Catholic Ceremony Helpers?

Knottie35128127

I'm having Roman Catholic service, not mass since my FI is not baptized. I know I will have a reader for the first and second reading as well as the prayer of the faithful. I will probably need 3 ushers as well. Is there anyone else I am forgetting? Who did you use to participate in your ceremony? I want to make sure I ask everyone so they have enough time to come in for the rehearsal if they are able (most of my extended family is from out of town).

banana468

Knottie35128127 said:

I'm having Roman Catholic service, not mass since my FI is not baptized. I know I will have a reader for the first and second reading as well as the prayer of the faithful. I will probably need 3 ushers as well. Is there anyone else I am forgetting? Who did you use to participate in your ceremony? I want to make sure I ask everyone so they have enough time to come in for the rehearsal if they are able (most of my extended family is from out of town).

Are you going to have sung music?   Some people I know ask a relative to sing if the relative has had experience singing in churches. 

OliveOilsMom

In addition to a singer, you will probably need someone to play a musical instrument unless your singer can do it without music.

I also don't think the ushers are necessary.  We did not have ushers, just a basket in the back of the church for programs and a sign telling people to sit anywhere - we did not have "sides".  So if you don't want ushers, you can skip them.

Cookie Pusher

Do you have someone to bring the gifts up to the altar?

MesmrEwe

Come on over to the Catholic Boards! (up above on the right where it says "Wedding Boards" there is a drop-down and you'll see "Cultural Boards" and you'll see the Catholic link there)..

Most churches require you to use their musician - be aware they will limit you on the music such as "No secular music"...  So check on that before asking someone to be a soloist..

Someone to take up the gifts..

If you're looking for maximum involvement...someone to light the candles...  

Ask about an altar server - Especially if you've got someone in your family that does this at their home parish.. 

Chances are since his family isn't Catholic there may not be a need, but a Eucharistic Minister (but you may also need to ask your priest on this as different Diocese have different rules).. 

scrunchythief

  Cookie Pusher said:

Do you have someone to bring the gifts up to the altar?

OP shouldn't need anyone to bring up the gifts, since it's the ceremony, not a Mass.  I don't know whether or not altar servers are needed for ceremony outside of Mass.  

Also, if the people you're asking are Catholic, they might not "need" to come to the rehearsal.  None of our readers or people bringing up the gifts, or my MOH were able to make it.  But it's so similar to Sunday Mass that everything still went very smoothly.

And ditto MesmrEwe, you should stop by the Catholic board:)

geebee908

One server can be helpful to the priest for the ceremony as someone to hold the book and holy water.

ei34

Ditto PP, I don't think you need ushers.  An altar server will most likely be provided by the church.

LtPowers

scrunchythief said:

OP shouldn't need anyone to bring up the gifts, since it's the ceremony, not a Mass.  I don't know whether or not altar servers are needed for ceremony outside of Mass.  

In my Catholic ceremony, no Eucharist was celebrated, and no altar servers were present. In fact, we didn't even have a priest; the deacon performed the ceremony.

aurianna

It sounds like you've already made the decision to not do a full mass. But in case it's something you actually want... I think most Catholic churches will let you marry someone unbaptized if you get a dispensation from the region's bishop.

Readers are the only biggies I can think of.
Musicians/singers if you want them. But as PP said, some churches have special rules. We were allowed our own musicians but we still had to coordinate it through their music guy.
Maybe ask your priest if he'll require the aid  of an alter boy/girl, and if so, if that's something you need to provide (and if the church provides it, consider to tipping the kid).

MesmrEwe

scrunchythief said:

  Cookie Pusher said:

Do you have someone to bring the gifts up to the altar?

OP shouldn't need anyone to bring up the gifts, since it's the ceremony, not a Mass.  I don't know whether or not altar servers are needed for ceremony outside of Mass.  

Also, if the people you're asking are Catholic, they might not "need" to come to the rehearsal.  None of our readers or people bringing up the gifts, or my MOH were able to make it.  But it's so similar to Sunday Mass that everything still went very smoothly.

And ditto MesmrEwe, you should stop by the Catholic board:)

Our priest requires readers especially to come to the rehearsal for the reason being that they have more horror stories to count of readers who clearly hadn't practiced the reading to the extent that they didn't even say words correctly, the rehearsal gives the priest the peace of mind that whomever is reading it gives due reverence to said readings...

scrunchythief

MesmrEwe said:

scrunchythief said:

  Cookie Pusher said:

Do you have someone to bring the gifts up to the altar?

OP shouldn't need anyone to bring up the gifts, since it's the ceremony, not a Mass.  I don't know whether or not altar servers are needed for ceremony outside of Mass.  

Also, if the people you're asking are Catholic, they might not "need" to come to the rehearsal.  None of our readers or people bringing up the gifts, or my MOH were able to make it.  But it's so similar to Sunday Mass that everything still went very smoothly.

And ditto MesmrEwe, you should stop by the Catholic board:)

Our priest requires readers especially to come to the rehearsal for the reason being that they have more horror stories to count of readers who clearly hadn't practiced the reading to the extent that they didn't even say words correctly, the rehearsal gives the priest the peace of mind that whomever is reading it gives due reverence to said readings...

