Spinoff poll- "causing a scene"

thisismynickname2

I'm genuinely curious if anyone has witnessed "a scene" at their wedding or a wedding they attended. 
Given the plethora of "I'm afraid so-and-so will cause a scene at my wedding" questions, I thought a poll would be interesting, as the fear tends to induce some etiquette-bending questions. 

Define "scene" in the comments if you've witnessed one! 

ShesSoCold

I've seen a scene. At a family friend's wedding years and years ago, somehow my brother's girlfriend found out he was cheating on her. She definitely caused a scene.

I wasn't at this wedding, but my sister was a BM in a wedding where the MOH got into an all-out screaming match with a groomsman because he took off his jacket before the groom did. There was a huge scene during cocktail hour (the C word was used) and the grooms parents left. It was bad.

ETA there were two mild scenes at my brother's wedding. Long story short, our BSC cousin was bawling. Like, wailing super loud and needed to be removed. Also a family friend got mega drunk and hit on pretty much everyone and yakked in the hallway. His wife is still embarrassed.

climbingsingle

I've witnessed a mild scene. A friend of the bride's was very, very drunk and she was emotional and crying. She kept leaving her table to grab people on the dance floor to cry to. 

And that's it, out of the dozens and dozens of weddings I've attended. I've seen some tacky shit, but nothing else I would consider a scene. 

thisismynickname2

Holy crap SSC.

I've never seen a scene. I've seen a lot of happy drunks and a BM cheated on her FI with a GM (found that out a few days later) but nothing that disrupted an actual wedding or wedding reception. 

I'll also say that as far as my wedding was concerned, I am aware that there are some in-law family politics that are less than desirable. Also, there were two guests at my wedding who are gay and at least one known homophobic uncle. No scenes, no uncomfortableness made known, nothing but jovial drunkenness and bad dance moves. 

flantastic

climbingwife said:

I've witnessed a mild scene. A friend of the bride's was very, very drunk and she was emotional and crying. She kept leaving her table to grab people on the dance floor to cry to. 

And that's it, out of the dozens and dozens of weddings I've attended. I've seen some tacky shit, but nothing else I would consider a scene. 

I did not see the scene (heard secondhand from DH) but this is what yours made me think of.

I don't think it was a particularly loud/obnoxious thing, but at DH's oldest brother's wedding, one of their female first cousins got very drunk and was hitting on/trying to dance rather provocatively with a few of her male cousins, who were very uncomfortable, and she was taken home early by her understandably angry BF (now H).

Jen4948

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

flantastic

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

I think that's the whole point. People get so worried so often about the potential for "scenes" and then nothing happens publicly, and people manage to get along, because generally people don't want to make the B&G uncomfortable.

glasgowtolondon

Never.

However I do like turtle and puppy gifs.

banana468

Not really a scene but I witnessed plenty of drunken guests doing silly things in happiness.

At one wedding I think the bride was upset at her father because she opted to storm off the dance floor instead of dance the father daughter dance.   There were no fights but I look back on it 15 years later an wonder WTF happened. 

climbingsingle

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

PrettyGirlLost

Yes, I've seen many people having public drama moments at weddings, but most occurred behind the scenes prior to the ceremony or reception.  I think I've seen two people "cause a scene" at the actual reception.

Who were the people "causing a scene" at these various weddings, either behind the scenes or at the reception?  In no particular order:

Bride
MOB
MOG
BMs
BM's Date

 

Jen4948

flantastic said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

I think that's the whole point. People get so worried so often about the potential for "scenes" and then nothing happens publicly, and people manage to get along, because generally people don't want to make the B&G uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, sometimes "scenes" do happen, even despite the couple's and hosts' best efforts to prevent and deal with them, so I don't think worrying about the potential for "scenes" to happen is unwarranted.

climbingsingle

Jen4948 said:

flantastic said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

I think that's the whole point. People get so worried so often about the potential for "scenes" and then nothing happens publicly, and people manage to get along, because generally people don't want to make the B&G uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, sometimes "scenes" do happen, even despite the couple's and hosts' best efforts to prevent and deal with them, so I don't think worrying about the potential for "scenes" to happen is unwarranted.

