so someone on the internet wants to do a housewarming gift registry WITHOUT a housewarming party

Gwendolyn1986

Original post: 

"If my husband and I didn’t do a gift registry for our wedding, is it appropriate to do an online “houswarming party”? My husband moved to Alaska for the Air Force a month ago, and I’m in Texas finishing up my Bachelor’s degree. I move up in May, and we just bought our first house a couple of weeks ago. We don’t have much as my husband was living in a hotel to find us a home, and I plan on getting rid of the majority of my things to fly out to AK, so we don’t have a lot to our name. We didn’t ask for gifts when we got married because we have always been long distance and didn’t find it appropriate to ask for gifts at the time. Now that we have our first house, is it inappropriate to ask for items, just like a wedding registry? TIA!"

and it was clarified in the comments that there would be no actual party, just an online housewarming gift registry. 

geebee908

I'm sure they received gifts of cash when they got married if they didn't have a registry. Why on earth would anyone think it's okay to ask people to buy household items off a registry now, especially without a party? Some people can't buy a clue.

SP29

Oh geez.

No, it's called being an adult. People move all the time and have to figure out either how to move or sell and buy their furniture/household wares.

KnickerGold

I'm moving in a few weeks, but getting married in October... can I have two registries?! And when I move again, can I have a registry then too? Oh and I'm currently out of the country for 5 weeks, can I register for food when I get back?
Oy.

LondonLisa

I'm going on holiday in a few weeks and I don't want to pay for checked luggage. So could everyone who didn't buy me a birthday present look at my registry for bikinis, sun cream, toothbrushes and other essentials I can't be arsed to pack? 

glasgowtolondon

@KnickerGold @LondonLisa

Sure, send me your links. I'll need a good sob story first though!

LondonLisa

glasgowtolondon said:

@KnickerGold @LondonLisa

Sure, send me your links. I'll need a good sob story first though!

My life is so hard. I wanted to go to Mauritius but I had to settle for Sardinia. I was so magnanimous that I didn't even demand birthday presents, so everyone now owes me my holiday registry. Even though I own all of these things, I will ruin my manicure by carrying a suitcase. Therefore, I am registering to amazon prime everything so all I have to carry is my passport. Even though I can afford to go on this holiday, it isn't my fault that I can't afford to buy all new bikinis. I know I should have thought about this beforehand, and maybe downsized my holiday and taken these expenses into consideration, but why would I do that when I can beg others to pay for me? Adulting is hard.

Don't I deserve this? I'm a mole woman


(In all seriousness, I can't seem to get pink or comic sans now...)

kimmiinthemitten

I hope someone ships her a pacifier and some desitin, since she's acting like a baby. 

glasgowtolondon

LondonLisa said:

glasgowtolondon said:

@KnickerGold @LondonLisa

Sure, send me your links. I'll need a good sob story first though!

My life is so hard. I wanted to go to Mauritius but I had to settle for Sardinia. I was so magnanimous that I didn't even demand birthday presents, so everyone now owes me my holiday registry. Even though I own all of these things, I will ruin my manicure by carrying a suitcase. Therefore, I am registering to amazon prime everything so all I have to carry is my passport. Even though I can afford to go on this holiday, it isn't my fault that I can't afford to buy all new bikinis. I know I should have thought about this beforehand, and maybe downsized my holiday and taken these expenses into consideration, but why would I do that when I can beg others to pay for me? Adulting is hard.

Don't I deserve this? I'm a mole woman


(In all seriousness, I can't seem to get pink or comic sans now...)

Child, I had no idea you were facing this. You are #sobrave

Thoughts and prayers to you.

downtondiva

Too bad she can't register for some manners.

glasgowtolondon

downtondiva said:

Too bad she can't register for some manners.

Lol!

InLoveInQueens

I don't think OP even understands what a housewarming party is, people bring a bottle of wine or a cake to celebrate or something, what kind of stuff is she expecting? You're a grown ass adult, if you're adult enough to get married and buy a house you're adult enough to furnish it without begging for shit online from friends and family.

[Deleted User]

InLoveInQueens said:

I don't think OP even understands what a housewarming party is, people bring a bottle of wine or a cake to celebrate or something, what kind of stuff is she expecting? You're a grown ass adult, if you're adult enough to get married and buy a house you're adult enough to furnish it without begging for shit online from friends and family.

But adulting is expensive!  And while we're all against socialism when it means that we need to give some of our money to help others, when it means we can get some stuff for ourselves, we're all over it.  So everyone should help.  Because they love her.  Because they want her to start her new life in Alaska with pretty plates and towels.

