Okay, well let me preface this by saying that obviously, other
posters are having worse weeks than I am, but I still really need to rant/vent
a little, so please bear with me.
Last Thursday I got a text from my mom that
my grandma apparently fell the previous Friday and hit her head. She was in the
hospital but decided she didn't want to worry anyone, so she lied to everyone.
My mom and aunt called her throughout the week (as per usual) and she acted like everything was
fine and she was out playing cards and whatever other things she does. She was
discharged from the hospital on Wednesday and sent to a rehab. However, the
rehab didn't take good care of her, and she ended up severely dehydrated and
with a UTI. When one of her friends went to visit her and noticed she was no
longer acting fine, she finally called my aunt to tell her what happened, who
then called my mom, etc. Everyone was thoroughly freaked out. My aunt took a
red eye flight down to Florida to see my grandma and assess the situation. She
demanded that the rehab send her back to the ER because she was so out of it,
and they spent the next day there. The hospital wouldn’t admit her and my aunt
refused to take her back to the rehab, so she decided to bring her home.
However, once she got her home, she realized she could not take care of my
grandma on her own but, because she is difficult and likes to be a martyr,
refused help. So my uncle called my mom and asked if she or one her kids could
fly down to Florida until Monday or Tuesday (this was Friday night) to help my
aunt get my grandma settled, basically without telling my aunt until after the
tickets were purchased. My mom contacted my brothers and me and I volunteered
to fly down.
I left first thing Saturday morning. I got there and saw what my
grandma was like, which was not great. We found out later that she had some
sort of cardiac episode (still unclear exactly what happened) and fell down
while shopping for cards (on a funny note, I later asked her who she was buying
cards for, and she said she was buying everyone's cards for the whole year,
which I found kind of hilarious. She even said she got get well cards in case
someone got sick.). She fell so dramatically that she fractured her skull and
had a brain bleed. As a result, she is unable to stay awake for long periods of
time. This waxes and wanes – on Sunday, she was awake and talking for a lot of
the day, but on Monday, she was so tired she had difficulty getting out of bed
and getting herself to the bathroom.
Overall, even when she is at her most
alert, she cannot take care of herself. She is wearing depends because she
sometimes does not have the strength or presence of mind to get to the
bathroom. At best, she can walk with a walker and support from another person.
This is a person who was previously living completely independently, so this is
relatively devastating both for her and our family.
Anyway, there has been a
lot of family drama about her long term care. My aunt and uncle have, let's
say, a lot more resources to help with her care, while my mom really does not
have resources at all, especially since my dad peaced out five years ago. I was
stuck in the middle of this, because my mom and I didn't agree with some of the
decisions my aunt was making about my grandma's care and how things were going,
and I was obviously communicating everything to my mom, who would then argue
with my aunt. Talk about awkward. In the end, I know we all want what's best
for my grandma, but it was hard, especially when my aunt kept making my mom feel guilty for not being down there with her (this is a common occurrence and, to be fair, both my aunt and my mom were down there just a couple weeks ago for a long weekend visit, so it's not like my mom doesn't visit).
I ended up staying until
Wednesday morning, and by the time I was leaving I felt like I was going to
explode if I had to listen to my aunt make one more inaccurate medical
assertion (she and my uncle are in the medical field, but not anything to do
with any of the problems my grandma has, but they still insisted they know
everything). Ultimately, she's decided to bring my grandma home with her,
assuming she can get her to the airport and on a plane Saturday morning.
Fingers crossed that occurs.
Ironically, FI and I have a trip schedule for a
week from Monday to go to Florida and visit her for a week. Now we will just be
in Florida for a week without her, which is odd. We are still going because FI
only has vacation time in blocks, so it's take a vacation now or not until our
honeymoon in October, plus warmth and beaches and such doesn't sound like the
worst thing.
On top of all that, my dad sent me a horribly obnoxious email
on Monday night. I have never really gotten into it about my dad on these
boards, but basically he's a narcisistc asshole who refuses to take
responsibility for himself and his actions. I was previously planning on just
inviting him as a guest, even though the thought made me uneasy, as he's a
douche and loves to get drunk, which is not a winning combination. Now I'm
pretty sure we're not inviting him at all. Honestly, I wanted that all along,
but I was afraid of backlash from my siblings (who do speak to him). But at
this point I just can't see us having him there. Apparently he also got into
some kind of fight with my mom's boyfriend over the weekend (who is essentially
my stepdad and with whom I'm relatively close), which also helps seal the deal –
I cannot have him fighting at the wedding.
So anyway, I realize this is all
just the ravings of a crazy person, but I'm back in the office today and
basically just want to yell a lot. Sorry for the rant. If you read this whole
thing, thanks a bunch. If you skipped to this part, I do not blame you.