Outdoor Weddings

Outdoor Ceremony on Mountaintop. Standing Ceremony Okay?

My fiancée and I were thinking about having our wedding ceremony here:


They don't allow chairs, except for the elderly and those who need to sit. Is it okay to have standing ceremony in this situation, or would you be upset if you had to attend a ceremony at this location and stand the whole time? The actual ceremony program time would be ~20 minutes. 

Re: Outdoor Ceremony on Mountaintop. Standing Ceremony Okay?

  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
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    edited May 2016
    There is a post on Etiquette where another poster asks if it's okay to not provide chairs because it's on a mountain.  

    The answer is no. That is not ever okay, anywhere. 
    image
    Knottie1452098987adk19OliveOilsMom
  • edited May 2016
    "Those who need to sit" is everybody you invite. And I think you know that if you have to ask if it's okay to make people stand, the answer is NO.

    ETA: They clearly allow chairs since they have the exception in place already. Why would they even say 'oh, it's not allowed, BUT it is for some people.' If they seriously won't let you provide a chair for every single ass, this is not a good venue.
    image
    Knottie1452098987adk19
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    Please only do this if you're able to provide seats for every single person attending. I've had to suffer through a standing ceremony, and it really sucked. A LOT. 

    Also, how will all of your guests get up to the mountain top? I see a road, but will they have to scale a large hill? 

    I get it - my husband wanted to get married on a mountain top too. But the logistics were a nightmare and we scrapped that idea. 

    adk19tigerlily6
  • When I first started planning, I thought I wanted a cocktail style reception. One of the pros being we wouldn't need tables and chairs for everyone since they would all be mingling. But who are you going to tell they don't get a seat? Your mom? Your boss? Your cousin who travelled 6 hours to see you? Once I started thinking of the people I would be excluding from the privilege of a chair, I couldn't justify it.

    I realize that a ceremony is shorter than a reception but it is the same thing. Treat everyone the same. Give everyone a chair.
    adk19OurWildKingdomHeffalump
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
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    Your ceremony would only be 20 minutes, but how long will your guests be waiting prior to the ceremony?  What if you are running late?  That 20 minutes of standing for the ceremony, plus the amount of time they have been waiting for the ceremony to start could end up being that they need to stand for an hour.  That is not acceptable.

    Now, if you have 2 buses driving up to the mountaintop at the exact same time, one with your guests and one with you, FI & WP.  Where as soon as your guests exit their bus, the entire show goes on, maybe that could work.  And the only reason that might work is because your guests are only standing for 20 minutes because once they depart the bus and move into the ceremony space, you begin the processional. 

    If this place is so special, why not just have a first look up there?

    OurWildKingdomadk19ernursejHeffalump
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
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    It's beautiful and a great spot to take pictures, but not appropriate for a ceremony. 
    adk19
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
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    edited May 2016
    Once I started thinking of the people I would be excluding from the privilege of a chair, I couldn't justify it.

    I realize that a ceremony is shorter than a reception but it is the same thing. Treat everyone the same. Give everyone a chair.
    Slightly off-topic, but OP, don't even think about making guests carry their chairs. I had to talk FW out of that one. It's better to borrow chairs or cough up the extra couple hundred dollars to rent them. One of my cousins owns a funeral home, so I may borrow some chairs from him and rent the rest.
  • I'm curious also as to what kind of hike it is to get to this place. I don't want to have walked a considerable distance across uneven ground in dress shoes to find out that I don't get a chair to sit in when I get there.
    OurWildKingdom
  • Beautiful location! But not for a ceremony if chairs are not allowed. (Though obviously that is not a hard and fast rule, if elderly and disabled are allowed seats).

    Why not have photos taken up there instead?
    BabyFruit Ticker
    OurWildKingdom
  • Erikan73Erikan73
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    edited May 2016

    Beautiful location, but as a guest, how far am I going to have to walk from my parked car to only have to stand in my heels? And like a PP said, getting there early to be a good guest & then wait for you to arrive.

    Something else to consider, photos. If people are just standing around, will people standing up cause issues with your photographer getting good shots of you going up & down the aisle? How will you mark the aisle and how are you going to keep people from getting too close or standing behind you so that your photographer has a clear shot of you during the ceremony?

