Bridesmaid shoes

Cheermom84

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, if not I'm sorry.

FI and I very recently got engaged and our wedding is a year away. We have talked and bounced some ideas around about what we want but the only things set for the wedding are, the location we want to get married at, my MOH, my 2 daughters will be in the wedding party (they asked and we told them they can pick their roles they imidaitley picked BM and FG), that my mom will make my dress and my daughters dresses (she offered when we told her the news) and that we want it to be casual (FI wants to wear jeans and boots and have the groomsmen in jeans and boots which the names he are thinking about they all have boots.)

I am going to wear boots with my dress and my daughters want to wear boots as well. I have started looking at ideas for my bridesmaids and I like the idea of telling them to pick out a knee length cotton (or similar material) sundress in any color/designer/thrift store if they decide to cause that's their budget, and do the mismatched look. I also like the look with boots for them as well.

I would never ask them to buy boots(expensive for 1 time wear!), but I do know some of the people I am considering (my MOH is my best friend and I'm considering my 2 sisters to be the other BM's) do not have boots. Before I settle on this idea and ask people to be a BM and tell them the dress requirements I am wondering if I can ask them for their shoe size and find boots for them to borrow for the day? Is this a good option? From what I have seen on the boards its not ok to require them to buy shoes and if I want a specific shoe I need to purchase them but I hate the idea of perfectly good boots just collecting dust in their closet until they get donated to goodwill, plus the expense for me to purchase those boots.... So I thought of this idea of borrowing them from my family for the day. I'm just wondering if this is crazy or a good solution. 

MobKaz

Cheermom84 said:

I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, if not I'm sorry.

FI and I very recently got engaged and our wedding is a year away. We have talked and bounced some ideas around about what we want but the only things set for the wedding are, the location we want to get married at, my MOH, my 2 daughters will be in the wedding party (they asked and we told them they can pick their roles they imidaitley picked BM and FG), that my mom will make my dress and my daughters dresses (she offered when we told her the news) and that we want it to be casual (FI wants to wear jeans and boots and have the groomsmen in jeans and boots which the names he are thinking about they all have boots.)

I am going to wear boots with my dress and my daughters want to wear boots as well. I have started looking at ideas for my bridesmaids and I like the idea of telling them to pick out a knee length cotton (or similar material) sundress in any color/designer/thrift store if they decide to cause that's their budget, and do the mismatched look. I also like the look with boots for them as well.

I would never ask them to buy boots(expensive for 1 time wear!), but I do know some of the people I am considering (my MOH is my best friend and I'm considering my 2 sisters to be the other BM's) do not have boots. Before I settle on this idea and ask people to be a BM and tell them the dress requirements I am wondering if I can ask them for their shoe size and find boots for them to borrow for the day? Is this a good option? From what I have seen on the boards its not ok to require them to buy shoes and if I want a specific shoe I need to purchase them but I hate the idea of perfectly good boots just collecting dust in their closet until they get donated to goodwill, plus the expense for me to purchase those boots.... So I thought of this idea of borrowing them from my family for the day. I'm just wondering if this is crazy or a good solution. 

I would have ZERO interest in wearing someone else's shoes or boots.  The thought of that is extremely unappealing.

It sounds as if many people in your area are accustomed to having boots as a staple.  If your MOH and sisters have gotten this far in life without having a pair, whether it be an issue of comfort or fashion, it seems clear that they have no desire to wear them for your wedding, even if free. 

It sounds as if you have read the boards regarding shoes and bridal parties.  You have read correctly that if you insist on specific shoes, then the burden of the cost is yours.  I encourage you to keep reading the shoe posts, and find the ones that make it CLEAR that the entire shoe issue is a non-issue.  Let your bridal party wear their own comfortable shoes.

artbyallie

I would feel so awkward and unattractive wearing boots (especially cowboy boots) with a summer dress. And sweaty/too warm, probably, because boots without socks are just gross.

Please, please let them choose their own shoes.

