Silencing cell phones?

oywiththepoodles

I understand how unplugged ceremony requests are rude (and have seen the recent thread on that particular topic), and completely agree.

However, I'd be curious to know if it is acceptable for our officiant to ask guests to silence their cell phones about 2-3 min before the start of the ceremony? She won't be asking them to put them away, just a friendly reminder to silence their phones, as the ceremony is about to begin. I have seen this announcement at quite a few recent weddings, and I personally always appreciate it (since I can be a bit scatterbrained, particularly if I'm greeting family and friends that I haven't seen in ages, and also since it gives me indication that the ceremony is likely about to start. However, I wanted to see if this request in and of itself was considered rude, or acceptable?

(Note: I looked through some past threads to see if there was discussion on this, but everything I found was either really old, or more about the topic of "unplugged" requests, as opposed to a silence-your-cell-phones announcement).

Thanks!

ShesSoCold

I don't see anything wrong with it.

STARMOON44

I think it's perfectly fine, and I love your name. 

charlotte989875

I have no problem with this; it happens before movies, theater, other events, etc. and ringing phones is annoying not just to the couple but to other guests. I say it's fine. 

climbingsingle

I think it's fine to ask people to silence their phones. 

cowgirl8238

This doesn't seem to bother anyone as long as its a quick, "please remember to silence your cell phone". 

AddieCake

Wouldn't bother me. I just hate that we, as a society, even need to BE reminded of this in certain situations. 

SaintPaulGal

I'm with everyone else; I think it's completely fine.

NBSquared2017

I agree with PP! I cosign with @AddieCake! It's sad we need someone to remind us!

geebee908

I admit to being one of those people who will forget from time to time to silence my phone before an event, so I do appreciate the reminder.

ksulaski

We are planning on adding a reminder in our ceremony script. I think it is perfectly acceptable because sometimes people do forget.

oywiththepoodles

Thank you everyone!!! Sounds like everyone is on the same page. :-)  Glad I'm not the only one who is occasionally forgetful...

aurianna

Am I the only one that would feel a bit annoyed to be told to mute my phone? I'm not an inconsiderate idiot. I mute my phone before weddings, church, movies, meetings, etc. It's the proper thing to do and I know to do it and if I were told to do it before a wedding I'd roll my eyes.
In the grand scheme it would be a very small thing and wouldn't greatly impact my experience but it would still annoy me.

Now... That said, once I went to a friend's ordination and it was at 8:30 on a Saturday which was before I tended to wake up. I did have my phone on vibrate... but that didn't stop my alarm clock from going off at 9am. Whoops.

Jen4948

It wouldn't bother me to be told to mute my phone because I might have left it on and just not realized it. It's not a hill to die on.

ernursej

I'm usually good about remember to turn off my phone but I have been caught by the reminder and felt very glad there was a reminder. I would never want to be that person who didn't and interrupted a ceremony.

STARMOON44

aurianna said:

Am I the only one that would feel a bit annoyed to be told to mute my phone? I'm not an inconsiderate idiot. I mute my phone before weddings, church, movies, meetings, etc. It's the proper thing to do and I know to do it and if I were told to do it before a wedding I'd roll my eyes.
In the grand scheme it would be a very small thing and wouldn't greatly impact my experience but it would still annoy me.

Now... That said, once I went to a friend's ordination and it was at 8:30 on a Saturday which was before I tended to wake up. I did have my phone on vibrate... but that didn't stop my alarm clock from going off at 9am. Whoops.

Wait seriously? You'd be annoyed even though you've failed to do it in the past? That's ridiculous. 

aurianna

STARMOON44 said:

aurianna said:

Am I the only one that would feel a bit annoyed to be told to mute my phone? I'm not an inconsiderate idiot. I mute my phone before weddings, church, movies, meetings, etc. It's the proper thing to do and I know to do it and if I were told to do it before a wedding I'd roll my eyes.
In the grand scheme it would be a very small thing and wouldn't greatly impact my experience but it would still annoy me.

Now... That said, once I went to a friend's ordination and it was at 8:30 on a Saturday which was before I tended to wake up. I did have my phone on vibrate... but that didn't stop my alarm clock from going off at 9am. Whoops.

Wait seriously? You'd be annoyed even though you've failed to do it in the past? That's ridiculous. 

That's the thing. My phone was muted. Alarm clock goes off regardless.
Now, at I events, unprompted, not only do I verify it's on silent, I verify I have no timers/alarms set.

Should the celebrant also tell people to check their alarms in addition to telling them to silence the phone?


ETA: It would annoy me. But I wouldn't find people and talk about how bad it was. I wouldn't let it spoil the event. I'd just have a flash of thought that it's annoying being told to do something I've already done / plan on doing. Just being honest that I find that kind of thing irritating. Not trying to talk OP out of anything because it's in no way a big deal. Just being honest about how that kind of thing irks me. /shrug.

InLoveInQueens

aurianna said:

Am I the only one that would feel a bit annoyed to be told to mute my phone? I'm not an inconsiderate idiot. I mute my phone before weddings, church, movies, meetings, etc. It's the proper thing to do and I know to do it and if I were told to do it before a wedding I'd roll my eyes.
In the grand scheme it would be a very small thing and wouldn't greatly impact my experience but it would still annoy me.

