DH vent

JaxInBlue

Can I for whine for a minute?  DH and I share a phone plan.  Generally not an issue but somehow this month - alone - he's blown through his allotment of data to the tune of 4GB more than we usually need.  4!

I pay for the plan so we can use my employee discount which is double what his is which means I get all the phone related emails/statements.  Last week, I asked him to lay off the video streaming, music playing, etc. in the car so we could make it to the end of the billing period this Friday.  Apparently, that's too much to ask.  Someone needs to listen to Spotify instead of NPR.   I just got another usage alert that we're going to go over.  I really want to rearrange and hid all his apps so we can get to the end of the week.

pinupbride6189

spockforprez said:

kvruns said:

*Barbie* said:

 

@Heffalump I've gotten to the point on booking something the last couple of times for little weekend trips and telling him to take time off and what to pack. I was delaying on booking our PA trip because of his job situation, and finally was like, "look, it's only getting more expensive, just negotiate the PTO with them if they make you an offer." 



mine: I was on a rampage last Thursday when I went to see one of my doctors and the specialist co-pay had increased 4x what it had been THE DAY BEFORE. After spending a solid 30 minutes on the phone with Cigna, I find out that DK's company changed their plan effective May 1, and yes, this *is* the new co-pay, and I might be on the line for a lot more over the past month, since my neurologist's office had been billing me the old, cheaper, co-pay. So I call DK and he was all, "i think HR sent out something about benefits a while ago - i didn't look at it."

*cue murderous rampage*

So after the appointment, I call Cigna again, and establish that my neurologist has been charging stuff incorrectly for a while, so the EOB for the last 2 months are all screwed up. (I might owe them something, but not as much as I was thinking -I still don't know.)

Also, DK missed open enrollment because he thought it was just for new people to enroll. I was ready to kill him - we've been going to his company for healthcare for the last 4 years and he knows *NOTHING* about it. This headache could have been prevented if he just read his fucking e-mail and told me that there were plan changes. What if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow? He should have some sort of basic understanding of how this stuff works. 

wow you got lucky that they still enrolled him vs saying Charlie you didn't enroll so now you're not going to be covered for the next year.

I think usually they just save whatever options you chose the previous year, right? 

My vent - H doesn't like to buy certain things because he feels like he can make them for cheaper. But he never fucking does. I've been wanting a big ass cat tree for 3+ years and that whole time, every time I bring it up, he goes, "No, don't buy that! I can make it for less than half that price!" Honey, I am sure you CAN. But WILL you?

Let's just put it like this - there's a joke that says, "If a man says he will do something, he will. No need to remind him every six months." H finds that FUCKING HILARIOUS. *violent eyeroll*

Sometimes I feel frustrated with how we are supposed to/not supposed to treat men in general... like, you are not ever supposed to nag at a man because of his masculinity and he craves respect and blah blah. And in my experience, they ALL get mad when nagged. But when they don't fucking do what they are supposed to do and it fucks you over, what choice do you have??? Excuse me, but last I checked, there were two adults in this relationship. Why should I have to tiptoe around your sensitive emotions while important things don't get done? So you nag... and then you are a nagging bitch. So frustrating! H isn't too bad about this kind of thing - he seems to understand that he fucked up by letting it go too long (or whatever it is) - but my brother is awful about it and I feel terrible for his partners.

Girl I hear you.  I waited for 2 years to get a bedside table because he just knew he could make me one from reclaimed pallet wood for super cheap.  He finally actually did it, but I had to go out and find the pallet, it took forever, and it's nice enough, but doesn't go with the rest of our furniture at all.

Just last night H said I was nagging and I called him on it. I told him that he uses that word for everything I say that rubs him the wrong way. "I love that I have a nagging wife!" But if he gets on my case about anything, he's just expressing concern. Eff all that bullshit.

My vent:  He has no idea what bills we have or when they are due. I owned our house before he moved in with me, so I obviously took care of actually paying all the bills.  I don't mind being the one that usually does this. There's a lot of things that he usually does around the house too.  That being said, I just recently got back from being an 8 hour drive away finding us a place to live since we're moving in a couple of weeks. During that time, both the water and power bills came in and were due shortly after their arrival. He didn't even open the envelopes. We also needed to pay the guy that does our lawn treatments, and I specifically asked him to take care of it, but that was also just sitting there waiting for me when I got back. When I brought it up, he said that it had just never been his responsibility. So I told him that if I said the same thing about, say, doing the dishes, he'd lose his shit. So now he thinks that I want him to be the one that pays the bills every other month or something, when in reality all I want is for him to recognize the big picture of what keeps the house hold running, and that sometimes we both might need to take on what the other normally would. That's all.

