Snarky Brides

BM irritation!

So we are having a small wedding party that includes my aunt and SM as bridesmaids. It is in May and outside so I wanted us all to be in boots. I didn't make them pick out a certain pair or anything, I just said black boots. They could've even been the cheap Jcpenny boots for all I care. Well this week my aunt decided to tell me she wanted to wear heels. She pretty much refused to wear boots, and I even said she could wear mone since we are the same size. I'm kinda posses because I will be in boots and they won't and I'm worried they will sink into the grass. I told her this and she shrugged me off. She wants heels.
I finally said fine and told her we needed to find matching heels for her and my SM. She then says she's not doing that either because she has so many shoes. She also refuses to go strapless and won't put her hair up either. I love her to death but I'm still pretty posses because I'm not trying to get either of them to do anything crazy and she's changing things. 

How do I let her know I want things a certain way while still being a laid back bride? Have any of you ever refused to wear somehung in a bridal party?
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Re: BM irritation!

  • You forget about your "vision" and let them wear what they are comfortable in.. I wore boots, all of my BMs wore heels, nobody noticed or cared and at the end of the day everyone was comfortable.. There, problem solved (also, why does it matter if she doesn't like her hair up? Let her wear it down. And as for the strapless dress, not everyone is comfortable in one so why push her to wear one?)

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  • adk19 said:
    Go ahead and be irritated for a second.  Then go get a margarita, glass or wine, or whatever your drink of choice is.  Then tell your Bridesmaids that whatever they choose to wear on their feet is fine with you.  Let them be comfortable!!

    ~SIB~

    This.

    Let them be comfortable so that they can enjoy your day with you. I am super small chested and HATE strapless. I hate my hair up unless I am working out or helping a goat birth. I wear boots 99% of the time so I would be OK with that one. 
  • If you want them to be in boots, you need to pay for them yourself.  Your aunt has already said she has plenty of shoes in her closet she could wear.  Why does it matter if they sink into the grass?  It's not your problem.  You are dressing up your aunt and SM like they are dolls for pictures right now, not like they are valued members of your life.  


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  • Oh FSS. No one said they are fucking dolls. I was never rude to them. I never pressured them to wear a strapless dress. And yes I was going to pay for their shoes and hair and essentially let them pick their dresses as they are paying for those. I also thought about boots for comfort as we will be outside and then doing a lot of dancing. I didn't birch anyone out, I've simply gone along with what they wanted. Maybe you aren't used to people being nice to their wedding party here, I was just venting and wanting some opinikns. And yes I realize I'm in snark brides. Thank you to the ones who were nice about just having a glass of wine and moving forward.
  • BTW I hate my tablets auto correct lmao
  • Oh FSS. No one said they are fucking dolls. I was never rude to them. I never pressured them to wear a strapless dress. And yes I was going to pay for their shoes and hair and essentially let them pick their dresses as they are paying for those. I also thought about boots for comfort as we will be outside and then doing a lot of dancing. I didn't birch anyone out, I've simply gone along with what they wanted. Maybe you aren't used to people being nice to their wedding party here, I was just venting and wanting some opinikns. And yes I realize I'm in snark brides. Thank you to the ones who were nice about just having a glass of wine and moving forward.
    If you're more concerned with your vision and your pictures, then yes, you are treating your WP like they are "fucking dolls."  

    As to the bolded, you don't even make sense here.  Literally everyone here advocates for treating your nearest and dearest like valued people, not stomping and throwing a temper tantrum because they don't want to wear a strapless dress.  


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  • No one threw a tanteum! Jesus. I asked if they wanted strapless or not, they said not, and that was literally the last time it was talked about other than her bringing it up multiple times to remind me. 
    Well it definitely feels like everyone here is acting like I'm screaming at my wp when I'm not. I was just a little ticked and wanted to know if it's common for people to decide on their own stuff. That's literally it and I'm getting treated like a horrible person when I've tried to be super flexible with EVERYTHING in the wedding. I was hoping for some constructive criticism with some more experienced inout, but clearly everyone's more concerned about acting like I'm throwing a fit, which I'm not. 
    They didn't want boots? BAM. No boots. No argument or anything from me.
    They didn't want hair up? BAM! I didn't mention it again
    They didn't want strapless dresses? BAM! I said okay no problem
    They didn't want matching shoes? BAM! no problem wear what you want.
    I'm not being a bitch  so don't attempt to paint me out as one. 

