Many of you know that my 34 year old son is severely ADD. He is an employed computer software engineer and owns his single family three bedroom home.
We visited last month. I was shocked beyond words. He is living in filth. Two years ago he moved into a pristine house with all new carpet and Perego wood flooring. It appears that he has never vacuumed or cleaned it. The floors are covered with fast food remnants, bits and pieces of his projects, and - yes- I saw cat poop. The aroma of cat pee hits you in the face when you walk in the front door, which is off its hinges.
I said nothing. I didn't have to. He knew. He took us out to a lovely restaurant, and we tried to have a non-judgmental pleasant evening.
DH and I want to help him. We are considering flying back and tacking the cleanup ourselves. We would also hire a company to come in to treat the floors and carpet. Dad wants to organize the house full of projects into the basement by buying metal storage shelves, and labeling boxes. I would sort his clothes and tackle the kitchen, which currently has a huge piece of plywood on saw horses in it for some project. After we finished, he would hire a maid to come in weekly and keep things under control.
As it is, daughter refuses to let her children near the house, as she feels it is unsafe for them. He is invited over to her house for dinner occasionally.
What should we do? I did not realize that his ADD was affecting his life this much. He is trapped inside this pile of filth and mess. He loves his cat, and I wouldn't suggest that he get rid of it, just to give it better care. I am not trying to control his life, but I want to help him.