Etiquette

Etiquette about allergy issue

Hello all! I'm new here, but I wanted to get peoples' opinions on an issue we've been trying to find a good solution to.

I have a terrible allergy to yellow dye #10. Its found in many shampoos, lotions, and soaps. My allergy is bad enough that if I even hug someone who uses a product that has this dye in it, I break out in a bad rash on my face and arms. I would really prefer not to have a rash on my face for my wedding, oddly enough.

My family and I have been trying to come up with the best solution for this problem. My FI and I are not having a receiving line so that I can try and avoid some hugging, but it won't limit all of it. A friend suggested that I include a small comment somewhere in our invitations that notes my allergy and requests if people can please be conscientious of it and possibly check their products. I feel like this could potentially be seen as rude, and also cannot guarantee that people will check. Does anyone have any thoughts on whether the invitation comment is a good idea, or have any other suggestions? Thanks!

Re: Etiquette about allergy issue

  • Ugh, that really sucks. I empathize with your situation because there's really nothing you can do to ensure that your guests will be yellow dye-free, and stating your allergy on your invitation isn't great, since you get into territory that distracts from the purpose of the invitation.

    While also not ideal, is it possible to premedicate? Maybe getting on a Benedryl regimen (or something that your doctor approves; definitely run it by your doctor to see if s/he has a better idea) is the best plan. That way you're protected no matter what you encounter.
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  • I kinda feel like medical necessities trump etiquette. Putting it on an insert or even the invite seems necessary. I'd probably also put it on the program somewhere as a reminder. It's not ideal, but it's going to keep you healthy. 

    Aside from premedication, like @100yroldblinddog ;said, I'd actually think setting up a receiving line, where you can control the situation as you greet guests may be better. (You can't skip greeting guests, so table side would be your other option.) Maybe make sure you're wearing long gloves and some kind of wrap/bolero when you greet people? 

    How do you usually deal with people? Are you not a hugger, and does everyone know why? 
    100yroldblinddogSP29
  • I agree with PPs, this one will be tough because even people that mean well will forget or not realize that a product will have that in it and come unprepared. I think the best thing you can do is talk with a doctor about your options so you're prepared to deal with what comes you way on the day of. 
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    MairePoppy
  • I do agree that medical issues trump etiquette (regarding putting something on an invite), but I also agree that putting something on the invitation probably won't solve the issue, as people will forget between the invite and the day of, or not really understand what is or isn't OK.

    I would amp up what you usually do- how do you normally get through a day without having a reaction? If that means you wouldn't hug people or shake hands, I agree with kmmssg, that something like that on your program is probably more effective.

    As well as talk to your doctor about anything you can take. 
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    I agree a line in the program is best. That way, I know right then to keep my distance from you, so to speak.  I would never want to deliberately cause you illness, but I'm not going to change my shampoo and deodorant for your wedding.  I would refrain from wearing perfumes the day of, but I would likely forget b/c it's just habit for me to put it on when I get dressed.  
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    SP29kmmssg
  • I'm with the other PP, putting on your program that due to severe allergies to certain cosmetics, that you will be refraining from hugging people. And you can easily let your Bridal party and immediate family know so those who will be close to you all during the day will be free of the item as to avoid any possible issues for you that day. Don't forget to advise your photographer because it isn't uncommon for a photographer to touch the bride & groom to help get them into position for posed photos and possibly also the person performing your ceremony.
    cowgirl8238
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    I would also put a line in your program if you have one.  But I think mentioning allergies in your invitations is likely to be unworkable.  People won't remember it and/or will find it off-putting.
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I agree that you can't guarantee people will remember, but I think you should include a notice in your invites and your program.  That way the program the day of is more of a "oh yeah" than a "what?"
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