Etiquette

Friday Wedding before Memorial day?

Hi everyone, me and FH are finally booking our venue next week and are set on having a Friday wedding. It's gonna be the Friday before memorial day weekend (May 26th 2017). Our families don't really celebrate the holiday, his family is from Hong Kong and mine are Dominican, and most of our friends are also from immigrant families that don't do the typical American thing of BBQ's etc, it's mostly treated as a day off, although we respect the holiday of course! Even so a lot of them have nontraditional work schedules (Retail, night shifts, etc).

I asked one of my bridesmaids who is a teacher and she's looking forward to taking that day off. And I don't have many out of town guests (Except 3, maybe 5). 
Anyway I think I have the date justified, I don't think it'll be a problem for my guests but I have to ask here before being 100% (being a wedding noob), are there any issues I may be missing, something I'm not considering?
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Re: Friday Wedding before Memorial day?

  • I don't think the issue is so much having a wedding on Memorial Day weekend (I think this would be one of the "better" holidays as it is necessarily associated with big family traditions, such as Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner), but that it's a Friday wedding.

    Any wedding day you pick you should always clear it with your VIPs- immediate family, WP, very close friends. If they are OK with it, go for it.

    Otherwise, the rest of your guests are still required to take the Friday off to attend, unless the wedding is much later in the evening and your guests are all local. 

    As with any Friday wedding, you may have guests decline if they can't take the day off, or you may have guests who leave your reception early as they are fatigued from being up since early in the day for work. 

    My friend got married on a holiday long weekend, but the wedding was on the Sunday. It worked out well, as it is a holiday not associated with family traditions, and 95% of the guests were local as well. Leaves Sat free, and you can still have the "party atmosphere" on the Sunday evening as Monday is the day off. 
  • Totally fine! 
  • Sunday night does sound good for that weekend, didn't think of that. I don't think my venue has a difference in price between Saturday and Sunday weddings but I'll double check. If not we'll take the risk of some people not coming. At least with our crowd it's only very close relatives and friends who find any excuse to take off of work :P 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    Sounds good to me. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • You said many of your guests work untraditional hours, does that mean not everyone would have Monday off? If so then I think it's fine to proceed with a Friday since some people would have to take time off regardless of the day you have it, just be sure to check with VIPs!

    But if most everyone would have Monday off I agree that Sunday would be the better choice. At my office the number of vacation requests for Fridays before long weekends is usually so high that they have to resort to a lottery and not everyone gets it off. 

    MCmeowcowgirl8238adk19
  • I got married Friday of Memorial Day weekend. Before we booked anything we checked with our families and our friends who we were asked to stand up with us to make sure the date was all right. If they would have had a problem we would have booked something else. 

    If you do choose this day there are a few things we did that made things easier 1) set you ceremony start as late as you can so people that work have time to get there from work. I recommend starting at 6 (or around there if possible). 2) don't ask your bridal party to be there early. Half of Hs groomsmen worked the day of and it was no problem. 3) send out save the dates. I know they are not required but we sent them to everyone because we wanted to give people as much notice to make arrangements. Hotels in my city fill up quickly so we did a room block as early as week could and got word out to people. 4) be gracious and understanding if people can't/choose not to come. Even if Memorial Day isn't a major holiday people still have traditions so respect that they might not be willing to change them.

    I'm glad we had our wedding when we did. We live OOT from all of our family so it was really nice tobhaventhe long weekend latter we were married to spend with them. I loved having a Friday wedding and it worked well for our guests, but I know it's not for everyone. 
    SP29MCmeow
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
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    seems like you have your bases covered.   You checked with the right people.  Go for it.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    MCmeow
  • Hurray got my blessing, thanks people :P. FH is really stuck on the Friday date (It's exactly 22 months from our engagement and he's really into matching important dates) So we're gonna keep that. 
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  • It's a know your crowd kind of thing and it looks like you know your crowd.  My nephew got married on the Friday evening of Memorial Day weekend and had a huge turnout - because they knew their crowd and it worked.
    I loved having the rest of my long weekend free and was able to do anything I wanted to, instead of having a saturday or sunday wedding break it up.
    MCmeowadk19
  • You said many of your guests work untraditional hours, does that mean not everyone would have Monday off? If so then I think it's fine to proceed with a Friday since some people would have to take time off regardless of the day you have it, just be sure to check with VIPs!

    But if most everyone would have Monday off I agree that Sunday would be the better choice. At my office the number of vacation requests for Fridays before long weekends is usually so high that they have to resort to a lottery and not everyone gets it off. 
    Didn't know some jobs are like that. In that case we'll send save the dates so they'll have plenty of time to take off. We were debating sending them or not since they're mostly local and it's an extra expense, but in this case it should be worth it.
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  • MCmeow said:
    You said many of your guests work untraditional hours, does that mean not everyone would have Monday off? If so then I think it's fine to proceed with a Friday since some people would have to take time off regardless of the day you have it, just be sure to check with VIPs!

