Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Reverse unity candle ceremony

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Re: Reverse unity candle ceremony

  • Is that blog writer selling candles and/or drip protectors? Because why else would they be so gushy about someone else's wedding?
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    DrillSergeantCatcowgirl8238InLoveInQueens
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia
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    I didn't read all the comments, sorry. My cousin did this. She and her husband went from aisle to aisle lighting the candle at the end, and the flame was passed that way. It was really lovely. I was somewhat nervous because I was holding a bouquet and a candle, but it worked out okay! 

    I saw some negative comments; it's literally exactly like a candlelight service that is done for Christmas or other special days in churches, etc. Yes, "fire!" But this is a commonplace thing that, done in the proper setting, is pretty safe. Outside in a field? No. Inside a church? Yes. 

    I wouldn't have people carry the candles to the reception. That is too complicated and risky. Just blow them out and toss them in a basket like normal.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    OurWildKingdom
  • Viczaesar said:
    I can't believe all the negative comments I just read regarding the reverse unity! This is the first thread that I read negativity. Personally, I think it is an awesome idea! I am actually doing it for my wedding next month. The few people that I have spoke with that got to participate in a reverse unity at a wedding only had amazing things to say. I will attach one to the end of my comment. 

    So, when I spoke with our church regarding us doing this, they said they just had someone do it and have another in October and how beautiful it is! They are even giving us candles to use and we have 240 people. You can buy the drip protectors off Amazon for $9.99 for 100! We are having our nephews pass out our programs along with a candle to each adult guest as they walk into the Ceremony. My fiance and I will light our candles from the pastor, and then each of us will go down the pew's and light each outside person's candle and then they are going to pass it along and light the person next to them. While we are doing this, we have a soloist singing one of our favorite songs to give our guests a little entertainment. We then will dim the lights and have our pastor read a beautiful reading that not only unites my fiance and I as husband and wife but all of our guests as well.  The result is a magical room of candlelight that unites the bride and groom with their family and friends. 

    So, my opinion? Do it! It is going to be gorgeous! Unity candles and sand are so over done! It will be a great experience for you and all your attendees :)

    Here is a short and sweet blog I came across:

    I had the wonderful opportunity to be apart of something truly beautiful.

    At an already stunning ceremony the bride and groom took their separate unity candles and came into the pews where their guests sat and lite the candles of their guests seated closest to the aisle and then like a beautiful wave of light the guests lite, one-by-one the candles of the person seated next to them.

    I swear their was not a dry eye in the house and everyone felt like they weren’t just a guest but they were apart, a participant in the breathtaking ceremony.

    I want to hear more about this "uniting...all of our guests as well."  When I attend a wedding ceremony I'm happy to witness the happy couple being united in matrimony.  I am not agreeing to being united in any way with either the couple or the other guests in attendance.  Consent is important!
    Yeah, that's what makes me the most uncomfortable, I'm there to support you in your union, not join it.
    DrillSergeantCatOurWildKingdomCMGragainmollybarker11
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited August 2016
    Uniting of the guests?  Gosh, back in the 1970s, we called it a "Love-in", or "Hippie Love Fest".  As I recall they used candles, but the uniting ceremony involved more weed than candle wax.  My sister had one after her wedding ceremony.  I did not attend.
    Sorry, I couldn't resist!  This thread is funny.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    Uniting of the guests?  Gosh, back in the 1970s, we called it a "Love-in", or "Hippie Love Fest".  As I recall they used candles, but the uniting ceremony involved more weed than candle wax.  My sister had one after her wedding ceremony.  I did not attend.
    Sorry, I couldn't resist!  This thread is funny.
    Probably something slightly different than what occurred in the '70's...

