Reception Dress Change?

justsuzie

Here's the story...

I purchased a beautiful floral ball gown that I love.  It is quite heavy but my venue has AC so I thought it was an okay idea.  Then, last week I broke my ankle which needed surgery, screws, and a plate.  I will be on my feet and out of a boot/cast at the time of my wedding, but still going through physical therapy and will not be at 100%.  My wedding is in June but this was  a multiple fracture in a spot that I had previously fractured years back so recovery time is really unknown until I get the cast off and begin PT in a 6-8 weeks.

I am wondering if my dress will be too heavy to endure for the entire night with the recovering ankle injury.  My Dr said that we really won't know if it will be a problem until about 2 months out.  He said I might be hurting by the end of the night solely due to the ankle alone.  Or, I might be fine!  I was thinking about purchasing a short reception dress to have if I need to go that route.

Are reception dresses tacky?  I found one that I love from BHLDN.  Or, should I sell my original heavy dress and buy another one that is lighter that I can wear the entire night.  (I don't even know if dancing will be an option depending on the healing process.)  Lastly, should I wait until a month before the wedding to make the call before I do anything so I can see what progress I've made with recovery?  What would you do given all the unknowns? I've got the big-girl panties on, so throw your ideas at me.

...

spatulahands

I think it's tacky when brides change dresses because "LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY I CAN THROW AROUND" or "I CAN NEVER BE SEEN IN THE SAME DRESS TWICE ZOMG" but in your situation, where it's a matter of practicality, I think you should be fine.  If the second dress fits in your budget, I'd go ahead and get it now, but that could just be me- I'm the type of person who *hates* leaving things till the last minute.  Definitely don't sell your first dress if you love it, unless you think that your ankle won't be able to handle the weight for even the length of the ceremony!

Sorry about your ankle...hopefully you recover fully and swiftly!

JediElizabeth

 I personally think they're tacky & a waste of money if you're going from a princess dress to a super expensive, slutty party dress because you want to show off, but that's not what's happening here at all. You'll be taking care of yourself by buying a lighter dress. 

I think you should definitely get a second dress. It works be way worse to need it and not have it than to have it and not use it. No one should side eye you for making sure your recovery is smooth and as painless as possible. 

AddieCake

Normally I don't see the point, but it makes sense in your case.

spatulahands

justsuzie said:

 I've got the big-girl panties on, so throw your ideas at me.

...

I love how the people who prepare themselves for snark are always the ones who are asking wholly reasonable things, and deserve nothing but love back.

charlotte989875

I also usually side eye a dress change, but this is the case where you won't really know until closer to the wedding how you're going to feel. If it were me I'd have a backup dress in case you can only stand the ball gown for the ceremony. If the second dress is one you wouldn't need alterations on you could always have it at the venture of you need/want to change but if you feel good in the big dress return the second? I wouldn't buy a second until closer to the date to be sure I could return it of it wasn't needed. 

justsuzie

charlotte989875 said:

I also usually side eye a dress change, but this is the case where you won't really know until closer to the wedding how you're going to feel. If it were me I'd have a backup dress in case you can only stand the ball gown for the ceremony. If the second dress is one you wouldn't need alterations on you could always have it at the venture of you need/want to change but if you feel good in the big dress return the second? I wouldn't buy a second until closer to the date to be sure I could return it of it wasn't needed. 

Oh, never even thought of keeping the tags on and returning it if I don't use it. Great idea!  

banana468

I've only seen one dress change at a wedding I attended.   I do think it's a bit AW ish but I can understand the desire to have something less heavy.   And AW ish isn't necessarily an awful thing.

As long as the dress change isn't affecting your ability to host I don't care.   At the wedding I attended with a dress change, the couple went all out with their hosting down to a second dessert and fabric totes that served as the welcome bags.   If you did an AWish dress change and I had to pay for my alcohol then I'd give you major side eye. 

scrunchythief

I agree that if a dress change works for you, go for it, especially in your case!

Another option, you could talk to a seamstress about your original dress to see if there's anything you could do to lighten it.  Like hoops vs crinoline or something.  

justsuzie

scrunchythief said:

I agree that if a dress change works for you, go for it, especially in your case!

Another option, you could talk to a seamstress about your original dress to see if there's anything you could do to lighten it.  Like hoops vs crinoline or something.  

And this is exactly why I asked this question.  Never would have thought of that! I wonder if taking all the "poof" out will lighten it up.

banana468 Plenty of food, plenty of free booze, dessert choice, and room for all.   We  did have a small budget but budgeted for the important things.  A couple quick sales on ebay has payed for the reception dress, which I also purchased on ebay.  It's crazy how cheap people resell wedding/reception dresses.  I got a beauty for 49.99 that is a BHLDN originally for 370.  At least I am having some luck lately!

kvruns

one advantage to the ball gown might be being able to wear a brace for additional support and not have it showing if that would help lessen the pain during the reception. 

Im in a boot right now and I feel your pain. It wears me out even though it isn't that much extra weight 

justsuzie

kvruns said:

one advantage to the ball gown might be being able to wear a brace for additional support and not have it showing if that would help lessen the pain during the reception. 

