Etiquette

Two Family Weddings, One Day

Not sure if this is really an etiquette question, but wasn't sure where else to post this. 

Overall, I feel like wedding planning has gone pretty smoothly. The only real  monkey wrench that's been tossed in the gears is that it turns out my cousin is having his wedding on the exact same day as me, across the country. I feel bad because this obviously means some relatives are going to have to choose what wedding to go to. While I wouldn't fault any of them for going to one or the other, I hate to feel like we've put them in such a position, and I'm also genuinely sad that I can't make my cousin's wedding. He and I aren't particularly close, but his parents (my aunt and uncle) have been incredibly supportive figures in my life (holidays, came to my high school graduation, visited and stayed with my mother when my father was very ill in the hospital with cancer, etc). These relatives are on my mom's side of the family, who are all quite dispersed across the country, so I know my mom is especially bummed that her siblings can't all celebrate both these weddings together. 

FI and I got engaged over Memorial Day, and had set up venues by mid June. My cousin got engaged on the 4th of July, and his fiance booked places very shortly after that. I sent out STDs in early July, and when they arrived my mom and her brother (my uncle) finally caught up on the details of their respective kid's weddings and the conflicting dates. 

So far there has been no drama and everybody has been understanding and supportive. But any ideas for how to handle the situation delicately? I know I cannot be the first person to be in such a situation, so any advice on how others approached it would be helpful. For instance, should I still send an invite my aunt and uncle and my cousin? I feel like I should because they are of course welcome should anything change, but practically speaking it's not very likely. Also, my mom has suggested trying to arrange a Skype exchange at some point... but I don't think this is very likely to work well. I've been in enough weddings to know that the bride and groom are usually scarce enough on time, and trying to coordinate that between two weddings long distance seems difficult to me. Thoughts, ideas, things I should be aware of?

                    


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Re: Two Family Weddings, One Day

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I also would invite them even though the other wedding is scheduled for the same day.

    Can you record your wedding and send copies to relatives who attend the other wedding?
    tigerlily6VicTim328
  • Thus far I've opted out of getting a videographer -- it's just not something that I think FI and I personally want as much as photos. But I could look into getting some short videos taken of the highlights, even if on a personal video camera. That could be very doable. 
                        


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  • I agree, send the invitations to whomever you want to invite. They will make their own decisions. A girl I graduated high school with got married the same day as me. Though we are not related, she is very close with a segment of my extended family, and one of my second cousins was in her wedding and said cousin's mom was doing their catering. So there was a fair chunk of my mom's relatives in that branch who either didn't attend or only came to the ceremony (mine was in the morning, hers was afternoon). No hard feelings (except maybe for booking the caterer before I could, lol)
    image
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    Just plan as if he isn't having his the same day. People will decide for themselves what they want to do. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    CMGragaintigerlily6
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