JaxInBlue

InLoveInQueens said:

I don't think OP even understands what a housewarming party is, people bring a bottle of wine or a cake to celebrate or something, what kind of stuff is she expecting? You're a grown ass adult, if you're adult enough to get married and buy a house you're adult enough to furnish it without begging for shit online from friends and family.

Totally this.  I give you wine, maybe liquor.  If I'm nice enough to help you move you get enough wine to share with me when we're done plus a cute gift bag with a couple of rolls of TP and paper towels, a bottle of hand soap, and a bottle of multi-purpose cleaner because inevitably in moving you either run out of one of those things or there's more need than unpacked quantity.

ShesSoCold

A friend of mine registered for her housewarming party. Even her family thought is was gross.

TrixieJess

ShesSoCold said:

A friend of mine registered for her housewarming party. Even her family thought is was gross.

If you can register at the Liquor Store, then that's okay right?  

ShesSoCold

TrixieJess said:

ShesSoCold said:

A friend of mine registered for her housewarming party. Even her family thought is was gross.

If you can register at the Liquor Store, then that's okay right?  

If I can register at the liquor store, I'm having a re-do.

MandyMost

I think the fundamental misunderstanding is the purpose of a registry--you set up a registry when you know people are going to buy you presents, and you want to give them ideas of what you want. It's not ASKING for presents. The only way anyone should ever know you have a registry for anything is if they are looking to buy you a gift, and investigate if you have a registry.

Since she's not having a party, why is she expecting gifts?! And even if she was having a party, she shouldn't be expecting major gifts that requiring registering for!

InLoveInQueens

MandyMost said:

Since she's not having a party, why is she expecting gifts?! And even if she was having a party, she shouldn't be expecting major gifts that requiring registering for!

Because didn't you know, her life is so hard and she didn't ask for wedding presents, that means she gets a rain check and get ask for presents for one other occasion of her choosing. It's like you didn't even read the fine print!

thisismynickname2

MandyMost said:

I think the fundamental misunderstanding is the purpose of a registry--you set up a registry when you know people are going to buy you presents, and you want to give them ideas of what you want. It's not ASKING for presents. The only way anyone should ever know you have a registry for anything is if they are looking to buy you a gift, and investigate if you have a registry.

Since she's not having a party, why is she expecting gifts?! And even if she was having a party, she shouldn't be expecting major gifts that requiring registering for!

To the bolded. Fun fact, for awhile, I actually had a "single girl's registry" (aka Amazon Wish List) that ONLY my parents and sister had access to. This enabled them to buy me nice home goods for birthdays and Christmases like a cheese plate set, coffee maker, blender, and place settings.  
To this day Christmas is basically one large family exchange of Amazon Wist Lists and my shopping is done in 5 minutes. 

Am I setting up a registry for when DH and I move into our new home at the end of next month? HELL NO. When we bought a bigger place, we created a furniture budget too because that's what being fiscally responsible means. 

kylexo

thisismynickname said:

MandyMost said:

I think the fundamental misunderstanding is the purpose of a registry--you set up a registry when you know people are going to buy you presents, and you want to give them ideas of what you want. It's not ASKING for presents. The only way anyone should ever know you have a registry for anything is if they are looking to buy you a gift, and investigate if you have a registry.

Since she's not having a party, why is she expecting gifts?! And even if she was having a party, she shouldn't be expecting major gifts that requiring registering for!

To the bolded. Fun fact, for awhile, I actually had a "single girl's registry" (aka Amazon Wish List) that ONLY my parents and sister had access to. This enabled them to buy me nice home goods for birthdays and Christmases like a cheese plate set, coffee maker, blender, and place settings.  
To this day Christmas is basically one large family exchange of Amazon Wist Lists and my shopping is done in 5 minutes. 

Am I setting up a registry for when DH and I move into our new home at the end of next month? HELL NO. When we bought a bigger place, we created a furniture budget too because that's what being fiscally responsible means. 

I have one of these too and it's prevented me from returning every single thing my well intentioned but clueless mom buys me for Christmas. For the first time ever, not only did I get a bunch of awesome stuff, but I didn't need to return anything from my mom. I don't know why, but for some reason it's taken her 29 years to understand that she and I don't have the same taste in clothes and I don't need a pink cable knit sweater from Talbot's, I want a book.