Im in a boot right now and I feel your pain. It wears me out even though it isn't that much extra weight 

When is your wedding?  Hope you'll be able to walk by then.  I get my boot in 2 weeks. I have never been so excited for ugly footwear! That us an excellent call with the brace.  Now I have so many options.  Thanks!

kvruns

justsuzie said:

kvruns said:

one advantage to the ball gown might be being able to wear a brace for additional support and not have it showing if that would help lessen the pain during the reception. 

Im in a boot right now and I feel your pain. It wears me out even though it isn't that much extra weight 

When is your wedding?  Hope you'll be able to walk by then.  I get my boot in 2 weeks. I have never been so excited for ugly footwear! That us an excellent call with the brace.  Now I have so many options.  Thanks!

my wedding was last year so I'm good   I'm only in mine for 4 weeks for a very mild fracture, more as a preventive measure because the Dr. couldn't figure out what was causing my pain (fracture doesn't show up on x-ray). Biggest challenge is finding things I can wear with it w/o feeling off kilter with shoe heights that don't match the boot height.

southernbelle0915

I don't know why people give a shit whether someone changes their clothes before the reception. I've been to two weddings where this was done and it was NBD.

One was my sister's - she wore a knee length, white-ish spring dress she already owned for the ceremony and spent her money on a party dress for the reception. Hardly "AWish".

The other was an Indian wedding - the bride's ceremony dress was an extremely heavy, traditional Indian wedding dress. It was beautiful, but she said there's no way she could have danced in it. Her husband also changed out of his traditional clothes. Again, hardly AWish.

thisismynickname2

southernbelle0915 said:

I don't know why people give a shit whether someone changes their clothes before the reception. I've been to two weddings where this was done and it was NBD.

One was my sister's - she wore a knee length, white-ish spring dress she already owned for the ceremony and spent her money on a party dress for the reception. Hardly "AWish".

The other was an Indian wedding - the bride's ceremony dress was an extremely heavy, traditional Indian wedding dress. It was beautiful, but she said there's no way she could have danced in it. Her husband also changed out of his traditional clothes. Again, hardly AWish.

Eh... I think it's all about the context. I think it was mentioned that if someone had a cash bar and two expensive dresses, that's just shitty. Or if you're that concerned about dancing (not withstanding cultural things like the Indian attire), why get the huge-ass ballgown to begin with. 
We already pay boatloads of money for one-time-wear outfits, and most of us get, what, 6 hours of guest-facing time in that dress? So to cut it down to 2 or 3 hours seems even more wasteful. 

I've never seen it done. As long as the dress isn't at the expense of hosting well, I wouldn't care.  And OP definitely has a concern that makes a second, light dress very logical. 

GlamQueenBride

Agree with @southernbelle. No one's business what you change into. If someone can afford two dresses and wants to wear two dresses, who cares? It's not any more wasteful than spending hundreds of dollars on makeup or thousands on flowers for a party.

And FYI, a cash bar is ALWAYS tacky. It doesn't magically become tacky because someone has two dresses and a bad host doesn't become a bad host because she owns two dresses.

southernbelle0915

thisismynickname said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I don't know why people give a shit whether someone changes their clothes before the reception. I've been to two weddings where this was done and it was NBD.

One was my sister's - she wore a knee length, white-ish spring dress she already owned for the ceremony and spent her money on a party dress for the reception. Hardly "AWish".

The other was an Indian wedding - the bride's ceremony dress was an extremely heavy, traditional Indian wedding dress. It was beautiful, but she said there's no way she could have danced in it. Her husband also changed out of his traditional clothes. Again, hardly AWish.

Eh... I think it's all about the context. I think it was mentioned that if someone had a cash bar and two expensive dresses, that's just shitty. Or if you're that concerned about dancing (not withstanding cultural things like the Indian attire), why get the huge-ass ballgown to begin with. 
We already pay boatloads of money for one-time-wear outfits, and most of us get, what, 6 hours of guest-facing time in that dress? So to cut it down to 2 or 3 hours seems even more wasteful. 

I've never seen it done. As long as the dress isn't at the expense of hosting well, I wouldn't care.  And OP definitely has a concern that makes a second, light dress very logical. 

If someone has a cash bar, I'm judging the shit out of EVERYTHING at their wedding.

But a lot of the reasons I see on here are simply that people judge because it's "AWish". So someone decides they want two dresses? Ok. Someone else wants a limo. Someone else wants 3 flavors of cake (who doesn't?). Someone else wants their wedding in Vegas. It's all relative - everything could be considered AWish by somebody. 

So I'm with you thisismynickname and GlamQueen...As long as guests are being hosted properly, who cares?

scrunchythief

southernbelle0915 said:

thisismynickname said:

southernbelle0915 said:

I don't know why people give a shit whether someone changes their clothes before the reception. I've been to two weddings where this was done and it was NBD.

One was my sister's - she wore a knee length, white-ish spring dress she already owned for the ceremony and spent her money on a party dress for the reception. Hardly "AWish".

