Something of a...personal issue...

PictureMe

Hey everyone! I'm new to this site so I apologize if this isn't exactly the right place to post this. 

So I've been married for about 3 years now after dating DH for nearly 5 years before we made it official. To get straight to the point, however, I'm a girl who enjoys my alone time (if you know what I mean  ). A few days ago, DH went out with a friend (something he does most weeks, and usually keeps him out of the house until late). I took the opportunity to enjoy myself, but lo and behold he came home pretty early and I was right in the middle of it! No embarrassing moments as I was able to readjust before he came to our bedroom, but it got me thinking.

I feel like maybe I'm a bit obsessed. The incident caused me to think about how often I self-indulge, and it's just about every time I have a moment to myself at home. Since we don't have kids, this is usually at least once a day. This seems normal for a teenager, but I just turned 31 a couple of months ago. I never had considered it to be a lot before, and it doesn't affect our sex life really. Also, I'm not exactly ashamed, but I do feel like maybe I should back off a bit. Just wondering what you ladies think/if I'm an outlier! Thanks!

climbingsingle

Who are we to say what's normal? This is really your business. If you want to touch yourself 5 times a day, have at it. 

I mean, if it affected your sex life, or you were skipping work to do it, I would say it's a problem. 

jenna8984

vikinganna87

Agree that only you @PictureMe can answer your own question.
Is it something you need to do in order to relax?  Why do you feel like you may be a bit obsessed?  Are there other things you should be doing instead?  

I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing but the fact that you're asking the question may mean something.  

justsie

I don't think its an issue unless you feel like it is OP. Is it affecting other areas of your life? Are you skipping certain things, going out with friends for example, in order to enjoy yourself? If not, I wouldn't see it as a problem at all. I also don't feel like just because your H got home early while you were enjoying yourself that you suddenly have to involve him in it. You mentioned it hasn't affected your sex life so I am guessing he hasn't mentioned wanting to engage more often. 

PictureMe

To answer the questions most of you asked, no I don't see it as getting in the way of anything. I'm a basically functional adult! It is sort of a relaxation thing, but mostly I think it's habit! I'm sort of conditioned to get aroused when I have the house to myself now, I guess. I don't involve H most of the time, because I sort of think of sex and masturbation as serving different needs if that makes sense. 

So now that we've established that I'm not a sex addict (yay!), I'm still curious as to just how different from the norm I am. Based on conversations with my friends I think I have at least a slightly higher drive than many women, but when in this area I don't know!

 @vikinganna87 I think that's insightful, I'm not sure exactly what I'm cuing in on that makes me want to ask. But I think you're right that it means something. Hmmm

MairePoppy

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climbingsingle

PictureMe said:

To answer the questions most of you asked, no I don't see it as getting in the way of anything. I'm a basically functional adult! It is sort of a relaxation thing, but mostly I think it's habit! I'm sort of conditioned to get aroused when I have the house to myself now, I guess. I don't involve H most of the time, because I sort of think of sex and masturbation as serving different needs if that makes sense. 

So now that we've established that I'm not a sex addict (yay!), I'm still curious as to just how different from the norm I am. Based on conversations with my friends I think I have at least a slightly higher drive than many women, but when in this area I don't know!

 @vikinganna87 I think that's insightful, I'm not sure exactly what I'm cuing in on that makes me want to ask. But I think you're right that it means something. Hmmm

Why does it matter how different you are from the norm? Why do you want strangers to tell you how often they masturbate?

thisismynickname2

I'm not going to look up the Cruel Intentions gifs as I'm at work and that could be scandalous, but this just makes me think:

"Everybody does it, it's just that no one talks about it." Picture Sarah Michelle Geller doing the "shhh" motion.

edit typo

kahluakoala

What a bizarre post - you make a profile on a wedding related website just to ask a bunch of strange women how much they masturbate?
 

jenna8984

@mairepoppy Is that a catfish?! that's amazing lol

ETA: And after I typed out catfish, the reference clicked and became more amazing.

glasgowtolondon

Lol! 

IRL I hope you at least introduce yourself to strangers before you ask them how often they get down to the kit kat shuffle.

You do you, OP. 

madamerwin

MairePoppy said:

?

Yes, this seems pretty... catfishy to me.

PictureMe

Lol. I guess I gave the wrong impression. I'm not interested in your specific habits, I just meant in general I was curious. I wasn't expecting people to tell me details haha! I've lurked around on these boards for a couple of years without ever starting an account, and I always got the impression that this section wasn't just wedding stuff. More like relationship in general. I really didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable or come of as a catfish. Sorry all

OliveOilsMom

PictureMe said:

Lol. I guess I gave the wrong impression. I'm not interested in your specific habits, I just meant in general I was curious. I wasn't expecting people to tell me details haha! I've lurked around on these boards for a couple of years without ever starting an account, and I always got the impression that this section wasn't just wedding stuff. More like relationship in general. I really didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable or come of as a catfish. Sorry all

This section isn't just about wedding stuff.  But this is your first discussion and we don't "know" you.  Its better to just start posting on different things so that people get to "know" you.  Then when you make a thread like this, we don't think you are a catfisher or someone trying to conduct surveys for your grad school thesis, etc.

JeeGooDowster

Whenever I have the apt to myself, i change my nail and toe polish and use the amope filer to give myself a mini pedicure.

@PictureMe....do you girl, do you!  As long as it's not affecting any other aspects of your life, it's all good and dandy

tigerlily6

glasgowtolondon said:

Lol! 

IRL I hope you at least introduce yourself to strangers before you ask them how often they get down to the kit kat shuffle.

You do you, OP. 

@glasgowtolondonI have never heard this euphemism until now, but I kind of love it. 

OP, I don't think your drive sounds all that abnormal. Due to personal beliefs, I've been holding off on all things until the wedding, so I can't speak from recent personal practice (although the concupiscent meter is crazy high, let me tell you), but in the past I experienced both some high and low spells. I have a number of friends who consistently enjoy a good roll in the hay, either with their partner or solo, at least once a day. I also have friends who consistently are good once every other week. Because women's sex drives can vary so much, I think it's easy for women on either end to feel like they aren't "normal", but really, I'm not sure there IS a normal when it comes to sex drive. JMHO.

PictureMe

Thanks for the support everyone! It was just a weird thought that kind of persisted, but I feel a little better about it. Sorry again for coming off as a creepy perv! I'll have to check myself better in the future  

[Deleted User]

Any sex therapist would tell you that if it's not interfering with everyday life, you're not getting in trouble for it (eg. doing it in public and getting arrested), and it doesn't negatively impact your sex life, you're good to go. Maybe just check if it hurts your H's feelings though- my FI has expressed he'd like the opportunity to satisfy me before turning to a little battery operated help.