That is a very good point.  I forgot that this was only ok for us because all of our readers had been readers for normal services before.  So, I take that back, unless your situation is the same.

MesmrEwe

scrunchythief said:

MesmrEwe said:

scrunchythief said:

  Cookie Pusher said:

Do you have someone to bring the gifts up to the altar?

OP shouldn't need anyone to bring up the gifts, since it's the ceremony, not a Mass.  I don't know whether or not altar servers are needed for ceremony outside of Mass.  

Also, if the people you're asking are Catholic, they might not "need" to come to the rehearsal.  None of our readers or people bringing up the gifts, or my MOH were able to make it.  But it's so similar to Sunday Mass that everything still went very smoothly.

And ditto MesmrEwe, you should stop by the Catholic board:)

Our priest requires readers especially to come to the rehearsal for the reason being that they have more horror stories to count of readers who clearly hadn't practiced the reading to the extent that they didn't even say words correctly, the rehearsal gives the priest the peace of mind that whomever is reading it gives due reverence to said readings...

That is a very good point.  I forgot that this was only ok for us because all of our readers had been readers for normal services before.  So, I take that back, unless your situation is the same.

My aunt read at her home parish for decades, she read at pretty much every family wedding, and our priest still required her to come! LOL

LtPowers

aurianna said:

It sounds like you've already made the decision to not do a full mass. But in case it's something you actually want... I think most Catholic churches will let you marry someone unbaptized if you get a dispensation from the region's bishop.

Yes, and such dispensation is routine. But they need the dispensation regardless of whether there's a full Mass or not.

OliveOilsMom

LtPowers said:

aurianna said:

It sounds like you've already made the decision to not do a full mass. But in case it's something you actually want... I think most Catholic churches will let you marry someone unbaptized if you get a dispensation from the region's bishop.

Yes, and such dispensation is routine. But they need the dispensation regardless of whether there's a full Mass or not.

And it sounds like OP has the dispensation.  She is asking about what participants she needs for the ceremony.

aurianna

OliveOilsMom said:

LtPowers said:

aurianna said:

It sounds like you've already made the decision to not do a full mass. But in case it's something you actually want... I think most Catholic churches will let you marry someone unbaptized if you get a dispensation from the region's bishop.

Yes, and such dispensation is routine. But they need the dispensation regardless of whether there's a full Mass or not.

And it sounds like OP has the dispensation.  She is asking about what participants she needs for the ceremony.

OP opened up the reason she wasn't having a Catholic mass to everyone ergo it's fair game.
I only brought it up in the off-chance she or lurkers would be interested in a full mass but didn't know it was an option. (and I didn't know you needed a dispensation even without the Eucharist so I learned something and am glad I brought it up).

AND I offered input on ceremony participants in case you missed that.

Are you seriously posting a "You're commenting about something [I] brought up but not what [I] directly asked about so I'm going to whine that you shouldn't be allowed to post what you want on the internet" post?

MrsMack10612

I am a non-Catholic, baptized Christian and we still needed dispensation to get married.  We were also offered the option of the full mass but chose against it.

As for helpers for the ceremony, all we needed was readers.  No gift bearers, no altar servers.

flantastic

aurianna said:

OliveOilsMom said:

LtPowers said:

aurianna said:

It sounds like you've already made the decision to not do a full mass. But in case it's something you actually want... I think most Catholic churches will let you marry someone unbaptized if you get a dispensation from the region's bishop.

Yes, and such dispensation is routine. But they need the dispensation regardless of whether there's a full Mass or not.

And it sounds like OP has the dispensation.  She is asking about what participants she needs for the ceremony.

OP opened up the reason she wasn't having a Catholic mass to everyone ergo it's fair game.
I only brought it up in the off-chance she or lurkers would be interested in a full mass but didn't know it was an option. (and I didn't know you needed a dispensation even without the Eucharist so I learned something and am glad I brought it up).

AND I offered input on ceremony participants in case you missed that.

Are you seriously posting a "You're commenting about something [I] brought up but not what [I] directly asked about so I'm going to whine that you shouldn't be allowed to post what you want on the internet" post?

You can certainly bring up "you can probably still have a Mass in case you were thinking you couldn't," and I'm a fan of when people do that.

However, your post made it sound like a) you thought she was getting married totally outside the Church and b) thought a Mass was tied to a dispensation, neither of which are correct. So I read OOM's post as a clarification of what was happening here, which you seemed to need. She wasn't telling you how to post.

PrettyGirlLost

flantastic said:

aurianna said:

OliveOilsMom said:

LtPowers said:

aurianna said:

It sounds like you've already made the decision to not do a full mass. But in case it's something you actually want... I think most Catholic churches will let you marry someone unbaptized if you get a dispensation from the region's bishop.

Yes, and such dispensation is routine. But they need the dispensation regardless of whether there's a full Mass or not.

And it sounds like OP has the dispensation.  She is asking about what participants she needs for the ceremony.