RomanceManaged

I get the vision aspect, I really do. There is something so appealing about pretty pictures with everyone matchy matchy, however I absolutely don't like the boot look for weddings. I don't know why its a thing. I come from backwoods Michigan country and our boots are for hard labor. If someone asked me to wear my boots, covered in dirt, poop and other such nasties I would think they were crazy. They aren't something I would wear to church, let alone a wedding.

Further, I have the WORST smelling feet in the world. No joke. Add foot sweat and aforementioned nasties and you have one hell of a problem.

And what if someone had a foot fungi ? That nonsense is getting passed around. For sure.

If you really want a sense of uniformity tell them to pick a shoe in a certain color. Heels, flats, wedges, whatever, in black. But as PP's said, it really isn't an issue. No one is going to be watching them go down the aisle and think "BM #1 has blue flats and BM#3 has HEELS! THE HORROR!"

Cheermom84

Thanks for the advice I needed to voice the idea to realize I need to either buy their boots or let them wear whatever shoes they want. I guess if I go this route I will offer to either buy them some or they can wear what they want. 

@artbyallie I'm a little confused by your comment.....yes wearing boots without socks is gross but I didn't say anything about them not wearing socks. I actually don't even know how to respond to that since the people I know would be smart enough to wear socks, but hey maybe there are people who would need to be told this in some regions of the world.

artbyallie

Cheermom84 said:

Thanks for the advice I needed to voice the idea to realize I need to either buy their boots or let them wear whatever shoes they want. I guess if I go this route I will offer to either buy them some or they can wear what they want. 

@artbyallie I'm a little confused by your comment.....yes wearing boots without socks is gross but I didn't say anything about them not wearing socks. I actually don't even know how to respond to that since the people I know would be smart enough to wear socks, but hey maybe there are people who would need to be told this in some regions of the world.

I do know people who wear boots without socks, lol. Especially in summer. Equally, though, I would be really uncomfortable wearing socks in summer. I live in sandals/open-toe shoes once it gets warm.

climbingsingle

There is no way I'd ever want to borrow someone's boots. Why would I want to put my foot into something that someone else's sweaty foot has been in? No thanks. 

If you're so set on this, you need to pay for the boots for the people that don't have them. 

lembaslover

Yea I want to echo PPs and say I would not be comfortable wearing someone else's shoes. I also wouldn't want you to spend money on shoes I'd never wear again. I can't tell you what shoes my BMs wore, I really don't think you'll notice/care day of.

kvruns

Ditto on not borrowing boots and just letting people wear whatever shoes they want. I'm not a germaphone and could handle it but I have some friends (and my H for sure) that would definitely not be ok with borrowing or lending shoes/boots

[Deleted User]

Just let them wear a pair of shoes they already own that live in their closet.  Everyone will be more comfortable, and if they're comfortable, they'll look prettier in the photos.  A huge smile will be much more important years from now than their footwear.

banana468

I don't even like to wear bowling shoes and I wear those with thick socks.

drunkenwitch

Name what type of shoes (color and style) the bridesmaids were wearing at the last wedding you attended.

I'll wait....

No one will be looking at your bridesmaid's feet, just let them wear whatever shoes they are comfortable in.

lembaslover

banana468 said:

I don't even like to wear bowling shoes and I wear those with thick socks.

When DH and I were in a bowling league getting our own shoes was a must... I could barely stomach it for occasional bowling (like 2X a year) so 12 weeks of those shoes was not going to happen! 

InLoveInQueens

drunkenwitch said:

Name what type of shoes (color and style) the bridesmaids were wearing at the last wedding you attended.

I'll wait....

No one will be looking at your bridesmaid's feet, just let them wear whatever shoes they are comfortable in.

I did notice at one wedding everyone was in cowboy boots, but that's because the couple was from a suburb of NYC and never stepped foot on a farm/probably rode a horse one time at camp.

Other than that the only reason I've noticed footwear was because the bride shoved her foot in my face trying to show off her shoes.

TrixieJess

Please don't. Personally I have feet that are difficult to fit even though I'm a very common size and I cannot wear Cowboy boots. I wouldn't want to wear someone else's boots/shoes.

Let your maids wear what they would normally wear with a dress.