ThxSugar

Setting up an amazon wishlist and sharing it with FH has saved him hours, maybe minutes, of anguish as he tries to figure out what I want. He gets to surprise me with gifts and I get the car seat covers I forgot I wanted but am so happy to have. 

Etf word

[Deleted User]

kylexo said:

thisismynickname said:

MandyMost said:

I think the fundamental misunderstanding is the purpose of a registry--you set up a registry when you know people are going to buy you presents, and you want to give them ideas of what you want. It's not ASKING for presents. The only way anyone should ever know you have a registry for anything is if they are looking to buy you a gift, and investigate if you have a registry.

Since she's not having a party, why is she expecting gifts?! And even if she was having a party, she shouldn't be expecting major gifts that requiring registering for!

To the bolded. Fun fact, for awhile, I actually had a "single girl's registry" (aka Amazon Wish List) that ONLY my parents and sister had access to. This enabled them to buy me nice home goods for birthdays and Christmases like a cheese plate set, coffee maker, blender, and place settings.  
To this day Christmas is basically one large family exchange of Amazon Wist Lists and my shopping is done in 5 minutes. 

Am I setting up a registry for when DH and I move into our new home at the end of next month? HELL NO. When we bought a bigger place, we created a furniture budget too because that's what being fiscally responsible means. 

I have one of these too and it's prevented me from returning every single thing my well intentioned but clueless mom buys me for Christmas. For the first time ever, not only did I get a bunch of awesome stuff, but I didn't need to return anything from my mom. I don't know why, but for some reason it's taken her 29 years to understand that she and I don't have the same taste in clothes and I don't need a pink cable knit sweater from Talbot's, I want a book.

It's funny because it's true.

Heffalump

adk19 said:

kylexo said:

thisismynickname said:

MandyMost said:

I think the fundamental misunderstanding is the purpose of a registry--you set up a registry when you know people are going to buy you presents, and you want to give them ideas of what you want. It's not ASKING for presents. The only way anyone should ever know you have a registry for anything is if they are looking to buy you a gift, and investigate if you have a registry.

Since she's not having a party, why is she expecting gifts?! And even if she was having a party, she shouldn't be expecting major gifts that requiring registering for!

To the bolded. Fun fact, for awhile, I actually had a "single girl's registry" (aka Amazon Wish List) that ONLY my parents and sister had access to. This enabled them to buy me nice home goods for birthdays and Christmases like a cheese plate set, coffee maker, blender, and place settings.  
To this day Christmas is basically one large family exchange of Amazon Wist Lists and my shopping is done in 5 minutes. 

Am I setting up a registry for when DH and I move into our new home at the end of next month? HELL NO. When we bought a bigger place, we created a furniture budget too because that's what being fiscally responsible means. 

I have one of these too and it's prevented me from returning every single thing my well intentioned but clueless mom buys me for Christmas. For the first time ever, not only did I get a bunch of awesome stuff, but I didn't need to return anything from my mom. I don't know why, but for some reason it's taken her 29 years to understand that she and I don't have the same taste in clothes and I don't need a pink cable knit sweater from Talbot's, I want a book.

It's funny because it's true.

::shoves pink cable knit sweater from Talbots to back of closet::



But yes, seriously, Amazon.  When DH and I were first married, his dad's wife was adamant about these:  she said she would only buy things off an Amazon list so could we get them set up, like, yesterday please?  We were confused (and frankly, a little put off), but it has worked so well that we use them for everything.  I made a whole separate list for suggestions for DH--anytime he says "Why don't I have any gray ties?" or "I think my hiking boots are starting to wear out," whoosh, I update his list.  The kids get clothes that fit and toys that are age-appropriate (and that don't make obnoxious noises).

SP29

I think registries are awesome. Thinking I should set one up for Christmas. My parents always ask, 'What do you want?" And I usually say, "I dunno".

It's knowing when to use registries appropriately- as in you don't put them in a media blast.

ILoveBeachMusic

I think registries/wish list are great, but as @SP29 said, not in a media blast or even telling friends. I have a list at a store that carries particular dishes I collect. My Dad and stepmother would give me dishes for Christmas every year. Neither of us live in the city where the store is. It is very easy for her to go online and see what pieces I would still like to have. Win win. BTW, my husband didn't even know I had that list! 

Gwendolyn1986

also to clarify, just in case you are wondering if it could get any worse, the OP said she would be having the registry for an 'online party' instead of an actual party. i still can't figure out what an online party is! is it SIMS? Is it World of Warcraft? all the goblins or whatever get together and tour a virtual house?