Shower guest list

CaseyBoBasey

Hi all,

I have a question about the shower guest list. To what extent should I be in charge of who gets invited? I know that only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower, but my main concern is guests being invited to multiple showers. I've had 3 different people offer to throw me a shower (which I'm not even sure I want to accept because that seems like a lot), and I'm worried that someone being invited to more than one shower seems gift-grabby. Should I be the one dictating the guest list for each shower? Is it not that big of a deal if there's some overlap on the shower guest lists? Any input would be helpful! 

photokitty

In my family 2 or 3 showers if normal. We work with the host to set the list. Typically they want to host their circle. I.e. an aunt on my dad's side will host the aunts and cousins of the bride. A friend will offer to hosts the friends and frequently someone on the groom's side offers to host those aunts and cousins.

The only overlap is the moms, grandmas and sometimes bridal party. The BP is told they are only invited as a courtesy and should not feel obligated. We also break etiquette and ask that they not bring gifts should they come to multiple. I know you should mention it bc you shouldn't expect gifts, but people like to invite the BP and we don't want to send more money on more gifts.

lnixon8

Your hosts should ask you for a list and tell you how many people they are willing to host. You don't have to accept all 3 and the only overlap should be (potentially) both you and your FI's moms grandmothers and sisters-even those are "iffy". You are free to decline showers, most people would take that and be either quietly relieved or offer to help the host (I had one shower and my aunt brought a cake and future SILs brought dips and fruit salad)

LtPowers

photokitty said:

I know you should mention it bc you shouldn't expect gifts, but people like to invite the BP and we don't want to send more money on more gifts.

Limited discussion of gifts is okay, because that's the whole point of a shower. Without gifts it's just a bridal luncheon or tea. Or an engagement party.

SP29

Yes, you should be giving the hosts a guest list, based on how many guests they have offered to host.

Do not overlap, with the exception of IMMEDIATE family, and the BP (not that these individuals are required to attend all, or bring gifts to all, but it is a courtesy).

You are also free to decline any offers for a shower. Perhaps ask those who have offered, "What were you thinking of hosting?". If they want to do something small and host a particular part of the family, 3 showers may be fine (of course if YOU don't want to attend 3 showers, you can still say no), but if you have more than one person wanting to host something big, perhaps they could co-host something instead.

charlotte989875

Agree with all the PPs, just make sure you ask for a number of people before you supply a list (if you are asked for one). If you decide to accept all three showers (which is fine if you want, and the norm in many families/circles) ask each host how many people they are comfortable hosting and don't go above that.

CaseyBoBasey

Thanks for the replies! I'll make sure I find out how many people the shower hosts are comfortable inviting, and then supply the guest list