Vow Renewals

Vow Renewal after 12 years

My husband just brought up the idea of a vow renewal a few days ago. We'll have been married 12 years in August, which is significant because his first marriage ended in divorce after 12 years.

I only have 3 months to plan! Yikes! 

For those of you planning your vow renewals, what does yours look like? What decisions have you made? I'm particularly interested in the dress you've chosen.

Re: Vow Renewal after 12 years

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited May 2016
    I answered you on the other board.  Please add "X-post" to your title.

    I was a church organist for 28 years, and played for several vow renewals.  All of them were done when the couple had been married for at least 25 to 50 years.  The wife wore either a dressy suit or an evening gown, usually in a pastel color which is flattering to older women.  There were no wedding parties, since these were not weddings, but were mostly happy family events.
    I did play at one vow renewal where the lady wore a wedding dress, but we were all unaware that they had been married about a year earlier, so this was a PPD, (Pretty Princess Day) and not a wedding at all.  Wearing a wedding dress is really not appropriate for someone who is already married.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    EstherK said:
    My husband just brought up the idea of a vow renewal a few days ago. We'll have been married 12 years in August, which is significant because his first marriage ended in divorce after 12 years.

    I only have 3 months to plan! Yikes! 

    For those of you planning your vow renewals, what does yours look like? What decisions have you made? I'm particularly interested in the dress you've chosen.


    I can understand the milestone that your H wants recognized.  But I'd think it were very odd to have a vow renewal at 12 years, basically to celebrate that the grooms marriage lasted longer than 12 years this time.  They are usually reserved for longer time periods like 25 or 50 years.  I could possibly get behind a 15 year vow renewal.

    My suggestion to you, is to go on vacation somewhere together (or with your children, if you have any) and have a private vow renewal with just your H and possible children.  Hire a photographer, buy a nice dress, have a delicious dinner afterwards, but don't make this a huge to do with lots of guests.

    InLoveInQueensshort+sassy
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    EstherK said:
    My husband just brought up the idea of a vow renewal a few days ago. We'll have been married 12 years in August, which is significant because his first marriage ended in divorce after 12 years.

    I only have 3 months to plan! Yikes! 

    For those of you planning your vow renewals, what does yours look like? What decisions have you made? I'm particularly interested in the dress you've chosen.


    I can understand the milestone that your H wants recognized.  But I'd think it were very odd to have a vow renewal at 12 years, basically to celebrate that the grooms marriage lasted longer than 12 years this time.  They are usually reserved for longer time periods like 25 or 50 years.  I could possibly get behind a 15 year vow renewal.

    My suggestion to you, is to go on vacation somewhere together (or with your children, if you have any) and have a private vow renewal with just your H and possible children.  Hire a photographer, buy a nice dress, have a delicious dinner afterwards, but don't make this a huge to do with lots of guests.

    Yeah, this sounds like a private milestone that should be kept private. If you two want to celebrate your success in marriage, go away and do so, maybe with a vow renewal, maybe not.

    However, if I were invited to a large-scale vow renewal for this "milestone," I would think that 12 years was a very odd time for it. If I didn't know the reason for it, I would think you guys had probably just been through a very rough patch in your marriage and had something to prove. If I did know the reason for it, I would think it very odd that you were measuring this marriage with the yardstick of the last marriage, and would find it awkward to attend.

    Anniversary

    bohobrideCAOliveOilsMomInLoveInQueenslc07
  • I would find a 10 year renewal or 15, 20, 25 fine. But 12 is odd. And honestly the reason behind it is worrisome. Why is he still focusing on his previous marriage? 
    lc07InLoveInQueensJediElizabeth
  • May I ask how long your ladies who have commented on this post have been married?
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    May I ask how long your ladies who have commented on this post have been married?
    May I ask why that information would have any bearing on a response?
    ViczaesarOliveOilsMom
  • Only because you all sound a little immature. 
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Only because you all sound a little immature. 
    Could you please point out which specific statements in this thread sound immature?  I don't see one immature statement.
  • BrookslovesJason is planning her own PPD.  That is why we are getting the ridiculous posts.  She is defending her own plans.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OliveOilsMom
  • edited August 2016
    Only because you all sound a little immature. 

    "
    Thank you for your Bitchy response. I myself have been married over 15 years and see no problem with ANYONE celebrating their love in any capacity. It is their money and their life who cares. Are you or your minions paying for this event? I didn't think so. Let them be. The etiquette you speak of was created MANY years ago and very little people follow that as you so perfectly did. Great Job! 

    I will "lurk" or comment on whatever I see fit. I come here time and time again hoping for a positive response to one of these questions where women just want their special day, not the day at the court house for circumstances beyond their control, or the backyard shindig their families threw together. If their husband and the wife want the big to do who are YOU to judge them?"
    I have to quote you here because you got the thread with your hurtful comment closed down.

    How dare you act all high and mighty, calling people bitchy and immature, when you spout the bullshit bolded above. You have the gall to call the PPs immature when you shit on courthouse and backyard weddings. My wedding was pretty fucking special, despite being held at City Hall with a handful of immediate family and my BFF as our only guests. I guess I should just cry myself to sleep at night because my wedding wasn't a Princess fantasy magical day, huh?

    Did you get married in the womb, because for someone married 15 years you sure talk like a high schooler, all attitude and no class.

    You are not going to find like-minded people here, especially with how you talk down weddings that aren't Disney dream weddings. Who are YOU to judge anyone's wedding (edited by mod)?

    If you choose to get married at the court house or in the backyard, circumstance or not, you can make it as special as you want but people here are against lying, no matter what reason you have if you're married at the end of the day, that's your wedding. Embrace it or put it off, but don't lie and don't go on a wedding tour because you feel like you deserve more.
    redwoodoriginalViczaesarthespeshulestsnowflake
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