Dear Prudence,
My mother is truly unhinged. After my dad died, my mom sold their condo and moved in with us. It’s been more than seven years now. She hates my husband and has always had issues with co-workers, neighbors, friends, and family members. Her own sister hasn’t spoken to her in 25 years. I’m an only child, so I’ve always felt I have to just suck it up and deal, but her narcissistic ways have caused me to hate her behavior and, truthfully, to hate her. Mom is a young sixtysomething but extremely lazy and rarely leaves the house.
Recently, one of my aunts told me that my mother seems to be obsessed with the idea of having my husband arrested. If he so much as drops a glass and curses in frustration, she’s going to call the cops and report him for violence (the last thing he could ever be). My husband and I are understandably horrified. I appreciate my aunt’s giving me a heads up, but honestly she’s tied my hands. I can’t confront my mother about this without throwing my aunt under the bus for telling me. Part of me thinks I should just confront my mom and let the chips fall where they may, especially since my family knows that she is irrational, but everyone just seems happy to let me and my husband drown under her emotional weight. I could really use an objective opinion.