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I just needed a place to rant.

It's funny how this post (http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1064401/guest-couple-does-not-want-to-attend-reception-but-just-ceremony-for-stupid-reason#latest) is relevant again, lol.

The person I was referring to in the post is the same person I will be ranting about, and how much you all were so right about her. Incoming word vomit!

Over the course of this weekend, she has terminated our friendship completely. It's been through the ringer, mostly on her end, because of her poisonous attitude. And boy, do I have a story for you, knotties.

She got overly angry about me mentioning that I was having a spa day with my bridesmaids, in addition to the one she opted to get for me as a wedding gift (she bought me a 50% off coupon for a massage in my local area). My one bridesmaid is a massage therapist, and offered to do this way before my friend (we will call her Stacy) decided to give this gift. So, she took it as an insult that she wasn't in my wedding (see previous post linked about for THAT drama, ugh) still and I have not made the right decision in choosing my wedding party. Note, she kicked me out of her wedding 3 years ago because I wasn't "good enough" by helping her with wedding planning or paying for the stuff she wanted me to. This girl gets angry over the smallest of details, and I already had a fall out with her years prior (which resulted in a 2 year period of not talking, followed by a heartfelt apology and rekindling). I thought she had grown up, and I was waaaaaaay wrong. 

She ripped me a new one, basically saying that we never had a "friendship," and that I was a terrible "good friend." Her reasoning? Because I never gave her anything in return for what she gave me. She gave me a numbered list on the things she has done for me and I have not done for her. She mentioned helping with the wedding (which she has NOT done at all because I never asked her help because of prior freak out about asking about recommending a good site to order invites, or whatever she used), serving us wine she had in her home, and even sending me a birthday card in the mail last year. Take note, she told me the wedding ordeal from years ago was behind her, etc etc, and yet she got upset anyways. She's "forever bitter her bridesmaids -sisters- had no helping hand in the wedding." Any who, I had NO IDEA friendship was based on keeping track of these things? I always, ALWAYS, said thank you, gave her money for said wine, paid for her dinners when we were out, asked how her days went, and so on. Ya know, like a normal friend does. She was not taking any apologies, or giving me any room, to speak. I just let her rant and rant, and fast forward to Sunday morning. She sends me this text,

"What I said yesterday was all out of anger, 100% was not true. I want you to prove to me that you value our friendship and you have to make it up to me, and you better, or else this is over. I will not talk, think, or even speak of you. You will be dead to me. Either you come and apologize to my face (driving 1 hour to meet halfway) or we are done. Your choice."

Excuse me, but...what?! I didn't even start the argument! Needless to say, I took things calmly and had taken the time to think about what I needed to say. I responded to her about how I don't appreciate the things she said, regardless if she said sorry, because the things she said really hurt my feelings. I don't think it is fair of you to hold this over our friendship over something so simply avoidable. And that I had no idea she felt this way, or she was holding all of that over me like it's a competition. She freaked the eff out, saying something along the lines of, "Fine. That's your loss. I can't believe you won't fight for this. This is the 3rd, and final, time. I will never, ever take you back as a friend, or even a person in existence. You do not exist to me. You're gone."

And then she felt the need to literally hold my FI's friendship with her above me, as if to taunt that she will still be around.

"I will remain in (FI) life because we have a special friendship, and it matters more than you do. Your BS is not worth losing him. I hope you have nightmares and are stressed by that, and I hope you feel like a complete and utter crap about it. I hope the fact that I am even still here bothers you."

I ran the whole situation by my FI, which he was well aware of because I showed him each message, along with her actually messaging HIM about it, lying to him about me. She even said, and I quote, "Can we just talk about how much your fiance sucks? Like, are you sure you want to marry her? I would NOT want to be stuck with her. Good luck with that. You're not needed at home today! You should come over and hang out, come join (her husband) and spend time with people you deserve."