  • Excuse me! I'm sure you were all perfect brides. Since you all did it so well why don't you give my dumbass some tips?
  • geebee908 said:
    A laid back bride would say "wear whatever makes you feel great" to her bridesmaids.
    Excuse me! I'm sure you were all perfect brides. Since you all did it so well why don't you give my dumbass some tips?
    You could say what I suggested. Does that not qualify as a tip?
  • Thank you so much for all of your advice! Just what I needed :)
  • You're all right! I'm seriously a huge bitch and need to just let everyone do what they want. I didn't think so at first but if so many people agree then I need to chill out and let the wedding happen however it happens. I am high strung and will be promptly changing this. I apologize  for freaking out like such a freak.
  • You're all right! I'm seriously a huge bitch and need to just let everyone do what they want. I didn't think so at first but if so many people agree then I need to chill out and let the wedding happen however it happens. I am high strung and will be promptly changing this. I apologize  for freaking out like such a freak.
    You just need to focus on what's important for the day-- marrying your FI. Everything else is window dressing and not worth upsetting yourself or your loved ones. Let your aunt and SM be as comfortable possible by letting go of that part of your vision. It's not worth damaging relationships over.
  • For the record, the main reason of this posting was to see if normally the bridesmaids picked their own everything.now I know not to pick a
  • Jesus H. Christmascakes, kid. Way to fly off the handle, OP. No one was particularly concerned with you throwing a tantrum, but that's exactly what you did. Do like adk says. Have a drink, and then be at peace with the fact that how other people dress themselves is not your concern.

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  • I feel bad for your families if you are this judgemental in real life. Or maybe ya'll think you're hot shit because you're on some forum hahahaha
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2016
    If your outside wedding is so perfect, then why do your bridesmaids even need to wear boots?  I really don't understand this vision over guests comfort thing.  Will they need raincoats and umbrellas, too?
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  • edited February 2016
    I never said my wedding will be perfect, as that it unattainable. Of course there is a back up plan in case of rain. I've literally spent this whole post trying to explain I didn't want them to sink in grass because of heels. And as soon as she said no boots I said cool. How about answering my question, which is do the bridesmaids usually pick their own stuff? I've only been in one wedding and attended another so I didn't know if they chose their own normally, as we didn't get to. I just wanted to know. Damn. I'm sorry for not having all the answers...
  • I also never said I would be shoving them in something they didn't want to wear, which everyone ha been treating me as if I am.I know that the wedding is about the guests, not us, and I have tried to make sure of that the whole time, from the date to the reception venue. Can someone please tell me why I am being treated as if I am screaming at my wp and being rude to guests comfort? I think I've been doing a good job
    There is no cash anything, an open bar, plenty of space, and plenty of food will be provided. My registry is simple and I haven't even mentioned it to anyone in the first place unless asked. I am helping all guests with the hotels and even helping people figure out travel in general.  Until being treated this way I thought we were doing pretty good...
    Ps I didn't choose the outdoor ceremony. I didn't want anyone to twist an ankle or something, because they will be both in super high heels per their own request. 
  • I have kinda freaked. I just felt so attacked rather than helped. And that goes for in and out of this website. 
  • Did you miss the part where I said I know I kinda lost it for a second? Did you also miss the part that I was very passive about it when they said they wanted different things? Or did you cherry pick what was said before so you could say I'm crazy? 
  • No one said you were crazy, and no one attacked you.

    What they did say was that you flew off the handle on this thread, which even you admit you did...so I'm not quite sure what your fighting against?

    Since you know you overreacted, this is what you do as far as your bridesmaids go: call them up and tell them that what's important to you is that they're standing beside you for your wedding, not what shoes they are wearing, and that they should feel free to wear whatever makes them comfortable. And then you let this go.

    If you're unwilling to do that, I'm not sure what kind of advice you're asking for?


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