    But if most everyone would have Monday off I agree that Sunday would be the better choice. At my office the number of vacation requests for Fridays before long weekends is usually so high that they have to resort to a lottery and not everyone gets it off. 
    Didn't know some jobs are like that. In that case we'll send save the dates so they'll have plenty of time to take off. We were debating sending them or not since they're mostly local and it's an extra expense, but in this case it should be worth it.
    You can also let your guests know of your wedding date via word of mouth. 
    charlotte989875cowgirl8238adk19
  • I think it's a know your crowd and area thing.  

    If you invited me to a wedding the Friday of Memorial Day weekend here unless you started around 8 I think I'd need to take time off from work as I live in a tourist area and the highway starts backing up from traffic around 1 PM.  

    But that's not necessarily the case if I need to drive inland.    
    MCmeowcharlotte989875
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
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    The only issue I would consider is traffic/travel. A lot of places have notoriously horrible traffic on Friday before long weekends. I would be careful to schedule so that people won't have to fight that to get to the wedding.

    Also, be careful about travel costs. If you're near a touristy area, the cost of hotels can jump pretty dramatically for a holiday weekend. (On the flip, if you're in a big city, there might be good deals for hotels on holidays.)  
  • Yeah, unless it was so far I had to travel on Thursday or very close by, I couldn't make a Friday wedding in the summer. 95 doesn't clear until maybe 7pm, if that. On Memorial Day Weekend? It just wouldn't happen. But, there are places traffic might not be an issue. 
  • MCmeowMCmeow
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    edited February 2016
    Gonna try to not have it during rush hour then. I'm from NYC, capital of traffic x_x. Which is honestly unavoidable no matter the day. Good thing most of my guests take public transportation, no matter how fancy the event, it's normal (Including me, don't own a car). But the drivers I know of are experienced enough to know what to avoid.
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  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth
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    edited February 2016
    MCmeow said:
    Gonna try to not have it during rush hour then. I'm from NYC, capital of traffic x_x. Which is honestly unavoidable no matter the day. Good thing most of my guests take public transportation, no matter how fancy the event, it's normal (Including me, don't own a car). But the drivers I know of are experienced enough to know what to avoid.
    TBH, if you have something in NYC, and all your guests are from the city, traffic's not going to be any bigger deal than any other day. I mean, rush hour on the Subway sucks, but we all pretty much know how to deal with that that.

    That said, I live ~10 miles into NJ, and if I wasn't already in the City for work, there's no way I will get into NYC on a weekday during rush hour. It's just too insane. Since I commute, I'd bring my outfit, make-up, etc. to the office and get ready there before heading off to a wedding. On the other hand, my FI would not join me, since he works in NJ. 

    Edit: Now that I think of it, rush hour actually probably isn't as bad on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, because so many people get out of work early, so we're not all straining the system at the same time. 
    adk19
  • MCmeow said:
    Gonna try to not have it during rush hour then. I'm from NYC, capital of traffic x_x. Which is honestly unavoidable no matter the day. Good thing most of my guests take public transportation, no matter how fancy the event, it's normal (Including me, don't own a car). But the drivers I know of are experienced enough to know what to avoid.
    TBH, if you have something in NYC, and all your guests are from the city, traffic's not going to be any bigger deal than any other day. I mean, rush hour on the Subway sucks, but we all pretty much know how to deal with that that.

    That said, I live ~10 miles into NJ, and if I wasn't already in the City for work, there's no way I will get into NYC on a weekday during rush hour. It's just too insane. Since I commute, I'd bring my outfit, make-up, etc. to the office and get ready there before heading off to a wedding. On the other hand, my FI would not join me, since he works in NJ. 

    You wouldn't just take public transit? I go into the city from NJ at rush hour all the time. It's not that hard!
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia
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    Saturday before Memorial Day here. We haven't experienced any issues with guests indicating they won't come or hotels being booked up. I think this is, for better or for worse (since the occasion itself is meant to be quite solemn), one of the "fun holidays" where the plans are pretty much hang out in a backyard and eat BBQ. (Which is precisely what is going on at my wedding lol.) It's also considered the start of the summer season, when the pools open, etc. so I don't know anyone who really travels. That's my area and my group, though!
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  • Since you said a lot of your guests work retail, it might actually be easier for them to get the Friday off instead of any other day that weekend, because of sales.
  • MCmeow said:
    Gonna try to not have it during rush hour then. I'm from NYC, capital of traffic x_x. Which is honestly unavoidable no matter the day. Good thing most of my guests take public transportation, no matter how fancy the event, it's normal (Including me, don't own a car). But the drivers I know of are experienced enough to know what to avoid.
    TBH, if you have something in NYC, and all your guests are from the city, traffic's not going to be any bigger deal than any other day. I mean, rush hour on the Subway sucks, but we all pretty much know how to deal with that that.

