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Tacky to deposit checks the next day?

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Re: Tacky to deposit checks the next day?

  • rebecca+mrebecca+m member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    @luvskittles I am dreading this, a bit, because we are both hyphenating: so not only will there never be a "Bride HisLastName," soon there will not be a "Groom HisLastName," just "Bride and Groom OurLastName." But so far our bank has been pretty reasonable about it, albeit with some silly hoops through which we must jump. I think it helps that any checks are going into a joint account.
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  • luvskittlesluvskittles member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    rebecca+m said:
    @luvskittles I am dreading this, a bit, because we are both hyphenating: so not only will there never be a "Bride HisLastName," soon there will not be a "Groom HisLastName," just "Bride and Groom OurLastName." But so far our bank has been pretty reasonable about it, albeit with some silly hoops through which we must jump. I think it helps that any checks are going into a joint account.
    We didnt have a joint account yet so that was another hurdle. I bet you will have an easier time! Fingers crossed ;) 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    thisismynickname said:
    DrillSergeantCat said:
    Casadena said:
    Honestly, I always think it's pretty tacky to cash it right away.  

    But I guess there's no reason for it other than I personally think it seems kind of gift grabby.  I fully expect when I go to wedding and write a check that it will probably take a couple weeks while you're writing thank you notes, honeymooning, etc.  


    Say you gave a margarita machine instead of a check. Would it be tacky for them to use the next day? You'd never know and even if they called you up and said, "Hey we just poured a perfect pitcher of margaritas from this machine. It's awesome" I doubt you'd have issue with them using it. Why is the fact that it's a check they're using instead make it gift grabby? 

    BOX BOX BOX

    Considering I'm a person who had that reaction to a tacky couple, I'm trying to put the feeling into words. 
    How about this- if you got a lot of boxed gifts at your wedding (or at your shower, and properly didn't use any until after your wedding), what are the odds you're going to use everything that first day? You may unpack the new stuff (and write down what everyone gave you for TY note purposes). Or you may not, because you're damn tired from your reception and just wanna chill / have married sex. You may pick out one or two fun things to try (i.e. the margarita machine or a popcorn maker). But you're not using everything. 
    The same could go for cash and checks. You might put the cash in your personal safe, or put a few twenties in your wallet for odds and ends, or to buy some lunch that next day. I would hope that you have enough funds in your checking account to see you through the next couple of weeks. 
    So to go "running off to the bank" so immediately after a reception makes it seem like you just couldn't wait to use the money. Now then, it's perfectly logical to go the next bank day, or to use a mobile check app as you're opening your cards that next day. Guests want their checks cashed fairly promptly, as many have said. 

    But my one experience was with a couple that was already gift-grabby, treated their bridal party like crap, cheaped out on things... when they went to the bank that early Monday morning, it really felt like icing on the already gift-grabby cake that they just wanted that money ASAP. You know, not even Monday afternoon... Monday morning. Sleep in! Have sex! Make pancakes! Geez. 
    I disagree that cash and checks and the same as boxes gifts. For boxed gifts there's less of a risk of them getting lost or stolen and unlike checks someone is not waiting for you to cash it to have their money withdrawn. 

    I dont like keeping a lot of cash in the house or checks I deposited. I really hate traveling with that, there's too much of a risk that the car gets broken into or a purses/bag gets stolen. So yah I guess if you have a safe on hand and can stash them in there I can kind of see the argument. But many people stay a few nights in a hotel or somewhere else after the wedding and I can definitely understand wanting to deposit potentially large amounts of money quickly. 
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    luvskittles said:
    Slightly OT: I had such an issue cashing my checks because some guests wrote Mrs. Jane Husbands Last Name. My bank was SUPER picky, so we had to wait about 3 weeks while my name change went through. I had some guests texting me to make sure I got their checks (or some angry people that wanted to balance their check book ha). Now I make sure to only write it to one person in the couple. 
    Interesting. 

    I didn't change my last name but had guests assume that I did and they wrote the checks out jointly to my DH and me, with the wrong last name.  We cashed the checks at DH's bank and other than requiring us both being present to endorse the checks in person, the wrong name was inconsequential to them.  I just signed the checks in front of them with the incorrect last name.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If I have a significant amount of £££ in either/both cash and cheque form I'm depositing it as soon as I possibly can. There's no way I'm keeping money on my person or in my house. I can't understand thinking someone gift-grabby simply for doing what I intended for them to do with my gift. My BF bought me a gorgeous necklace when I was her BM, I put it on at the reception because I loved it. I don't think she felt I was gift-grabby because I didn't wait till the following Monday, but maybe she's been side-eyeing me for the past 2yrs  ;)
                 
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  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @thisismynickname I totally understand why you felt that way and I probably would too if everything else felt like a gift grab. I felt like casadena's response was not in reaction to a bad experience, as your was, but more of a blanket statement.
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  • drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I prefer to have checks I've written cashed as soon as possible.  I would rather know at a glance my  bank balance then look up what cleared and what didn't and have to do the math. I write checks expecting them to be cashed.