    Not sure what knottie# is planning on having her pastor say, but all of the descriptions that I've read of it (and what I was thinking) was more along the lines of acknowledging that the guests are part of your community and to help support the bride and groom in their new marriage. Not unite everyone all together. 
    OurWildKingdom
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
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    @Ironring
    the idea really does sound lovely and I think it would be feasible with a small ceremony. I would think it would take too long with more than 30 people in attendance. I seem to remember at one of the last weddings I went to the pastor saying something along the lines of "everyone here is important to the bride and groom and they ask that you support them in their marriage" or something. 
  • @DrillSergeantCat thanks for reminding me of that! I was at a wedding once where the pastor said something along the lines of "will you, as members of the couples larger community support them, emotionally and spiritually, in this marriage" and everyone answered "we will". Maybe we will talk to our pastor about doing something similar. 
    DrillSergeantCatILoveBeachMusicOurWildKingdom
  • sheesh ripped you a new one lol. i liked the idea !
  • MrsBtoBe said:
    sheesh ripped you a new one lol. i liked the idea !
    1. No one ripped anyone a new anything. OP asked for issues she may not have thought of so she could make an informed decision. She received responses and made her decision.

    2. This thread is from July.


    Am I the first to point out that "reverse unity" just makes me think of "separation"? I don't hate the idea (although I don't see the point in ceremoniously uniting all your guests), but it does need a better name!

    DrillSergeantCat
  • I went to a wedding that did this once! It was a fairly small wedding, which I think was one of the reasons it worked. They had the little drip protector things on the candles, and there were no issues with smoke detectors going off or someone starting on fire. It did provide lovely photos, however I will admit it was a bit awkward as a guest. Weddings aren't typically "group participation" events, so walking up to the front of the church was a bit weird.

    If you like the look of your friends & family all around you for photos, Imay I suggest a sparkler exit? The last wedding I went to did that. The DJ made an announcement and we all went outside the building, on either side of the door. Someone (wedding planner?) gave us all these huge sparklers and we lit them down the line. The bride and groom walked through the line of their friends & family and into their car. The pictures were gorgeous and it was pretty fun :)
  • A little late to this party... but jeez so many ladies responding to your post are drinking some serious Haterade- lolz. My husband and I did this at our wedding in November and it was incredible. Easily the most magical and special part of our ceremony! We had an intimate wedding, well... intimate for us (80 guests), it was destination in New Orleans. Our ceremony was in the evening and it was just gorgeous. We are very close with our family and friends (almost everyone in attendance knew everyone else) and felt strongly about incorporating the reverse unity candle into our ceremony as we felt it symbolized the support and coming together of our entire "community" not just family, but also friends- joining us and supporting us in our new journey as husband and wife. Our moms still lit the family candles at the beginning of the service, we lit the unity candle when it was time and then went row by row to light the candles of our guests. I've included an image (I cried when I saw the pictures, they are so beautiful! I had no idea they'd turn out like that).

    Some things to think about:

    1. Run it by your venue first!! We actually got married in an old gas lantern shop, so they had several flames going anyway (maybe why they were so cool with the idea :)
    2. Consider the kids. Our ceremony was adults-only, so we didn't have to worry about this one. Kids of course increase the liability of having open flames
    3. Keep it brief. Like I said, we only had 80 guests, so we moved row by row fairly quickly and as soon as we returned to the front of the room, we prayed everyone was instructed by our officiant blew out their flames
    4. We went with "vigil" candles, purchased on Amazon. Similar to what you'd have at a Christmas Eve service. They came with the little circular piece of cardboard that rests about half way up the candle. We put them on the candles ahead of time and handed them out to guests along with their programs when they came in. Because they were assembled ahead of time (taking out the guess work) no wax was dripped, everything was caught on the cardboard pieces.

    5.... Go for it! I can't recommend it enough. It was absolutely magical and I will treasure it forever <3
  • This link has not been active since September.  It is irritating when someone resurrects an old thread just to comment.  Please check the date before digging up a zombie thread.
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    DrillSergeantCat
  • edited January 27
    This thread actually populates to the top on Google (Still.... Today. It didn't stop in September) any time you type in "reverse unity candle" so now anytime someone searches, they can read all of our suggestions. This was a highlight from our wedding, so would love for other people to be able to read about our experience and learn. Good thing your cat picture is cute, because your comments are kind of rude.
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited January 28
    This thread actually populates to the top on Google (Still.... Today. It didn't stop in September) any time you type in "reverse unity candle" so now anytime someone searches, they can read all of our suggestions. This was a highlight from our wedding, so would love for other people to be able to read about our experience and learn. Good thing your cat picture is cute, because your comments are kind of rude.
    The only rude thing is your rejection of my good advice.  You will not make many friends here if this is your attitude.  Again, please check the date before digging up an old thread.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    DrillSergeantCat
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