Found out I'm pregnant

Knottie84607857

My wedding venue has been booked for months, but I found out recently that I'm pregnant. The baby will be 3 months old at the time of the wedding. I'm trying to figure out when to try on dresses, how to afford a wedding AND a baby, and I'm planning my wedding from 800 miles away as we live in NYC but are getting married back home in Michigan. Any advice?

Also, a little unrelated, but we're getting married at this beautiful historic theater that's all dark red and gold curtains/carpets. I can't for the life of me think of a good bridesmaid dress color that will look good there!

Jen4948

Just plan what you can afford.  If you need to cut back your expenses, cut them back on things like decorations, centerpieces, etc. that aren't important to your guests' comfort.  Also, you can offer a limited or dry bar rather than a full open one if that's a consideration.

Edited to add: Congratulations on your pregnancy!

MissMidtown

For the dress colors- my brother was married in a very similar venue. It is best to compliment the colors, not to fight them. We were in a neutral-navy-and it complimented without looking to matchy matchy.

Congratulations! Good luck!

whoabethers

Congrats! You have lots of exciting things coming up! I'm getting married in an old theater too - sounds very similar. I'm going with navy to match the whole classic element. 

[Deleted User]

Knottie84607857 said:

My wedding venue has been booked for months, but I found out recently that I'm pregnant. The baby will be 3 months old at the time of the wedding. I'm trying to figure out when to try on dresses, how to afford a wedding AND a baby, and I'm planning my wedding from 800 miles away as we live in NYC but are getting married back home in Michigan. Any advice?

Also, a little unrelated, but we're getting married at this beautiful historic theater that's all dark red and gold curtains/carpets. I can't for the life of me think of a good bridesmaid dress color that will look good there!

Woohoo!  Babies! Congrats!

The ladies over on Attire and Accessories can probably help with when you should try on dresses.  I've lurked there occasionally and they seem to have a system for figuring things out.

As for affording everything, just make cuts where you can/want.  Head over to the Budget board for advice there.  Basically, the gist is, cut where you can.  For example, if you don't care about flowers, nix them entirely or or just have the bare essentials. 

You can do this.  It sounds like you have a very exciting year ahead of you.

SP29

Congrats!

RE: wedding- focus on what is important- you and your FI getting married, and hosting your guests well- the rest is gravy and can easily be done without (centerpieces, favours, decor, etc). 

The dress is a bit trickier, because you cannot guess what size you'll be. Perhaps try for buying off the rack a month or two before the wedding, and if that fails, consider a non "wedding" dress. 

tigerlily6

Congrats on your pregnancy!

PPs have covered it, I think. Biggest advice is don't let anybody or anything dictate what "must" work with wedding attire for you. Bridesmaids don't need all the same dresses, they can do mismatched. You can do any nice dress yourself, also -- it does not need to be a titled "wedding" dress (although, if you want one, that's fine too!). If you don't have a specific dress style in mind, you can probably wait to get a dress until after you give birth, and try to find one in a store that fits you. I found my dress in my size off the rack, and it needs only minimal alterations. It was cheaper to buy it in store, and I also knew it would fit me. I wasn't particularly set on any one style, though, so I think it depends on the bride. 

As for the rest of the wedding, as long as you have seats and food for guests, then you are good to go. If you have an early afternoon reception, food does not need to be more than snacks and refreshments. If the reception goes through the evening, you really should host a dinner, but you do not need to have alcohol or favors. The dinner can be buffet style if that saves some money. Flowers and decorations need not break the bank -- you can do them tastefully but without great expense. Feel free to browse and ask any specific questions on other board for details as to how to do this. 

OurWildKingdom

Can't add anything to what PPs have said, but congratulations!

MairePoppy

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

If you're looking to cut expenses - consider a dessert/finger foods reception. Have it mid afternoon - matinee or after 8pm.

I'd go with navy dresses or  LBDs. The bms can choose their own to keep things simple. 

MesmrEwe

Just as you'd plan a wedding without a baby - plan the wedding you can afford without going into debt!  There are only three things you need to get married - 1) Someone willing to marry you, 2) A license, and 3) Someone to officiate the ceremony/witness.  The rest is window dressing and gravy.  The moment you invite even one guest, you need to host them properly! 

When it comes to the dress - I'd budget/plan to purchase off the rack about a month or less before the wedding (long-line bra, shoes, crinoline, tiara/veil, etc..  Your body is going to have some major changes take place during your pregnancy and especially in the first two months post partum.  You WILL have a dress even if you wait until the week of your wedding, but the most important thing is to keep your expectations and budget in check.  Depending on when the baby's due, I'd recommend watching the Easter sales this year for a dress/suit for the LO to wear since they'll likely be in 3/6mo size at the time of the wedding...

TrixieJess

MesmrEwe said:

Just as you'd plan a wedding without a baby - plan the wedding you can afford without going into debt!  There are only three things you need to get married - 1) Someone willing to marry you, 2) A license, and 3) Someone to officiate the ceremony/witness.  The rest is window dressing and gravy.  The moment you invite even one guest, you need to host them properly! 

When it comes to the dress - I'd budget/plan to purchase off the rack about a month or less before the wedding (long-line bra, shoes, crinoline, tiara/veil, etc..  Your body is going to have some major changes take place during your pregnancy and especially in the first two months post partum.  You WILL have a dress even if you wait until the week of your wedding, but the most important thing is to keep your expectations and budget in check.  Depending on when the baby's due, I'd recommend watching the Easter sales this year for a dress/suit for the LO to wear since they'll likely be in 3/6mo size at the time of the wedding...

This isn't necessarily true, at 3 months, my son was is 9-12 month clothing. He was in the 90th percentile for height and was a super long baby. He was in 3 month clothing at the newborn stage.

Don't buy any formal baby clothes until you have the baby and know how it's growing, then see if you can get something on a mom-to-mom site or consignment store.

As for your dress, keep in mind that you may still be breastfeeding (if you choose to) or pumping and you may need something that gives you quick access to your breasts.

Congrats on everything!