AddieCake

My husband is no longer traveling for work and insisted we could now cancel our lawn care service because he is home and can do it and save us money. Great. He was supposed to mow the grass over the weekend, and he didn't. The back yard is looking like a jungle because while it needs mowed less frequently than the front, he has ignored it about 2 weeks longer than he should have. 

Tonight, an alarm went off on his phone. He set it to remind himself to do something in a game he's started playing. Seriously? You set alarm reminders for a video game and can't get the grass mowed?!

NavyBlue143

H said he would walk, work out, and cook with me to help me get healthier so we have a better shot at getting pregnant. He's done none of those things. He comes home too late to cook dinner, comes home after dark when it's not safe to walk where we live, and won't work out with me even though I choose workouts he can do with his bad back and knees. I'm so frustrated because I've been working my ass off and still gaining weight, and he's supposed to be helping me. 

He's been working his ass off on weekends remodeling our house so we can sell it, so it's not like he sits around doing nothing, but he only buckled down and seriously started doing that at the beginning of May because he knew I wanted to sell by the 31st. That came and went with no end in sight. Yes he's doing it as fast as he can and working very hard, but if he hadn't waited until the month of we wouldn't be looking at not selling until August now. 

Also, even though he's owned this house since he was 21 (he's 35 now) he didn't know his dad's name was on the deed, and never bothered looking into it, so now we need his estranged father's cooperation to sell, and he's used this house to control H his entire adult life, no way is he going to cooperate when it's his only means of controlling his son and sticking it to me. 

OliveOilsMom

NavyBlue143 said:

H said he would walk, work out, and cook with me to help me get healthier so we have a better shot at getting pregnant. He's done none of those things. He comes home too late to cook dinner, comes home after dark when it's not safe to walk where we live, and won't work out with me even though I choose workouts he can do with his bad back and knees. I'm so frustrated because I've been working my ass off and still gaining weight, and he's supposed to be helping me. 

He's been working his ass off on weekends remodeling our house so we can sell it, so it's not like he sits around doing nothing, but he only buckled down and seriously started doing that at the beginning of May because he knew I wanted to sell by the 31st. That came and went with no end in sight. Yes he's doing it as fast as he can and working very hard, but if he hadn't waited until the month of we wouldn't be looking at not selling until August now. 

Also, even though he's owned this house since he was 21 (he's 35 now) he didn't know his dad's name was on the deed, and never bothered looking into it, so now we need his estranged father's cooperation to sell, and he's used this house to control H his entire adult life, no way is he going to cooperate when it's his only means of controlling his son and sticking it to me. 

To your first paragraph.  You have PCOS, right?  Have you ever had a 3 hour glucose test?  I wonder if you have the same metabolic symptom of PCOS as I do.  I was never able to lose weight, no matter what I did.  My body would take in every calorie and hold onto it, instead of burning it like normal.

We met with a fertility doctor and he ran a whole bunch of tests, including a glucose test.  It turns out I was pre-diabetic. I got started working with a nutritionist and eating 6 times a day, instead of 3.  Since Dec, I have lost 20 pounds.  And that was mostly due to my diet, not exercising.  I do take Metforim but that is only temporary until my pre-diabetic diagnosis reverses itself.  I have another glucose test this Friday to check my current status.  I was close to stopping it a few months ago, so I'm hoping I'm good now.  I will have to continue eating 6 times per day for the rest of my life though.  Also, the change in my diet alone gave me my first non-medically induced period in years.

NavyBlue143

OliveOilsMom said:

 

To your first paragraph.  You have PCOS, right?  Have you ever had a 3 hour glucose test?  I wonder if you have the same metabolic symptom of PCOS as I do.  I was never able to lose weight, no matter what I did.  My body would take in every calorie and hold onto it, instead of burning it like normal.