OP opened up the reason she wasn't having a Catholic mass to everyone ergo it's fair game.
I only brought it up in the off-chance she or lurkers would be interested in a full mass but didn't know it was an option. (and I didn't know you needed a dispensation even without the Eucharist so I learned something and am glad I brought it up).

AND I offered input on ceremony participants in case you missed that.

Are you seriously posting a "You're commenting about something [I] brought up but not what [I] directly asked about so I'm going to whine that you shouldn't be allowed to post what you want on the internet" post?

You can certainly bring up "you can probably still have a Mass in case you were thinking you couldn't," and I'm a fan of when people do that.

However, your post made it sound like a) you thought she was getting married totally outside the Church and b) thought a Mass was tied to a dispensation, neither of which are correct. So I read OOM's post as a clarification of what was happening here, which you seemed to need. She wasn't telling you how to post.

I didn't get that from her post at all.  I tok it as "Oh, BTW, you can have a full mass if you want, regardless of whether or not your FI is a baptized Catholic.   YOu just need dispensation, which you already will need in order for you to marry an unbaptized Catholic, period."

OliveOilsMom

flantastic said:

aurianna said:

OliveOilsMom said:

LtPowers said:

aurianna said:

It sounds like you've already made the decision to not do a full mass. But in case it's something you actually want... I think most Catholic churches will let you marry someone unbaptized if you get a dispensation from the region's bishop.

Yes, and such dispensation is routine. But they need the dispensation regardless of whether there's a full Mass or not.

And it sounds like OP has the dispensation.  She is asking about what participants she needs for the ceremony.

OP opened up the reason she wasn't having a Catholic mass to everyone ergo it's fair game.
I only brought it up in the off-chance she or lurkers would be interested in a full mass but didn't know it was an option. (and I didn't know you needed a dispensation even without the Eucharist so I learned something and am glad I brought it up).

AND I offered input on ceremony participants in case you missed that.

Are you seriously posting a "You're commenting about something [I] brought up but not what [I] directly asked about so I'm going to whine that you shouldn't be allowed to post what you want on the internet" post?

You can certainly bring up "you can probably still have a Mass in case you were thinking you couldn't," and I'm a fan of when people do that.

However, your post made it sound like a) you thought she was getting married totally outside the Church and b) thought a Mass was tied to a dispensation, neither of which are correct. So I read OOM's post as a clarification of what was happening here, which you seemed to need. She wasn't telling you how to post.

Exactly everything Flan said.  I would never tell someone how to post.  I often comment of other parts of peoples' posts, so I would not comment telling others not to do something I do.

I interpreted your post as saying that if Catholic OP wanted to marry her non-baptized FI in a Catholic ceremony (in or out of a full Mass), she needed a dispensation.  I was simply saying that based on her OP, she already has that dispensation.

holyguacamole79

I like your new sig pic, @OliveOilsMom

OliveOilsMom

holyguacamole79 said:

I like your new sig pic, @OliveOilsMom

Thanks Guac!

Knottie35128127

Thanks everyone! It was a big help. I was told I couldn't do a full mass, but a service since my FI is not baptized as anything. I believe a full mass is only an option if you're marrying another religious person. That was at least my understanding of it! So, I could be wrong. 
Anyway, we decided two have two readers (my godparents) since my church requires you use their musicians. We are going to have ushers, his brother in laws, as a way to incorporate them into the ceremony. 
Thank you for all of the input! You guys are always so helpful!

LtPowers

Knottie35128127 said:

Thanks everyone! It was a big help. I was told I couldn't do a full mass, but a service since my FI is not baptized as anything. I believe a full mass is only an option if you're marrying another religious person. That was at least my understanding of it! So, I could be wrong. 

To the best of my knowledge, you can still have a full Mass even if one of the people being married is unbaptized. I don't know if he can take communion or not; normally non-Catholics should not but there may be an exception for a bride or groom. With that in mind, it's probably not a great idea to do a full Mass, especially since his side is presumably non-Catholic.

holyguacamole79

LtPowers said:

Knottie35128127 said:

Thanks everyone! It was a big help. I was told I couldn't do a full mass, but a service since my FI is not baptized as anything. I believe a full mass is only an option if you're marrying another religious person. That was at least my understanding of it! So, I could be wrong. 

To the best of my knowledge, you can still have a full Mass even if one of the people being married is unbaptized. I don't know if he can take communion or not; normally non-Catholics should not but there may be an exception for a bride or groom. With that in mind, it's probably not a great idea to do a full Mass, especially since his side is presumably non-Catholic.

If he is not Catholic,  he is not to receive the Eucharist.

Also, it sounds like (based on this site from the US Bishops) a nuptial Mass is not possible if one of they parties is not baptized.    http://www.foryourmarriage.org/catholic-marriage/planning-a-catholic-wedding/

scrunchythief

From what I understand you can have a nuptial Mass if both parties are baptized, even if one is not Catholic.  But it's generally not recommended because of communion.  Though, there are some religions whose members are permitted to take communion at a Catholic Mass (I think Orthodox?).  At least by the Catholic Church, I don't know about what their church permits.

But, always check with your priest!