Needless to say, blocked her number & facebook, along with multiple social media. He also blocked her number and facebook. The last text he got from her after all this before blocking her number said, "I guess we aren't friends anymore. It was great having you as a best friend, and I will miss all of this. I love you. Take care of yourself."

I feel like a weight has lifted, yet I got hit by a truck.
/steps off soapbox

Thanks for listening. This was just so stress-fully ridiculous. 

Re: I just needed a place to rant.

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    Well, sounds like she favourably removed herself from your life!
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    SP29 said:
    Well, sounds like she favourably removed herself from your life!
    I honestly think it was a blessing in disguise! Lol. That, or she was just waiting for the right moment to make a fuss.
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    I think you dodged a bullet

    dodge a bullet

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    kvruns said:

    I think you dodged a bullet

    dodge a bullet

    I think so, too.
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    I'd have told her that we needed to work past all of this and that you wanted to meet face to face.  Then almost an hour later text back that after thinking it through, you decided that you aren't a worthy enough person to be her friend.  Then block all communication, so you couldn't hear back from her.  A person like that deserves an hour car ride home.

    I don't know how you or your FI could NEVER call her on her shit.  If I were your FI, I'd plainly say that you just saw all of the texts she sent to you and hope you have a nice life in Crazyville.

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    Woah. All that can be said of this girl is:

                        


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    Holy shit, she sounds like she lost her damned mind! Good riddance.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    I'd have told her that we needed to work past all of this and that you wanted to meet face to face.  Then almost an hour later text back that after thinking it through, you decided that you aren't a worthy enough person to be her friend.  Then block all communication, so you couldn't hear back from her.  A person like that deserves an hour car ride home.

    I don't know how you or your FI could NEVER call her on her shit.  If I were your FI, I'd plainly say that you just saw all of the texts she sent to you and hope you have a nice life in Crazyville.

    I WISH I thought of that! That's brilliant. I honestly could not tell you how we both did. We were all younger when it happened, and I just thought it was immaturity at the time. Guess it was just crazy!
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    I loathe that high and mighty bullshit. I had a friend like that and my life is so much better now that she is NOT my friend. 

    Real friendships should never have to be "proven", IMHO. 
    ________________________________


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    Holy shit, she sounds like she lost her damned mind! Good riddance.
    Exactly.
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    I loathe that high and mighty bullshit. I had a friend like that and my life is so much better now that she is NOT my friend. 

    Real friendships should never have to be "proven", IMHO. 
    Say it louder for the people in the back!

    Seriously, though. I highly agree. If anyone has to prove their friendship, there is no real friendship there. It's just a mini competition. I feel much better as well. Stressed out and exhausted, but better.
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    I have a friend who I felt was being bossy, pushy and selfish. Instead of ghosting her, I tried to be honest and say we were incompatible as friends. We were supposed to go to a show together in a week but it got to the point where I couldn't even get myself to go. I told her to keep the money I paid for the tickets and take someone else.

    Three weeks later, I got a 3,000 word letter apologizing for taking so long to send it to me but here were all the reasons I was an awful friend. Yeah, I dodged a bullet by cutting that girl out of my life.

    As you know, you are so much better off without this woman. What a train wreck!!
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    seedabee said:
    I have a friend who I felt was being bossy, pushy and selfish. Instead of ghosting her, I tried to be honest and say we were incompatible as friends. We were supposed to go to a show together in a week but it got to the point where I couldn't even get myself to go. I told her to keep the money I paid for the tickets and take someone else.

    Three weeks later, I got a 3,000 word letter apologizing for taking so long to send it to me but here were all the reasons I was an awful friend. Yeah, I dodged a bullet by cutting that girl out of my life.

    As you know, you are so much better off without this woman. What a train wreck!!
    Oh, hell no!  I've written that letter.  I ranted and raved and "told" a friend why we'd never be friends again, why he was a horrible person.  I called up a second friend and read it to her.  Then I deleted the letter and never ever mailed it to the horrible friend.  Who does that???
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    Uhm, no. You don't need people like that in your life.

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