We met with a fertility doctor and he ran a whole bunch of tests, including a glucose test.  It turns out I was pre-diabetic. I got started working with a nutritionist and eating 6 times a day, instead of 3.  Since Dec, I have lost 20 pounds.  And that was mostly due to my diet, not exercising.  I do take Metforim but that is only temporary until my pre-diabetic diagnosis reverses itself.  I have another glucose test this Friday to check my current status. 

Just the regular glucose and A1c  blood tests, which came back fine. All he did was up my metformin to three times a day. I've started eating smaller meals more often, doing weights instead of cardio, and upping my protein, so we'll see if it helps. I do plan to see a nutritionist.  

OliveOilsMom

NavyBlue143 said:

OliveOilsMom said:

 

To your first paragraph.  You have PCOS, right?  Have you ever had a 3 hour glucose test?  I wonder if you have the same metabolic symptom of PCOS as I do.  I was never able to lose weight, no matter what I did.  My body would take in every calorie and hold onto it, instead of burning it like normal.

We met with a fertility doctor and he ran a whole bunch of tests, including a glucose test.  It turns out I was pre-diabetic. I got started working with a nutritionist and eating 6 times a day, instead of 3.  Since Dec, I have lost 20 pounds.  And that was mostly due to my diet, not exercising.  I do take Metforim but that is only temporary until my pre-diabetic diagnosis reverses itself.  I have another glucose test this Friday to check my current status. 

Just the regular glucose and A1c  blood tests, which came back fine. All he did was up my metformin to three times a day. I've started eating smaller meals more often, doing weights instead of cardio, and upping my protein, so we'll see if it helps. I do plan to see a nutritionist.  

Coming back to this.  I remembered that my GYN got a glucose test (fasting from midnight only) when she started some exploratory tests after a year of TTC on our own, it came back fine.  But when my fertility doctor had me take the 3 hour, where you drink the sugary drink after fasting for 12 hours, that was when you saw the craziness of my blood sugar levels. 

It might be worth it to ask for the 3 hour test (or even the 2 hour one), to fully get a proper diagnosis.  Knowing the proper diagnosis will just give you the knowledge of what you need to know and do for your lifetime and not just while you are TTC.  I hope I don't come off as preachy, I'm just seeing a lot of similarities between you and me.

NavyBlue143

Oh no, I absolutely appreciate the advice! I'll talk to my doctor at my next appointment. 

kylexo

AddieCake said:

My husband is no longer traveling for work and insisted we could now cancel our lawn care service because he is home and can do it and save us money. Great. He was supposed to mow the grass over the weekend, and he didn't. The back yard is looking like a jungle because while it needs mowed less frequently than the front, he has ignored it about 2 weeks longer than he should have. 

Tonight, an alarm went off on his phone. He set it to remind himself to do something in a game he's started playing. Seriously? You set alarm reminders for a video game and can't get the grass mowed?!

If it weren't for the pictures you have posted, I could have sworn you were my sister talking about my BIL, haha.

kerbohl

thisismynickname said:

I have a DH vent this morning. 

People say the first year is the hardest. It wasn't. We're in our second year, and it's harder than the first. In the grand scheme of things I'm probably overreacting but I'm feeling annoyed and offended right now.

I guess we're just in a long-overdue adjustment period. This is the first time we've lived in our place (not my place or his place) and weirdo behaviors have been coming out these past two months that never manifested before. He's called me out on things, but then I'll call him out right back and he can't give examples. (Like, I forget and leave the closet door open and it bothers him, but he doesn't remember to close a closet door 100% of the time either, so WTF?) It's hypocritical and driving me insane. It's just a bunch of little things that are adding up.  UGH. I hate fighting.

I think the bolded is different for everyone.  I've heard people say that their first year was the easiest - for me it was definitely the first year that was the hardest.  
I second all the people who mention DHs who, when you want to buy something, say that they can make it for so much cheaper and then never do it, or put it off forever.  My DH loves to put off buying something in favour of making it... if it's something for me.  If it is for him, half of the time he's bought it before even talking to me, despite it being a purchase he could have just made or gotten something different for significantly cheaper.  I've taken over the finances from him to try and stem the spending, since he was spending more than we were making (also frustrating since I currently make more than he does, and our money goes to his interests and I haven't been able to allocate any towards mine since we got married), and he's started to spend more again.  
The nagging wife thing is also so frustrating - he never remembers what he is supposed to do, and I have to be on him about it all the time, until I finally complain to him about the fact that I have to nag and he finally clues in and gets the picture.  Your sister's birthday is coming up and you need a present, you need to schedule a dentist appointment, you need to do this for work ... honestly, you are an adult, you don't need someone reminding you about  everything!  GAh!

