Friends on Guest List turned to Enemies...what to do?

zerostarzombie

See this post for background to this story/question -> http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1068868/i-just-needed-a-place-to-rant

Needless to say, I sent out invites about 2 weeks ago before this whole shit show went down over the course of this past weekend. We've all been friends for years prior. The girl and her husband already received the invite. I know she booked a hotel (I'm just hoping she cancels it) in the area. Knowing her, she would go out of her way to make us uncomfortable and come anyways, just to cause drama. Thankfully, she lives 2 hours away, and I am hoping that is enough to deter her from coming to the wedding.

Do you think I should worry about her and the husband coming? I really wish I would have waited another week to send invites now, lol. *sigh* I didn't see this coming, and neither did the fiance. 

Am I overreacting?

geebee908

No telling what she'll do, but if she meant what she said then she and her H shouldn't show up as you are "dead to her." But who really knows? You might be prepared to have her hauled out if she causes a scene, but if they're well behaved, just tell them thanks for coming and ignore them the rest of the time.

banana468

Considering she's quite the case, at this point all I think you can do is reach out to her husband to say, "Given the situation we think it's best that you not attend.   We are sorry that it's come to this."   Let's face it, you're not trying to salvage a relationship here.   You're just trying to avoid a scene.

Then I'd alert your venue that they're not welcome.

And if they show up, just know that they're the ones that look like fools. 

zerostarzombie

banana468 said:

Considering she's quite the case, at this point all I think you can do is reach out to her husband to say, "Given the situation we think it's best that you not attend.   We are sorry that it's come to this."   Let's face it, you're not trying to salvage a relationship here.   You're just trying to avoid a scene.

Then I'd alert your venue that they're not welcome.

And if they show up, just know that they're the ones that look like fools. 

I wish I could reach out to him, but he has blocked my facebook and number, I get a message that says my text cannot be delivered to this number. That's a good idea letting the venue know, though. I didn't think about that. Thank you!

ILoveBeachMusic

After reading the post in the link, I say uninvited them. Like @banana468 said, it isn't like you are trying to salvage a relationship. She is crazy nuts!

[Deleted User]

zerostarzombie said:

banana468 said:

Considering she's quite the case, at this point all I think you can do is reach out to her husband to say, "Given the situation we think it's best that you not attend.   We are sorry that it's come to this."   Let's face it, you're not trying to salvage a relationship here.   You're just trying to avoid a scene.

Then I'd alert your venue that they're not welcome.

And if they show up, just know that they're the ones that look like fools. 

I wish I could reach out to him, but he has blocked my facebook and number, I get a message that says my text cannot be delivered to this number. That's a good idea letting the venue know, though. I didn't think about that. Thank you!

Well, they shouldn't want to go to a dead person's wedding.  Since you're dead to them, and they realize they're no longer friends with your FI, the situation may have solved itself.  Thanks for the crazypants story.  It helps on a Monday.

SP29

Not much you can do besides tell the venue they are not welcome.

Do some of your other friends know what happened? Not that they should get involved, but should the crazy pants couple show up, your friends could alert the venue staff that is the couple that should be asked to leave.

Hopefully they won't show and it'll be worry over nothing.

thisismynickname2

Hate to say it, but a good friend of my husband's became an enemy right before our wedding as well. They had RSVP'd yes. They did not show up. If I recall, the guy saying, "Well maybe I shouldn't come to the wedding," and DH replying, "Maybe you shouldn't," was part of the conversation. We didn't turn in their number and preferred meal to the caterer. 

He also said he suspected that if the guy did show up, that his dad would haul is ass out personally. The guy knows his dad very well (used to work for him) so maybe that was part of the deterrent. 

I'm going to hazard a bet crazypants won't show up. It's up to you if you want to be a gracious host or have them removed if they do dare to show up. 

Jen4948

Giving a heads-up to your venue staff and having security available to escort out anyone who needs it, including those two, is about all you can do, but it's also the best way to handle the situation.  

Don't beat yourself up over it though.  Be happy for yourself and your FI and the people at your wedding who are there for you.

OliveOilsMom

First, can your FI attempt to call crazypant's H from a phone number other than a blocked one?  His work line, borrow someone's cell, etc. to let him know officially they are no longer invited?

Second, if you can't tell them over the phone, what about a short note mailed to their house. 

I know its really against etiquette to tell people they aren't invited, but I think you need to go this extra step due to the continued actions of the woman.

Lastly, give the venue a heads up about this couple.  Remove them from your count and have no seating cards for them.

zerostarzombie

Thank you to everyone for your replies and advice! I tolerated this for so long because it had never gotten to this point, but I could feel it would, I just never really had the time to properly address the issue to her, since she lives 2.5 hours from FI and myself. Thank you though, I appreciate all of the advice. I will remove them from the count and make sure friends know, as well as the venue, that they are not invited/welcomed.