SP29

I think you can let the people in your WP know that you and your daughters will be wearing your cowboy boots, but ultimately let them wear whatever neutral shoe they want.

Cowboy boots are not cheap (as you know)- I don't think it is money well spent for you, nor is it worth it. I don't think it will look weird if some people wear cowboy boots and others don't.

Cheermom84

Thanks everyone, as we start planning I don't want to turn into a crazy person and needed to bounce the idea to see how it sounded outside my head. It turns out it will be a non issue anyway. I was talk to my best friend, my MOH, and she was asking about wedding plans. So I told her me and my daughters will wear boots and then we started talking about some of the ideas I had seen for the wedding party. MOH told me she has boots and if we are wearing them she will to. She was the only one I thought didn't have them but it turns out a wedding she was in the bride made them buy boots to wear and she still has them just hasn't ever worn them. When we pick the rest of the wedding party I will just let them know we are wearing boots if they want to wear there's but it's optitional.

MobKaz

Cheermom84 said:

Thanks everyone, as we start planning I don't want to turn into a crazy person and needed to bounce the idea to see how it sounded outside my head. It turns out it will be a non issue anyway. I was talk to my best friend, my MOH, and she was asking about wedding plans. So I told her me and my daughters will wear boots and then we started talking about some of the ideas I had seen for the wedding party. MOH told me she has boots and if we are wearing them she will to. She was the only one I thought didn't have them but it turns out a wedding she was in the bride made them buy boots to wear and she still has them just hasn't ever worn them. When we pick the rest of the wedding party I will just let them know we are wearing boots if they want to wear there's but it's optitional.

Your MOH was already guilted/pressured into buying something she dislikes.  The fact that she has NEVER worn them is a clear indication that she hates them.  If you truly  want your wedding party to feel as if boots are optional, do not even mention that others are wearing boots.  It will only make them feel pressured to conform to the look". 

JediElizabeth

MobKaz said:

Cheermom84 said:

Thanks everyone, as we start planning I don't want to turn into a crazy person and needed to bounce the idea to see how it sounded outside my head. It turns out it will be a non issue anyway. I was talk to my best friend, my MOH, and she was asking about wedding plans. So I told her me and my daughters will wear boots and then we started talking about some of the ideas I had seen for the wedding party. MOH told me she has boots and if we are wearing them she will to. She was the only one I thought didn't have them but it turns out a wedding she was in the bride made them buy boots to wear and she still has them just hasn't ever worn them. When we pick the rest of the wedding party I will just let them know we are wearing boots if they want to wear there's but it's optitional.

Your MOH was already guilted/pressured into buying something she dislikes.  The fact that she has NEVER worn them is a clear indication that she hates them.  If you truly  want your wedding party to feel as if boots are optional, do not even mention that others are wearing boots.  It will only make them feel pressured to conform to the look". 

I don't think this is a big deal. Likely, at least one BM will ask about shoes, and OP can tell them some people are wearing boots, but they can wear whatever they're comfortable in. If a bride told me "MOH & I are wearing boots, but you can wear whatever you feel comfortable in," I'd probably bring a pair of heels and a paid of boots to get ready and see what everyone else is doing. I think for the most part, if some people know there's an optional plan, everyone should.

Besides, they're probably all adults and don't need to be treated with kid gloves. If they interpret "optional" as "must," they should probably work on how they handle open communication.

(That said, I'd probably wear heels anyway, or change into them for the reception, as long as I wasn't the only one. I can dance all night in heels. Boots, however, generally feel too heavy and hot for me.)

Cheermom84

MOH asked what my daughters and I are going to wear and I told her we will be wearing boots but I know you probably don't have them so you can wear whatever shoes you want. MOH then told me she did have a pair she had to buy for a different wedding and that she would probably wear them since we were wearing boots and she wanted to get another wear out of the ones she bought. 

We won't be having dancing, we are doing an early ceremony with a brunch reception. It was more important to us to invite all our family and friends then have a DJ and dancing. Plus we don't really like to dance and wanted to take the pressure of us doing the traditional dances.