charlotte989875

Big DH vent tonight, we got home after a weekend away with his family. DH always gets the house ready when we go out of town and I take care of packing up he animals. Well he decided to shut off all the electricity before we left, except rather than turning off breakers one at a time to separate rooms he just shuts everything off. Including the refrigerator. So we've been away for 5 days and it's been in the 90s every day. Everything is spoiled the kitchen smells horrific, and he gets mad at me because I'm annoyed about this. Seriously dude how do you get snippy with me because you turned the power off?!  

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

Big DH vent tonight, we got home after a weekend away with his family. DH always gets the house ready when we go out of town and I take care of packing up he animals. Well he decided to shut off all the electricity before we left, except rather than turning off breakers one at a time to separate rooms he just shuts everything off. Including the refrigerator. So we've been away for 5 days and it's been in the 90s every day. Everything is spoiled the kitchen smells horrific, and he gets mad at me because I'm annoyed about this. Seriously dude how do you get snippy with me because you turned the power off?!  

He's defensive because is money saving just cost you far more in food that it would have saved in electricity.    There aren't a lot of people I know who would williningly take their punishment after doing that.   

I would NEVER do that in the colder months.    Be glad you didn't come home to a frozen pipe and a flooded house.  

kerbohl

charlotte989875 said:

Big DH vent tonight, we got home after a weekend away with his family. DH always gets the house ready when we go out of town and I take care of packing up he animals. Well he decided to shut off all the electricity before we left, except rather than turning off breakers one at a time to separate rooms he just shuts everything off. Including the refrigerator. So we've been away for 5 days and it's been in the 90s every day. Everything is spoiled the kitchen smells horrific, and he gets mad at me because I'm annoyed about this. Seriously dude how do you get snippy with me because you turned the power off?!  

That sucks!  Was the stuff in your freezer okay?  Maybe he's snippy because he realized how much he was lacking in common sense when he did this and doesn't want to admit that.  I hope he's at least cleaning out the refrigerator.

bleve0821

charlotte989875 said:

Big DH vent tonight, we got home after a weekend away with his family. DH always gets the house ready when we go out of town and I take care of packing up he animals. Well he decided to shut off all the electricity before we left, except rather than turning off breakers one at a time to separate rooms he just shuts everything off. Including the refrigerator. So we've been away for 5 days and it's been in the 90s every day. Everything is spoiled the kitchen smells horrific, and he gets mad at me because I'm annoyed about this. Seriously dude how do you get snippy with me because you turned the power off?!  

I am very impressed that you were merely annoyed at the situation. I'd have been livid, especially considering what we usually keep in the fridge freezer... And we have a full chest freezer in the garage, as well. 

PrettyGirlLost

AtomicBlonde said:

charlotte989875 said:

Big DH vent tonight, we got home after a weekend away with his family. DH always gets the house ready when we go out of town and I take care of packing up he animals. Well he decided to shut off all the electricity before we left, except rather than turning off breakers one at a time to separate rooms he just shuts everything off. Including the refrigerator. So we've been away for 5 days and it's been in the 90s every day. Everything is spoiled the kitchen smells horrific, and he gets mad at me because I'm annoyed about this. Seriously dude how do you get snippy with me because you turned the power off?!  

I am very impressed that you were merely annoyed at the situation. I'd have been livid, especially considering what we usually keep in the fridge freezer... And we have a full chest freezer in the garage, as well. 

So are you saying that your bodies thawed?  I HATE when that happens!!!!!

bleve0821

PrettyGirlLost said:

AtomicBlonde said:

charlotte989875 said:

Big DH vent tonight, we got home after a weekend away with his family. DH always gets the house ready when we go out of town and I take care of packing up he animals. Well he decided to shut off all the electricity before we left, except rather than turning off breakers one at a time to separate rooms he just shuts everything off. Including the refrigerator. So we've been away for 5 days and it's been in the 90s every day. Everything is spoiled the kitchen smells horrific, and he gets mad at me because I'm annoyed about this. Seriously dude how do you get snippy with me because you turned the power off?!  