Are you actively worrying about a potential scene at your future wedding? 

Heffalump

I have two minor scenes, but nothing to lose sleep over:

1. I have previously mentioned XSIL's sister's MOH toast at my brother's wedding, in which she talked about herself the entire time and broke down in tears several times.  If we were the brawling type of family, it might not have been a big deal.  But we're all very buttoned up, so in that context it was definitely a capital-S Scene.

2.  (Different) SIL disappeared from our wedding, poof, gone.  It later turned out that she and FIL exchanged words about something or other, and she decided to just up and leave without telling anyone (incl. her date!) so everyone was like "Where's SIL?"  But again, compared to police being called or something, it was very minor.

That's it.  That's all I got, and I've been to a lot of weddings. Also

dyerwise

A bride got SUPER pissed at the groom for putting a little of cake frosting on her nose during the cake cutting. She stormed out of the reception hall crying and locked herself in the bride suite and spent 30 minutes or so screaming and crying through the door.

At another wedding where she was a guest she had another melt down and pushed other guests and kicked empty chairs out of her way while trying to (I'm assuming) find another room to lock herself in.

ShesSoCold

Thinking about it, none of the issues I've seen at a wedding were instances where people had worried for months about it. They just happened.

No one thought ahead of time that my brother's girlfriend would lose her shit at Sheila's wedding. Sheila never worried even a little bit about nutbag girlfriend.

The wedding where my sister was a BM? That girl had no idea or worry that her sister would get all nuts.

PrettyGirlLost

ShesSoCold said:

Thinking about it, none of the issues I've seen at a wedding were instances where people had worried for months about it. They just happened.

No one thought ahead of time that my brother's girlfriend would lose her shit at Sheila's wedding. Sheila never worried even a little bit about nutbag girlfriend.

The wedding where my sister was a BM? That girl had no idea or worry that her sister would get all nuts.

Yeah the shit I saw was all spontaneous, day-of bullshit too.

banana468

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

So then NO.   Your answer is NO.  

Jackie_Jormpjomp

I was at a wedding one time where an ex-girlfriend made a really odd, unwarranted speech, but I don't think it would qualify as a "scene". I mean, she called the groom "a little man-boy" who she thought would never get married, but everyone just thought she was a weirdo. 

CMGragain

I have not witnessed a scene at a wedding, but I have seen one at a funeral!

At my grandmother's funeral, bi-polar Uncle Joe showed up wearing a yarmulke and shouting that he was Jewish.  (He isn't.)  This funeral was held in rural Iowa.  His exact words were "Don't mess with me! I'm a God Damned Jew!"
A friend, who actually WAS Jewish walked up to him and said "So?  And when did you get circumsized?"  He had no answer.  He sat down at the reception and wolfed down three ham sandwiches, still wearing the yarmulke. 
This man had stolen $70,000 from my grandmother many years ago and disappeared to parts unknown.  His sister confronted him about it in the church.  She demanded that he pay back the money so that she would have an inheritance.  He told her to go to hell.  Lots of witnesses on this one.
His wife had called the day before to tell me that he had left his bi-polar meds at home and was probably off them again.  No surprise.  I promised her that I would keep him from driving a car.  I was successful.
When I say that mental illness gallops in my family, I'm not exaggerating.

scrunchythief

I saw one minor "scene" (I hesitate to call it that) before a friend's wedding, where the photographer was keeping her DH in the room where she was supposed to get dressed, and she didn't want DH to see her before the ceremony.  Nothing a little emergency chocolate couldn't cure:)

If you are worried about a scene, scope out the more private areas of the venue.  I do this frequently because of my anxiety; it helps to know where to go if I need a breather.  You could direct people there if something does happen with a glass of water and some emergency chocolate.  (I pack emergency chocolate on me almost all the time.)