    That said, I live ~10 miles into NJ, and if I wasn't already in the City for work, there's no way I will get into NYC on a weekday during rush hour. It's just too insane. Since I commute, I'd bring my outfit, make-up, etc. to the office and get ready there before heading off to a wedding. On the other hand, my FI would not join me, since he works in NJ. 

    You wouldn't just take public transit? I go into the city from NJ at rush hour all the time. It's not that hard!
    I commute daily by public transit, and I might consider it for midtown Manhattan, but if I had to do the bus + subway or two, I probably wouldn't. From where I'm located, my one- way commute is 1.5-2+ hours to downtown Manhattan even though the signs by my house often say "20 minutes to the Lincoln tunnel" on off-peak hours. I'd have to love someone an awful lot to do that at night, when it's rush hour but there's no express bus lane. 
  • Yeah, if your wedding is in NYC then my guess is that your guests are either where you are or they're going against the traffic.

    As a CT resident, the holiday weekend traffic SUCKS.   I was royally cheesed that my grandmother's funeral was scheduled to be the Friday of Labor Day weekend (there were other issues with it).   My drive home from from the event would normally be about 1 hour.   It was 1 hour and 45 minutes in bumper to bumper traffic.   Luckily the kids napped in the backseat the entire time because taking nearly double the time to get to your destination is the suck. 
  • It's in Staten Island, but very close to the ferry. And most of my driving guests are from Brooklyn/Queens. So I don't know whether it's a good idea to have the wedding start at 5ish, which would cause guests to know they should take off work if they can and avoid some of the traffic. Maybe I should just trust the guests to know what they need to do and hope they aren't late x_x. A handful of friends are chronically late, even to their own graduation, so that worries me the most, haha.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
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    MCmeow said:
    It's in Staten Island, but very close to the ferry. And most of my driving guests are from Brooklyn/Queens. So I don't know whether it's a good idea to have the wedding start at 5ish, which would cause guests to know they should take off work if they can and avoid some of the traffic. Maybe I should just trust the guests to know what they need to do and hope they aren't late x_x. A handful of friends are chronically late, even to their own graduation, so that worries me the most, haha.
    If you're planning a cocktail hour, have it before the ceremony. The chronically late will miss the cocktail hour, rather than the ceremony. 
                
  • MCmeow said:
    It's in Staten Island, but very close to the ferry. And most of my driving guests are from Brooklyn/Queens. So I don't know whether it's a good idea to have the wedding start at 5ish, which would cause guests to know they should take off work if they can and avoid some of the traffic. Maybe I should just trust the guests to know what they need to do and hope they aren't late x_x. A handful of friends are chronically late, even to their own graduation, so that worries me the most, haha.
    If you're planning a cocktail hour, have it before the ceremony. The chronically late will miss the cocktail hour, rather than the ceremony. 
    I thought the cocktail hour was to give the guests food/drinks while we're off taking formal photos. I don't want us to see each other before the ceremony.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
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    edited February 2016
    Yes, you'll need the cocktail hour to entertain guests while you're doing pics if you don't want to see each other before the ceremony.

    ETA: My reasoning is that having the cocktail hour first would provide some wiggle room for the guests who arrive late because of work or who are chronically late.
                
    PrettyGirlLostMCmeowInLoveInQueens
  • Heads up- my best friend is a teacher and if she takes off a day directly attached to a holiday weekend/vacation she has to take the day as 'unpaid'. So if she took the Thursday before or Wednesday after Memorial Day, she'd be paid. But if she takes the Friday before or Tuesday after, she looses a vacation day AND does not get paid. Obviously this may differ in other districts, but just a heads up!
    MCmeow
  • Yes, you'll need the cocktail hour to entertain guests while you're doing pics if you don't want to see each other before the ceremony.

    ETA: My reasoning is that having the cocktail hour first would provide some wiggle room for the guests who arrive late because of work or who are chronically late.
    True, I just remembered the fine print given to us when we visited. My venue is providing drinks like lemonade, etc for people arriving early to the ceremony, also it's a botanic garden/cultural center so there are many things to look at nearby and a lot of seating basically everywhere. So if we have many late guests, at least the early guests will be comfortable. This thread is getting me to think about a lot of points I haven't thought of, so thanks!
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle
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    Sounds like me, and my family is the Dominican one also  :) We had a Friday evening wedding last year, on Memorial Day Weekend. It was not an issue at all. We cleared the date with everyone, but like you, our families and friends don't really do anything major on that holiday. We did have a few people decline, but we expected those to decline. It was not a problem at all for our crowd, and since we gave people advance notice, they were able to plan accordingly.
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    MCmeow
  • In terms of the lateness, it's likely that your VIPs will be meeting you earlier in the day anyway, for photos, getting ready, etc. If anyone else is late to the ceremony they'll miss it--that's their problem, not yours!
    MCmeow
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