    On last thing, where is the nearest bathroom? You may not need it, but guests who are there longer may and heck, you and/or FI may need to. I know people who when they get nervous, get the need to go.

    OurWildKingdomCMGragain
  • How are you deciding who gets chairs? My husband isn't elderly but has back trouble and the only people who know are myself and his parents. So there may be people you don't even realize who need a chair and then you aren't providing one. I'd personally be pissed if DH got overlooked just b/c he appears to be fine. Better to just provide a chair for every guest and find a venue that can provide that.

    Considering it's been a couple days and you haven't come back I'm guessing you've gone on to other forums to validate your *unique* ideas...
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    adk19OurWildKingdom
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA
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    Standing ceremony okay?  Never.



  • lnixon8lnixon8
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    Who the hell is "they"? Do most hills next to highways have coordinators? Truly curious how much this would cost. Are non rush hours considered peak season?


    sparklepants41
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    You're going to need a contingency plan in the event of inclement weather.  Find a beautiful Plan B and then use it regardless of weather. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • Beautiful.  So beautiful.  But no one will care how pretty it is if they can't sit down. 

    I understand the impulse.  We were up in the mountains this past weekend, and I asked DH "Why didn't we get married here?"  But it didn't take long to remember:  my elderly grandma (and she was already elderly 10 years ago, when we got married), his mother (who was in poor health and passed away a few years later), his dad's bad back, guests with infants/small kids, etc.

    It's a beautiful spot.  Visit all you like.  But don't get married there if your guests won't have anywhere to sit.
    OurWildKingdom
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    How are you deciding who gets chairs? My husband isn't elderly but has back trouble and the only people who know are myself and his parents. So there may be people you don't even realize who need a chair and then you aren't providing one. I'd personally be pissed if DH got overlooked just b/c he appears to be fine. Better to just provide a chair for every guest and find a venue that can provide that.

    Considering it's been a couple days and you haven't come back I'm guessing you've gone on to other forums to validate your *unique* ideas...


    Actually, I was lurking on WW and they had the same responses we did.


    OP, I had planned to get married on a mountain top. We were paying $1,000 for the ski lift to run, plus like $6.50 per chair to get them up there, I think. We were paying additional for parking for the guests so they wouldn't have to walk far to the lifts and everything was more expensive (food, drink) because it was at the building at the top of the mountain instead of the bottom. It was a PITA and probably would have been a PITA day of. If it's THAT worth it to you, you need to work out more than just chairs.

    image
    OurWildKingdom
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
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    How are you deciding who gets chairs? My husband isn't elderly but has back trouble and the only people who know are myself and his parents. So there may be people you don't even realize who need a chair and then you aren't providing one. I'd personally be pissed if DH got overlooked just b/c he appears to be fine. Better to just provide a chair for every guest and find a venue that can provide that.

    Considering it's been a couple days and you haven't come back I'm guessing you've gone on to other forums to validate your *unique* ideas...


    Actually, I was lurking on WW and they had the same responses we did.


    OP, I had planned to get married on a mountain top. We were paying $1,000 for the ski lift to run, plus like $6.50 per chair to get them up there, I think. We were paying additional for parking for the guests so they wouldn't have to walk far to the lifts and everything was more expensive (food, drink) because it was at the building at the top of the mountain instead of the bottom. It was a PITA and probably would have been a PITA day of. If it's THAT worth it to you, you need to work out more than just chairs.

    I was just thinking, I've been on a handful of mountaintops on various vacations, and every one of them has had a) lifts and b) benches. By this picture alone, I don't see the logistics available that SSC mentions as requirements for a ceremony. 
    ________________________________


    ShesSoColdOurWildKingdom
  • edited May 2016
    My SIL is getting married on top of the mountain. There are chairs for every single person. 

    Also, things you might not have thought about; I'm a super active, athlete, normally able bodied person. However I had knee surgery in December. My recovery has gone poorly and I had a bad set back last week. Now if you were my H, my sister, or my best friend you would know because we talk all the time. No one else does because it doesn't tend to come up. I don't post about it on social media.  You have no idea, even with your friends and family, what might be going on in their lives. You would hate to not have enough seats and have someone you love be uncomfortable or in pain. I hope. 
    OurWildKingdom
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