I would have trust issues too

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I’m gay, and my coming-out process has been complicated by an anxiety disorder. I was seeing a great person who’d been understanding. Things were getting serious enough that I felt I could come out to our friends about our relationship, but then she told me she’d already informed our friends we were dating, often after I’d left the room. No one ever mentioned this to me. I was visibly agitated, and she thought my reaction was a deal-breaker. I agreed we shouldn’t see each other anymore. We’ve both since apologized, but she’s very upset that I was “ashamed” of her. I feel guilty, but also like my boundaries were massively violated. I feel I can’t trust my friends anymore and am more anxious than ever. Was I wrong to break up with her over this?

—Pushed Out

VarunaTT

So, this sounds like friends already knew LW was gay.  LW leaves room and friends attack datemate, who admits they're dating.  That happens all the time in any relationship.  I think they both overreacted and behaved poorly (datemate should've talked about feelings sooner), but LW is continuing to overreact.  

I really try hard to understand anxiety, b/c I don't have it.  But, if I was seeing someone for a significant amount of time, enough to be "serious" and person still hadn't told their friends, I'd feel like I was a secret and that there was an issue, especially when you add being gay into that mix.

artbyallie

I feel like it's hard to expect a romantic partner to keep your sexuality under wraps. Seems kind of off to say 'okay, we're in a relationship, but it's totes secret.'