Opening gifts at your bridal shower

Knottie1429992161

Hi! I'm getting married at the end of this September and my bridal shower is going to be at the end of July. (I don't like surprises so my mother and maid of honor are keeping me in the loop on everything). 

Right now I'm trying to decide if I want to open all the gifts in front of everyone at the shower or request that they are unwrapped. There should probably be about 30-35 people there. I'm going to a friends shower in a few weeks and her invitations asked that guests only bring gifts with a ribbon or bow and that they will be displayed for everyone to see.

I'm debating both. My reason for possibly asking for unwrapped is because I'm an extremely shy person and I'm kind of dreading having everyone stare at me and wait for my reaction as I open gifts. But on the other hand, we have the venue for 4 hours so if I didn't open them I'm not sure if people would get bored. We'd be playing some games but 4 hours is still a long time. I also think the gift opening is the whole point of a shower. I keep going back and forth.

Any opinions/etiquette would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much!!

UPDATE: I definitely decided I am going to go with opening the gifts and deal with being a little bit uncomfortable. Thank you all for your opinions!!

Jen4948

If you don't want to open gifts at your shower, then don't have a shower.  It isn't appropriate to make any requests regarding the nature of the gifts you receive, and opening gifts while being watched is the essence of a shower.

artbyallie

Ditto Jen. The whole point of a shower is to give the bride gifts. Shower games suck. Food, conversation, and gift-opening are what should happen at a shower.

So, your choices are decline the shower, have a 'bridal luncheon' instead (but some people WILL still bring gifts), or accept the shower and open gifts with a smile and a thanks to the giver and write your thank you notes promptly afterward.

ETA: Gifts are one of my primary love languages. I would be terribly hurt if someone didn't want me to wrap their gift and didn't want to open it at the shower I brought it to. I like choosing, wrapping, and giving gifts and seeing the person I give it to pleased with what they receive. Anything less makes me feel unappreciated and that the recipient is ungrateful. Please be considerate of the people who care about you enough to attend your shower if you have one.

jacques27

Ditto.  Gift giving is not my language and I would still be irked if someone asked me to do that.  The sole purpose of the shower is to shower the bride with gifts and most people, even those who don't enjoy the gift giving process, much like myself, find joy in seeing their carefully selected, thoughtful gift unwrapped and enjoyed by the gift recipient.  I might as well just mail the gift and save myself 4+ hours.  It would have been more appropriate to either decline the shower if you're uncomfortable with it or made it a non-gift giving event like a bridal party luncheon.

Knottie1429992161

Thank you all! My gut was saying to open the gifts and deal with being a little uncomfortable and hearing your reasonings make a lot of sense and sounds like the right thing to do. Thanks for your help!

lnixon8

Ditto PP's. And for many people (myself included) games do not make showers fun. Food, drinks, chit chat and seeing what other people give at showers make them enjoyable. You do not need to use the whole 4 hours.

charlotte989875

Knottie1429992161 said:

Thank you all! My gut was saying to open the gifts and deal with being a little uncomfortable and hearing your reasonings make a lot of sense and sounds like the right thing to do. Thanks for your help!

I was pretty uncomfortable opening gifts as well, but that's just part of the deal when you have a shower.

Things that made it better; having an open bar and wine, one of the games was "bingo" with the spaces as items from my registry so people weren't just looking at me the whole time and we gave out "prizes" during the gifts so it broke things up a bit. Honestly I felt weird the whole time but it was great seeing all my family before the wedding. 

ei34

I was uncomfortable opening gifts too.  What helped was knowing that guests (in my circle anyway) are semi-watching to see the bride open their gift but are really enjoying themselves at the party. Unlimited wine, great food and seating guests with those they're friendliest with (no games necessary) make the four hours fly by, in my experience.  Good luck!

ernursej

Another way to take some of the attention off you is to pass around the gift. While the last gift is being passed around, you can start opening the next gift. I know not all people like passing the gift around, I genuinely love to see what other people thought of for gifts. I get great ideas for future gifts from this.

kahluakoala

Can I be a voice of dissent? I do not enjoy the gift showing process at showers. I think it embarrasses people who give gifts on the smaller side and is pretty boring to me as a guest. 

the most fun showers I've ever been to are ones where the gift was requested unwrapped. The bride still took a moment to privately pull me aside and genuinely thank me for the gift I chose and I found that much more meaningful than the big show with everyone zoning off.

JMHO.

charlotte989875

KahluaKoala said:

Can I be a voice of dissent? I do not enjoy the gift showing process at showers. I think it embarrasses people who give gifts on the smaller side and is pretty boring to me as a guest. 

the most fun showers I've ever been to are ones where the gift was requested unwrapped. The bride still took a moment to privately pull me aside and genuinely thank me for the gift I chose and I found that much more meaningful than the big show with everyone zoning off.

JMHO.

I get this and it wouldn't offend me if I was asked not to wrap a gift, because one less thing for me to do and I prefer the food/drinks/socializing of a shower more than the gift opening. 

However as @artbyallie said some people will be hurt by not opening the gifts. So just because some people are cool with it, some (or many) won't be and your risk hurting/offending people by not opening their gift. It's one of those things that you have no idea who would or wouldn't be upset so the best thing to do is err on the side of opening and not offending anyone.