meh, I need to vent a little

ericasm0703

I went to MW yesterday with FI after he got off work so we could pick out suits. Ever since we got engaged, he's been saying he wanted the guys to wear gray suits and so I suggested color palettes with gray in them for us to decide on. He liked the burnt orange, gold, gray and navy blue best. The girls have ordered all of their dresses (navy) and 4 of the 5 dresses have arrived. Fast forward to yesterday, FI takes one look at the suit he's been pining after and says, "I hate it; I really don't want to wear that." So the woman there showed him some different gray suits, and he said no to all of them. He "no longer wants to wear gray because he doesn't think they will look good." I asked him what he wanted to wear and he pointed to a black tuxedo on a mannequin and said "that one." Okay, fine. He tried it on; it looks great and I can see that he likes how he looks in it. I want him to be comfortable in whatever he's wearing, but now I hate my colors. I think that black, gold, navy and orange will look terrible; I toyed with dropping orange from the palette, but I'm still not sold on navy, black and gold. Should I drop the gold for silver? I've already started printing our invitations which have a gold foil on them, but I can easily take the other packs back and exchange them. With the exception of the food, our wedding planning is (was) done, so I'm a little bummed. I realize it's irrational, but I needed to get it off my chest. Plus, I never thought we would go from a more laid-back wedding with gray suits to a fancier affair with black tuxedos (pleated shirts, and bow ties included).

charlotte989875

ericasm0703 said:

I went to MW yesterday with FI after he got off work so we could pick out suits. Ever since we got engaged, he's been saying he wanted the guys to wear gray suits and so I suggested color palettes with gray in them for us to decide on. He liked the burnt orange, gold, gray and navy blue best. The girls have ordered all of their dresses (navy) and 4 of the 5 dresses have arrived. Fast forward to yesterday, FI takes one look at the suit he's been pining after and says, "I hate it; I really don't want to wear that." So the woman there showed him some different gray suits, and he said no to all of them. He "no longer wants to wear gray because he doesn't think they will look good." I asked him what he wanted to wear and he pointed to a black tuxedo on a mannequin and said "that one." Okay, fine. He tried it on; it looks great and I can see that he likes how he looks in it. I want him to be comfortable in whatever he's wearing, but now I hate my colors. I think that black, gold, navy and orange will look terrible; I toyed with dropping orange from the palette, but I'm still not sold on navy, black and gold. Should I drop the gold for silver? I've already started printing our invitations which have a gold foil on them, but I can easily take the other packs back and exchange them. With the exception of the food, our wedding planning is (was) done, so I'm a little bummed. I realize it's irrational, but I needed to get it off my chest. Plus, I never thought we would go from a more laid-back wedding with gray suits to a fancier affair with black tuxedos (pleated shirts, and bow ties included).

Navy is a great choice for a color (and not just because I did the same thing) but because it fits well with a lot of other colors. It will work with gold or with silver and look really sharp next to tuxedoes. What were you using the orange for? Flowers or accents? I think you can keep that and it will all look great. 

Its a bummer he's changing his mind now, especially after you have everything set. I really do think it will look great just swapping out the suits for tuxes. Had the GM already purchased/rented suits? That would be the only potential problem I could see. 

ericasm0703

The orange was predominantly in the flowers, but it wasn't a major focal point - some dahlias and roses spread throughout basically. The guys haven't purchased/rented anything yet. It really isn't that tragic, I promise I realize that. I'm just caught up in the feels right now and want an outsider's opinion because if I hear "it's your day" one more time I might lose it.

charlotte989875

I totally understand, and your post definitely didn't come off as you thought this was tragic, but I'm sure it's got to be frustrating. How far out is your wedding? Do you think he'll change his mind again? 

I wonder if adding more color will help? I attached a copy of our flowers and dress, I loved the orange and reds with the navy, but adding some yellow and green actually made it look more cohesive. And that way you could do any color for the guys bouts (if you're doing them). In the pic one BM has gold jewelry one has silver. 

Are the BM dress long or short? 

kimmiinthemitten

I personally love navy and gold. You could swap out the orange for a blush colored flowered to add some balance.  FI was anti pink but liked how muted blush was. 

OurWildKingdom

Sorry about your FH acting like a PITA.

I think a coral, navy, black, and gold palette would look really classy. The coral would still be orangey but not as intense.

Also, @charlotte989875 has the right idea; some accents of sunny yellow and maybe a sage green would make it even more cohesive. In small doses, silver and gold are practically neutrals, so silver would look fine with any palette.

STARMOON44

I think black sounds better with your color palate than grey! 

SP29

Haha- I get being frustrated. "All you could talk about was grey, and NOW you want black!?!?". But in the end, it'll all work out fine.

Black, navy and gold will go great together. I get that it looks more formal than you initially imagined. I really like kimmi's idea of swapping out the orange for blush, that would really soften the whole look.

ericasm0703

Sorry for the delay in response, we've been getting dispatched from one call to the next today. Our wedding is October 15, and he has zero desire to budge on the situation - I've tried to get him to do plain shirts instead of pleated and I was only able to win the "argument" for our dads. The bridesmaid dresses are long chiffon and the girls picked whichever style dress they wanted/liked. These are all really great suggestions and I never even thought of changing the color or adding colors to make it cohesive. Thanks all!

ILoveBeachMusic

Totally agree with everyone that it will look great together (I get your frustration though). Don't even worry about your invitations. They don't have to match your colors that your WP and FI are wearing.

drglitter

I think black, navy and gold sound great together. I second switching the orange accents to blush, or lilac, or something along those lines.

ETF a typo

spockforprez

charlotte989875 said:

I attached a copy of our flowers and dress, I loved the orange and reds with the navy, but adding some yellow and green actually made it look more cohesive. 

Whoa! Stunning!