Now... That said, once I went to a friend's ordination and it was at 8:30 on a Saturday which was before I tended to wake up. I did have my phone on vibrate... but that didn't stop my alarm clock from going off at 9am. Whoops.

It's not like they single you out and say "@aurianna, mute your phone!". My phone is on mute except for very specific situations, the only thing I think when someone reminds a group to mute their phones is "good thing I don't have to be reminded" and plenty of people are both inconsiderate and idiots. But people are also forgetful, and needing a reminder to silence your phone doesn't make you an "inconsiderate idiot" and not needing the reminder because you're a perfect princess (despite then giving an example where you did exactly what people are trying to avoid) doesn't mean they're useless.

ernursej

scribe95 said:

Do you also get offended at the movie theater when they say to silence phones?

A guys phone went off in the movie theatre (during the movie, not the trailers) and he sat there talking on it. I told him to take it outside and he told me I was being rude. Gah! I told him to get out or I was getting an employee ... then he left.

aurianna

InLoveInQueens said:

It's not like they single you out and say "@aurianna, mute your phone!". My phone is on mute except for very specific situations, the only thing I think when someone reminds a group to mute their phones is "good thing I don't have to be reminded" and plenty of people are both inconsiderate and idiots. But people are also forgetful, and needing a reminder to silence your phone doesn't make you an "inconsiderate idiot" and not needing the reminder because you're a perfect princess (despite then giving an example where you did exactly what people are trying to avoid) doesn't mean they're useless.

Again, I did tick my phone to silent. Apparently my alarm clock doesn't prescribe to that (probably so that at night your phone doesn't ring and wake you up, but your alarm does go off in the morning to wake you up).
Being reminded to silence my phone would not have kept my alarm clock from going off that morning.
I just mentioned it in case anyone else ever goes to an event earlier in the morning than they tend to wake up and wouldn't normally think about a reoccurring alarm clock going off. I didn't mean to make it sound like I think I'm above the rules.

It doesn't bother me in a movie theater. A movie theater is full of random people in the general public who may or may not be forgetful/inconsiderate. As the people in the room are paying customers, phones could detract from the experience the other people have paid for. I'm sure they've done market research and realize that people will be more mad if phones go off than if they are reminded to turn them off so they roll with it.
But a wedding is not a movie theater / business and it's not full of random people expecting their money's worth. It's full of invited guests that I'd personally give the benefit of the doubt that they'd know to turn off their phones before a wedding.

The whole thing, not a big deal. Didn't mean to make it seem like it was. Being asked to silence phones only happened at one of the many weddings I've been to, and while I remember thinking "do they think we're stupid?" I couldn't even tell you whose wedding it was, so obviously it didn't leave a lasting impression of the hosts on me. OP can do what she wants. I just personally think it's unnecessary and could give guests the impression that you don't think they'd be considerate on their own. But I'm pretty judgmental and will own it.

Alaska_RockGirl

A reminder is totally worth it, but don't be surprised if not everyone follows instructions. A wedding I attended had the reminder given and a phone still rang.

lyndausvi

aurianna said:

InLoveInQueens said:

It's not like they single you out and say "@aurianna, mute your phone!". My phone is on mute except for very specific situations, the only thing I think when someone reminds a group to mute their phones is "good thing I don't have to be reminded" and plenty of people are both inconsiderate and idiots. But people are also forgetful, and needing a reminder to silence your phone doesn't make you an "inconsiderate idiot" and not needing the reminder because you're a perfect princess (despite then giving an example where you did exactly what people are trying to avoid) doesn't mean they're useless.

Again, I did tick my phone to silent. Apparently my alarm clock doesn't prescribe to that (probably so that at night your phone doesn't ring and wake you up, but your alarm does go off in the morning to wake you up).
Being reminded to silence my phone would not have kept my alarm clock from going off that morning.
I just mentioned it in case anyone else ever goes to an event earlier in the morning than they tend to wake up and wouldn't normally think about a reoccurring alarm clock going off. I didn't mean to make it sound like I think I'm above the rules.

It doesn't bother me in a movie theater. A movie theater is full of random people in the general public who may or may not be forgetful/inconsiderate. As the people in the room are paying customers, phones could detract from the experience the other people have paid for. I'm sure they've done market research and realize that people will be more mad if phones go off than if they are reminded to turn them off so they roll with it.
But a wedding is not a movie theater / business and it's not full of random people expecting their money's worth. It's full of invited guests that I'd personally give the benefit of the doubt that they'd know to turn off their phones before a wedding.

The whole thing, not a big deal. Didn't mean to make it seem like it was. Being asked to silence phones only happened at one of the many weddings I've been to, and while I remember thinking "do they think we're stupid?" I couldn't even tell you whose wedding it was, so obviously it didn't leave a lasting impression of the hosts on me. OP can do what she wants. I just personally think it's unnecessary and could give guests the impression that you don't think they'd be considerate on their own. But I'm pretty judgmental and will own it.

Weddings are full of random people put together to witness a mutual friend/family member's wedding.   Just because they are an invited guest doesn't mean they are immune to being forgetful or just become distracted from saying hello to everyone to remember to turn off the phone.

 Just because I didn't pay money to attend the event, doesn't mean I will not get annoyed at people who forget to silence their phones.

There is nothing wrong or rude about a gentle reminder to make sure your phones are on silence.