CMGragain

Oh, I did forget one wedding scene.  My cousin was married less than two weeks after my father died.  My mother insisted on attending, and then threw a huge sobbing scene in the church, throwing herself into the arms of the nearest men available.  "Oh, my poor, dear husband!"  Yeah, don't do those memorials to loved ones.

ei34

I voted no.  I've seen plenty of fun drunks but nothing I'd consider a "scene".

missJeanLouise

My ex's brother's wedding was ending so I (in my expert 22 y/o wisdom) slammed a couple drinks and called us a cab. Then I found out, they were keeping the reception going for another hour. Those couple drinks hit my already tipsy ass pretty hard and my ex and I got into a fight about the cab. Idk if anyone noticed, if there was a scene; it was me.

ETA: it wasn't a yelling or screaming fight. Just a dude in the hall, trying to talk some sense to his too drunk girlfriend.

lembaslover

I said I like turtles and puppy gifs because that is the most true statement for me.

At SILs wedding DH's very badly behaved cousin (she's 16 but mentally acts like she's 6 and has never been told no in her life) kept harassing the bartenders telling them that they were going to hell for serving alcohol and so was everyone drinking it. While it wasn't quite enough to be a scene it was clearly obnoxious. She did cause a scene at SILs shower as she made a huge deal about SIL already living with her then FI again telling them they were living in sin and going to hell. Then she threw another fit b/c she didn't like the shower favor which was a small bottle of lotion I think. She was not invited to our wedding.

Jen4948

climbingwife said:

Jen4948 said:

flantastic said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

I think that's the whole point. People get so worried so often about the potential for "scenes" and then nothing happens publicly, and people manage to get along, because generally people don't want to make the B&G uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, sometimes "scenes" do happen, even despite the couple's and hosts' best efforts to prevent and deal with them, so I don't think worrying about the potential for "scenes" to happen is unwarranted.

Are you actively worrying about a potential scene at your future wedding? 

I can think of some scenarios that can turn into "scenes."

Jen4948

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

So then NO.   Your answer is NO.  

Stuck in box.

Excuse me, but it's up to me, NOT YOU, to decide what my answer is.  And I said I wasn't voting in the poll.  My answer is NOT "NO."

PrettyGirlLost

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

So then NO.   Your answer is NO.  

Stuck in box.

Excuse me, but it's up to me, NOT YOU, to decide what my answer is.  And I said I wasn't voting in the poll.  My answer is NOT "NO."

I think it's margarita time.

thisismynickname said:

I'm genuinely curious if anyone has witnessed "a scene" at their wedding or a wedding they attended.

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

So since the question, regardless of whether one was voting in the poll, was has anyone witnessed a scene at their wedding or a wedding they attended, then according to the rules of logic

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

So then NO.   Your answer is NO.  

No one decided your answer but you. ><

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

flantastic

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

So then NO.   Your answer is NO.  

Stuck in box.

Excuse me, but it's up to me, NOT YOU, to decide what my answer is.  And I said I wasn't voting in the poll.  My answer is NOT "NO."

"If I don't write it down, it isn't true."

banana468

Jen4948 said:

banana468 said:

Jen4948 said:

I'm not going to vote in this poll.  While I've never witnessed a "scene" at any wedding I've attended, I do know of many very sticky situations that have the potential to cause "scenes" at my own and at other weddings I might attend in the future.

So then NO.   Your answer is NO.  

Stuck in box.

Excuse me, but it's up to me, NOT YOU, to decide what my answer is.  And I said I wasn't voting in the poll.  My answer is NOT "NO."

Of course you get to answer how you want.    


But was the above post was incorrect?   The OP asked if anyone had witnessed a scene.   You haven't witnessed a scene.   

I guess I could say, "I haven't eaten enough cheesy poofs today," but that doesn't answer the actual question - and you still wouldn't be able to tell me how to post. 

kahluakoala

Scene I witnessed was at a wedding at a resort. People tried to crash the wedding towards the end as it was winding down and some drunk guests tried to get physical with the wedding crashers!