Bacholorette Party Drama! - I am so over this nonsense.

Shonbee16

So I've been trying to coordinate with my bridesmaids a day for the bachelorette party. My wedding is May 29th, so the MOH wants to do it the weekend before. I told her I really wanted to have my mom, FMIL, and few close friends who aren't in the bridal party there. So the only day that would work would be May 7th. It's the only day my mom and I both have a weekend off, and its the only day my best friend would  be able to go, and i'd love for her to come since she can't go to the wedding.

 So yesterday we discussed this and basically after she said that it was fine, like a half an hour later she said that I should just do something with the "older ladies" on the 7th and they'd do something closer to the wedding because apparently that's more traditional. She only invited her 2 sisters (they are my fiancé's cousins), my fiancé's sister-in-law, and his other brother's girlfriend. They didn't invite the moms, my long-time friends, or even the other 2 bridesmaids (my aunt and sister)! I feel like they totally disregarding the few things I had asked them to consider.

So now my sister and aunt are planning a separate one on the 7th and i'll have to attend both... which totally stresses me out because I have a million and one things to take care of. And on top of that, her sister decided today to have her baby shower that day, knowing full well it's the only day that this party can happen. It's like a battle between the two sides! I would love to include my MIL but i'm afraid she'll go to the baby shower instead (which is for her second child btw).

Am I overreacting or is this all just madness?!

Maggie0829

Well you can decline the party your MOH is planning.  The bride really shouldn't have any say in her bach party except for the date and invite list (and any "absolute no's" such as strippers, penis straws, etc).  The fact that your MOH is disregarding the two things that you really should have a big say in is not okay. So I would tell your friend that you appreciate that she wants to throw you a bach party but the week before the wedding will not work for you or others that you wish to invite.  If she insists with the weekend before tell her thanks for the offer but I cannot accept this party.

While brides should just be gracious and accept whatever party is thrown for them, I think it is incredibly shitty of your friend to just completely disregard those you wish to have there and how the date does not work for you.

Jen4948

I think you can tell your MOH, "I'm sorry, but due to your going back on me after telling me that the two requests I made were "fine," I'm going to have to decline your party.  It isn't going to work for me."

ourdailywed

I agree with both responses above.  Your MOH should be in charge of all the planning if she offered to host, but should obviously accommodate your preference when it comes to the date.  And the guest list is 100% your call.  If she can't accept those 2 terms, you shouldn't feel bad about kindly declining her offer to throw the party.