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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    drunkenwitch said:
    I prefer to have checks I've written cashed as soon as possible.  I would rather know at a glance my  bank balance then look up what cleared and what didn't and have to do the math. I write checks expecting them to be cashed.
    Me too, I do pretty much all my banking online, so I get that.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Another vote for not tacky to cash checks right away.  I and I'm sure most others were taught in Adulting 101 to cash checks (for birthday and other gift-giving events) right away...why would a wedding be any different?
    And the "gift-grabby" aspect doesn't make sense.  Guests aren't required to even give you a wedding gift.  I don't understand what about using/cashing the gift a guest chose to give you after the wedding is gift-grabby.  (The general "you", not OP.)
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  • luvskittlesluvskittles member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    luvskittles said:
    Slightly OT: I had such an issue cashing my checks because some guests wrote Mrs. Jane Husbands Last Name. My bank was SUPER picky, so we had to wait about 3 weeks while my name change went through. I had some guests texting me to make sure I got their checks (or some angry people that wanted to balance their check book ha). Now I make sure to only write it to one person in the couple. 
    Interesting. 

    I didn't change my last name but had guests assume that I did and they wrote the checks out jointly to my DH and me, with the wrong last name.  We cashed the checks at DH's bank and other than requiring us both being present to endorse the checks in person, the wrong name was inconsequential to them.  I just signed the checks in front of them with the incorrect last name.
    My bank was a royal PITA. It just so happened we got the branch manager who was VERY nervous about "breaking rules". We finally got it cashed. Thank god.
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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2016
    climbingwife said:
    If I write someone a check, I'd prefer they cash it right away. I did once give someone a check for a wedding and it didn't clear my account for over a month. That was annoying. 

    We deposited our checks two days after the wedding, before we left for our HM. It's not gift grabby or rude or tacky. 
    I rarely write checks because I hate guessing when they'll clear. For gift-giving occasions, I prefer to give cash or a gift card for that reason. I recently sent a check for a friend's daughter's baptism, and I got my friend's thank-you note a week before the check cleared.
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  • luvskittles55luvskittles55 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    OurWildKingdom said:
    climbingwife said:
    If I write someone a check, I'd prefer they cash it right away. I did once give someone a check for a wedding and it didn't clear my account for over a month. That was annoying. 

    We deposited our checks two days after the wedding, before we left for our HM. It's not gift grabby or rude or tacky. 
    I rarely write checks because I hate guessing when they'll clear. For gift-giving occasions, I prefer to give cash or a gift card for that reason. I recently sent a check for a friend's daughter's baptism, and I got my friend's thank-you note a week before the check cleared.
    Does anyone else have a phobia of giving cash (in case it gets stolen) other than me? At least with a check you can cancel it. ha!
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  • Vivandiere8Vivandiere8 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    We cashed ours the very next morning because we were on our way to the airport for our honeymoon and weren't about to make people wait around a week to have the cash taken from their accounts.

     Plain and simple next day is going to make the most sense for the majority of couples.
    image
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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Chiming in as another one who HATES when checks I write sit around. I write so few checks these days, it's easy to forget about one. Not at all gift-grabby. I would feel like you were being polite to the people who gave you the check as well as ensuring the check didn't get lost etc.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    luvskittles55 said:
    OurWildKingdom said:
    climbingwife said:
    If I write someone a check, I'd prefer they cash it right away. I did once give someone a check for a wedding and it didn't clear my account for over a month. That was annoying. 

    We deposited our checks two days after the wedding, before we left for our HM. It's not gift grabby or rude or tacky. 
    I rarely write checks because I hate guessing when they'll clear. For gift-giving occasions, I prefer to give cash or a gift card for that reason. I recently sent a check for a friend's daughter's baptism, and I got my friend's thank-you note a week before the check cleared.
    Does anyone else have a phobia of giving cash (in case it gets stolen) other than me? At least with a check you can cancel it. ha!
    I still give cash (often over a cheque), but I do worry. Once I gave a large cash gift in a card, placed in the card box. Did not received a TY note for quite some time, so part of me wondered, "Uh? Did you get the money??". Of course the issue here is not promptly sending a TY note ;), but still.
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  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    SP29 said:
    I still give cash (often over a cheque), but I do worry. Once I gave a large cash gift in a card, placed in the card box. Did not received a TY note for quite some time, so part of me wondered, "Uh? Did you get the money??". Of course the issue here is not promptly sending a TY note ;), but still.
    What would you do in that situation if you hadn't gotten a TY note? Would you ask or just let it go assuming it was stolen?
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    DrillSergeantCat said:
    SP29 said:
    I still give cash (often over a cheque), but I do worry. Once I gave a large cash gift in a card, placed in the card box. Did not received a TY note for quite some time, so part of me wondered, "Uh? Did you get the money??". Of course the issue here is not promptly sending a TY note ;), but still.
    What would you do in that situation if you hadn't gotten a TY note? Would you ask or just let it go assuming it was stolen?
    You should definitely ask.

    A check was lost at my reception.  I didn't even know of its existence because my friend forgot the card back at the hotel, so she just slipped the check in the card box loose.  My card box was the largest of these houses, sprayed rose gold to match my centerpieces: http://www.hobbylobby.com/Scrapbook-Paper-Crafts/Mixed-Media/Paper-Mache/Paper-Mache-House-Shape-Set/p/21736

    So it's possible the loose check could have fallen out when we were carrying the box up to the room at the end of the night or transporting it to the apartment the next day.

    A few months later my friend was in town and she asked me if I ever got the check since it had never been debited from her account and she didn't get a thank you note.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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