So...weekly spelling tests?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence, 
I’ve been dating a sweet, funny, caring man for a year. I think marriage is in our future. I love everything about him, except for one thing that drives me crazy. He CAN’T SPELL ANYTHING. Every text, email, letter I’ve seen him write (his job doesn’t involve writing, thank goodness) has the majority of words severely misspelled. He can read just fine and is not dyslexic. He’s just never made an effort to learn how to spell. Is it unreasonable to ask him to work on this so I’m not peeved by every word he writes? Or is this something I have to learn to accept? Prudie, I’ve been with this guy for a year and he doesn’t know how to spell my last name.

—Can’t Spell

charlotte989875

He should learn how to spell her name, and she should learn to let the rest of it go. 

bleve0821

FFS spelling is not the end-all-be-all.  DH is a fucking horrible speller.  We argue constantly about grammar (he's always wrong).  I still married the guy.  I didn't know how to spell his last name until 6 months after we started dating.

Let it go.

mrsconn23

I agree that he should know how to spell her name, but it depends on if it's Johnson or something, you know...Polish.  My sister's married name is Polish and I have to spell it out in my head every.single.time.  My BIL has been around since they were in Jr. High. 

DH is a horrific speller and I am forever correcting his spelling/grammar on FB posts and if he's working on something professionally, he's always asking me to proofread for him.  He does fine with spoken grammar (as we both correct the kiddo's grammar all.the.time), but spelling is not his strong suit. 

He calls me his 'spellcheck with boobs'.  

missJeanLouise

I am the terrible speller in my house. It's sad because I read constantly. I can recognize that I am spelling it wrong but I can not, for the life of me, figure out how to put the letters together correctly.   
Thankfully, FH loves me anyway.

baconsmom

Oh FFS, spelling is a parlor trick. I'm great at spelling. It clicks for me. Doesn't make me smarter than anyone else.

H and Bacon are terrible spellers. Just turrible. It's never bothered me - H uses spellcheck and me for his work, and Bacon uses spellcheck. 

If this is the only thing wrong with this guy? Lock that shit down, yo, and maybe find a problem that actually needs solving to put your energy behind. 

Heffalump

I agree that spelling is NBD.  But I also think if it's driving her crazy, maybe it's not the spelling.  Maybe it's him, and the spelling is just the excuse. 

OurWildKingdom

FW is a terrible speller and always asks me how to spell things. It doesn't bother me at all. 

*Barbie*

DK is awful with spelling. I tease him about it when he inadvertently uses the wrong word because he doesn't know how to spell the word correctly, and spellcheck doesn't know the difference. (e.g. descent instead of decent).

Last name concern goes completely out the window if it's Polish. I didn't figure out how to sign DK's last name until we were cashing wedding checks. (I could spell it by the time we got married, but the cursive part escaped me. What drunken asshat came up with a cursive "z"?)

DrillSergeantCat

*Barbie* said:

DK is awful with spelling. I tease him about it when he inadvertently uses the wrong word because he doesn't know how to spell the word correctly, and spellcheck doesn't know the difference. (e.g. descent instead of decent).

Last name concern goes completely out the window if it's Polish. I didn't figure out how to sign DK's last name until we were cashing wedding checks. (I could spell it by the time we got married, but the cursive part escaped me. What drunken asshat came up with a cursive "z"?)

That's my favorite cursive letter! Capital Q, though? Can't do it. 

ShesSoCold

MesmrEwe

I married an editor - so you can guess how spell check works in our house...  I also have a functionally illiterate 16yo niece and does the spelling issue drive all of us in the family BSC!  The deal breaker here with the LW is that he's not spelling her name correctly.  Either time for spelling class or time to spell out the end of the relationship. 

*Barbie*

@ShesSoCold i actually made a Billy Madison comment at the bank

MissKittyDanger

I'm really good at writing/grammar and often am asked to proof things, but I was always good at it. {hidden talent?}

Anyways .... I know adults who are unable to spell and yes it irks me because it's a pet peeve, but it's more of a whatever situation. LW's H doesn't have a job that requires it, so I guess that's fine. If LW is that concerned, maybe she should talk to him. Maybe he's dyslexic?


Also ..... agreed with EVERYONE lower case z's are evil.

kimmiinthemitten

I can handle misspelled words way better than the misuse of "seen."  If LW was complaining about that, I'd encourage her to leave.

AmandaKess

If his grammar is fine I think I'd let it go. How often are you reading notes? Most people don't seem to use proper spelling in texts anyway so I feel like I'd probably let it go.

banana468

Is it spelling or incorrect use of words?  IMO there's a bignore difference between how to spell pretense vs. knowing when to use your and you're.   

bleve0821

banana468 said:

Is it spelling or incorrect use of words?  IMO there's a bignore difference between how to spell pretense vs. knowing when to use your and you're.   

I was actually just thinking about this not 5 minutes ago.  "Thier" is a misspelling.  Using "their" when you meant "they're" is grammatical.  IMO.

ernursej

I'm a horrible speller (I was a phonics kid) and I also butcher foreign language words all the time. FI is great speller and speaks 5 languages fluently. We had a talk shortly after getting together that was basically a "stop correcting my foreign pronunciation and I'll work on my spelling". Spell check is my friend. I also use other words when I'm not entirely sure about how to spell something.

I think "Can't Spell" needs to have a conversation with FI and figure out a compromise. I tend to think of those that can spell and speak languages as smarter but I'm learning that speaking languages and having perfect spelling only means that you are smart in one aspect. I can do all sorts of medical things that FI can't. I'm smarter in that aspect.

OurWildKingdom

ernursej said:

I'm a horrible speller (I was a phonics kid) and I also butcher foreign language words all the time. FI is great speller and speaks 5 languages fluently. We had a talk shortly after getting together that was basically a "stop correcting my foreign pronunciation and I'll work on my spelling". Spell check is my friend. I also use other words when I'm not entirely sure about how to spell something.

I think "Can't Spell" needs to have a conversation with FI and figure out a compromise. I tend to think of those that can spell and speak languages as smarter but I'm learning that speaking languages and having perfect spelling only means that you are smart in one aspect. I can do all sorts of medical things that FI can't. I'm smarter in that aspect.

So much this. I have a bachelor's in English, but FW is as smart as or smarter than I am in some other aspects.

drunkenwitch

BF does a few things that annoy tbe shit out of me. But they are really minor. It never involves how he talks to me or treats me. So I remind myself to take a breath and think "if him leaving a coffee cup on the end table  instead of putting in the sink is THE most annoying thing he does, I can totally let that go".