The other was an Indian wedding - the bride's ceremony dress was an extremely heavy, traditional Indian wedding dress. It was beautiful, but she said there's no way she could have danced in it. Her husband also changed out of his traditional clothes. Again, hardly AWish.

Eh... I think it's all about the context. I think it was mentioned that if someone had a cash bar and two expensive dresses, that's just shitty. Or if you're that concerned about dancing (not withstanding cultural things like the Indian attire), why get the huge-ass ballgown to begin with. 
We already pay boatloads of money for one-time-wear outfits, and most of us get, what, 6 hours of guest-facing time in that dress? So to cut it down to 2 or 3 hours seems even more wasteful. 

I've never seen it done. As long as the dress isn't at the expense of hosting well, I wouldn't care.  And OP definitely has a concern that makes a second, light dress very logical. 

If someone has a cash bar, I'm judging the shit out of EVERYTHING at their wedding.

But a lot of the reasons I see on here are simply that people judge because it's "AWish". So someone decides they want two dresses? Ok. Someone else wants a limo. Someone else wants 3 flavors of cake (who doesn't?). Someone else wants their wedding in Vegas. It's all relative - everything could be considered AWish by somebody. 

So I'm with you thisismynickname and GlamQueen...As long as guests are being hosted properly, who cares?

Just 3?  We had 3 at our (for our guest list) budget wedding, and I would've had, like, at least 3 more if our budget had allowed.

MissKittyDanger

I think the dress change depends on what you're changing into. At my friend's wedding, she changed from her wedding dress to a normal dress she had in her closet for the fun dancing part {after first dance idea} I debated on bringing a nice sundress for later in the evening, but I was very glad I ended up just bringing a pair of shorts lol

justsuzie

This is the dress that I chose for the reception. (Great deal on ebay!)  Now I am on the hunt for some super duper comfy footwear that has arch and ankle support.  I would do flats or sandals.  I was going to buy some sneakers for under the big poofy dress, but now that you will end up seeing them with this dress I need something a bit more dressy.  I have heard about tieks but the non-leather options aren't very cute.  Any other suggestions of footwear that you've actually worn?

OurWildKingdom

Very pretty dress! Definitely not ballet flats -- cute but no support whatsoever.

GlamQueenBride

MissKittyDanger said:

I think the dress change depends on what you're changing into.

Why?

SP29

Do you have the shoe store Naturalizer?

They sell shoes- their own brand- and they are quite well made with sole and heel. A ballet flat is not going to give you ankle support regardless, but if that's still something you want (just a nice, flat shoe), a store like above would be a good way to go. Most fashion flats make my feet and low back sore when I wear them (I have flat arches), but I have flats and boat shoes from Naturalizer, and I have no problems in either pair.

If you want actual ankle support, I would suggest a gladiator sandal that you could wear a basic nude coloured ankle brace under and it wouldn't be too noticeable.

KnickerGold

I was in a boot for 11 months- I found that my cowboy boots were the perfect heel height to match, and it made all the difference in the world. If it were me, I'd stay in my gown but wear supportive footwear, mostly because I'd want to still be able to walk the next day! 

scrunchythief

Also, you can always embellish the shoes later.  I wired little fake bluebirds onto a pair of flat, tan, lace-up sandals for my wedding:)  I hate heels.

banana468

My point in the above is that when you're getting married you're already the center of attention if you're wearing a wedding dress.   That *is* a bit AWish but it's an expected AWish if that makes sense.   

The only time I ever care is if you do something to please yourself at the expense of pleasing your guests.   I don't care if you arrive at your wedding in a fighter jet as long as I have plenty to eat and drink. 

MissKittyDanger

GlamQueenBride said:

MissKittyDanger said:

I think the dress change depends on what you're changing into.

Why?

Why bother spending money if you can get a cheap dress ...
If I had a long dress, I would have found a nice short dress {obv not same price} to change into.

justsuzie

SP29 said:

Do you have the shoe store Naturalizer?

They sell shoes- their own brand- and they are quite well made with sole and heel. A ballet flat is not going to give you ankle support regardless, but if that's still something you want (just a nice, flat shoe), a store like above would be a good way to go. Most fashion flats make my feet and low back sore when I wear them (I have flat arches), but I have flats and boat shoes from Naturalizer, and I have no problems in either pair.

If you want actual ankle support, I would suggest a gladiator sandal that you could wear a basic nude coloured ankle brace under and it wouldn't be too noticeable.

Do they make non-leather?

OurWildKingdom

Here you go, @justsuzie:

http://www.naturalizer.com/Mobile/ProductDetail.aspx?p=EC0217062

If the link doesn't work, do a search on their web site for "Joanie" and you should be able to find them. They're faux leather, have a slight heel (not too high), and look more supportive than the average flat or sandal.

OurWildKingdom

Also spotted these on ModCloth:

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/shoes-sandals/twists-and-head-turns-sandal-in-petal

http://www.modcloth.com/shop/shoes-sandals/lark-who-goes-there-sandal

justsuzie

Love the pink, but jelly material? Does that get sweaty and squeaky?