I am very impressed that you were merely annoyed at the situation. I'd have been livid, especially considering what we usually keep in the fridge freezer... And we have a full chest freezer in the garage, as well. 

So are you saying that your bodies thawed?  I HATE when that happens!!!!!

I can neither confirm nor deny this. 

charlotte989875

kerbohl said:

charlotte989875 said:

Big DH vent tonight, we got home after a weekend away with his family. DH always gets the house ready when we go out of town and I take care of packing up he animals. Well he decided to shut off all the electricity before we left, except rather than turning off breakers one at a time to separate rooms he just shuts everything off. Including the refrigerator. So we've been away for 5 days and it's been in the 90s every day. Everything is spoiled the kitchen smells horrific, and he gets mad at me because I'm annoyed about this. Seriously dude how do you get snippy with me because you turned the power off?!  

That sucks!  Was the stuff in your freezer okay?  Maybe he's snippy because he realized how much he was lacking in common sense when he did this and doesn't want to admit that.  I hope he's at least cleaning out the refrigerator.

Nope everything is the freezer was bad too. Water and fruit everywhere, tons of spoiled meat and fish. He did clean it all out last. 

AtomicBlonde said:

charlotte989875 said:

Big DH vent tonight, we got home after a weekend away with his family. DH always gets the house ready when we go out of town and I take care of packing up he animals. Well he decided to shut off all the electricity before we left, except rather than turning off breakers one at a time to separate rooms he just shuts everything off. Including the refrigerator. So we've been away for 5 days and it's been in the 90s every day. Everything is spoiled the kitchen smells horrific, and he gets mad at me because I'm annoyed about this. Seriously dude how do you get snippy with me because you turned the power off?!  

I am very impressed that you were merely annoyed at the situation. I'd have been livid, especially considering what we usually keep in the fridge freezer... And we have a full chest freezer in the garage, as well. 

I was trying really hard not to be a bitch after he drove 13 hours. Annoyed was the best I could do. 

OurWildKingdom

FW spent $150 on iTunes. That is all.

spockforprez

OurWildKingdom said:

FW spent $150 on iTunes. That is all.

Oh my lord! That is some serious downloading. I'm hoping it was like 3-4 albums and a couple of movies, and not 125 songs?! lol.

OurWildKingdom

spockforprez said:

OurWildKingdom said:

FW spent $150 on iTunes. That is all.

Oh my lord! That is some serious downloading. I'm hoping it was like 3-4 albums and a couple of movies, and not 125 songs?! lol.

I think it was books and gaming stuff.

kerbohl

OurWildKingdom said:

FW spent $150 on iTunes. That is all.

I feel your pain - hubby spend $800 on gaming this month because I said I was thinking of getting some euros for a future trip.  Now I have no money for euros.  ***bangs head against wall***

ShesSoCold

I've been asking H to schedule our dog's vet appointment for her shots for like two months.

He finally scheduled it. On our anniversary. Is bags of poop the traditional gift for the second year?

glasgowtolondon

ShesSoCold said:

I've been asking H to schedule our dog's vet appointment for her shots for like two months.

He finally scheduled it. On our anniversary. Is bags of poop the traditional gift for the second year?

Depends. Is the bag of poop tied with a festive little ribbon? 

sparklepants41

H is getting a second new iPhone 6S in less than 10 months because he insists on carrying his phone around without a case. And last night while he was out walking the pup he dropped his unprotected phone in the street. 

I have had my - completely scratch/dent/chip/crack free - iPhone 5S for over two years.

If anyone is getting the damn iPhone 7 this fall, it's me.

ShesSoCold

glasgowtolondon said:

ShesSoCold said:

I've been asking H to schedule our dog's vet appointment for her shots for like two months.

He finally scheduled it. On our anniversary. Is bags of poop the traditional gift for the second year?

Depends. Is the bag of poop tied with a festive little ribbon? 

I could make that happen.

glasgowtolondon

ShesSoCold said:

glasgowtolondon said:

ShesSoCold said:

I've been asking H to schedule our dog's vet appointment for her shots for like two months.

He finally scheduled it. On our anniversary. Is bags of poop the traditional gift for the second year?

Depends. Is the bag of poop tied with a festive little ribbon? 

I could make that happen.

Sounds like a celebration to me!