It was crazy!

kylexo

Yeah...kind of a lot of weird snark here about barns. I get being over the burlap and lace thing (not a fan myself) but a barn is a space, the people throwing the party make it what it is. I'm getting married in July at a barn and having a burlap and lace free wedding/reception. We liked it because of the location, size and price, and one of the really cool things about this barn in particular is that there isn't much going on, so it's really a blank slate for our design choices, something we really wanted.

themosthappy91

The reason barns, burlap, lace and mason jars get snark, despite the fact that people who have "traditional" banquet hall weddings still outnumber them by far, is because they are trendy. 

I think of it like names- sure, there are ten Elizabeths for every Jennifer, Britney or Harper, but those names make a bigger impression on people as being "overdone" because we see them a bunch in a short period of time and they flame out pretty quickly. They are tied to a particular moment in time.

Not saying people shouldn't use trendy wedding themes- if you like it, go for it! Just saying that's where the snark comes from.

kimmiinthemitten

kylexo said:

Yeah...kind of a lot of weird snark here about barns. I get being over the burlap and lace thing (not a fan myself) but a barn is a space, the people throwing the party make it what it is. I'm getting married in July at a barn and having a burlap and lace free wedding/reception. We liked it because of the location, size and price, and one of the really cool things about this barn in particular is that there isn't much going on, so it's really a blank slate for our design choices, something we really wanted.

As the OP, I just wanted to add my snark.  As someone who works on occasion for a caterer, my barn snark is more about 1.  people who adopt the style because its trendy as opposed to people who already have that style and 2.  it seems around here everyone thinks this is a new idea and they're unique.

AddieCake

To those saying "we don't think we're unique doing it; we know it's been done," I'm talking about the people who DO think they are unique about it.

 Seriously, brides have been coming here for years acting like this is new because they are the only ones in their circle to do it. 

And yes, it's annoying when people are doing it BECAUSE it's trendy, too, so I agree 100% with @kimmiinthemitten   on that. A former student of mine had a GORGEOUS burlap and lace barn wedding complete with a bouquet that involved cotton. I loved every aspect of it. But this is a girl who regularly wears sun dresses and cowboy boots. That IS her style all the time. She didn't just happen upon it in Pinterest and go gaga for it.

kimmiinthemitten

AddieCake said:

To those saying "we don't think we're unique doing it; we know it's been done," I'm talking about the people who DO think they are unique about it.

 Seriously, brides have been coming here for years acting like this is new because they are the only ones in their circle to do it. 

And yes, it's annoying when people are doing it BECAUSE it's trendy, too, so I agree 100% with @kimmiinthemitten   on that. A former student of mine had a GORGEOUS burlap and lace barn wedding complete with a bouquet that involved cotton. I loved every aspect of it. But this is a girl who regularly wears sun dresses and cowboy boots. That IS her style all the time. She didn't just happen upon it in Pinterest and go gaga for it.

I worked a barn wedding last year that while beautiful, looked like it came out of a Taylor Swift video, straight down to the lace BM dresses and cowboy boots. We were told in advance, that if asked the wedding theme was 'whimsical' not rustic or country.  Whatever floats your boat lady!  Now pardon me, while I go snark on your country, barn wedding!

MissKittyDanger

Funny thing is that a girl on my fb is planning her wedding, she is a cowboy boots kind of girl and I half expected her wedding to be a barn but it's not! Their location is a very wooded venue, but not a barn. I'm surprised because the barn venue would actually suit the couple.

Cheermom84

We are not having the wedding or reception in a barn (it will be an old church) but we are doing burlap, lace and mason jars. I know it's trendy and not original but I like it and it fits us. We wear boots, we both have a pair for working and a nice pair for other times, and will wear our nice pair in the wedding.