FFIL Girlfriend

[Deleted User]

A little background, my fiance's parents have been divorced for about 10+ years (many years before we met). Despite being divorced for over a decade, there is still a lot of animosity, and there's always tension when FFIL brings his GF (former mistress), to family events. Out of all of his siblings, my FI is the only one that seems to get a long with his father, and although FI doesn't like his dad's girlfriend, she will be invited to our wedding next year.  

Here is my question, does FFIL's GF get mentioned in the wedding program? Do we give her a corsage like we're giving to the MOB and MOG? My FI is worried that recognizing the GF in our program and giving her a corsage will hurt his mom's feelings. I have an amazing relationship with my FMIL, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. I have no relationship with the GF, but I don't want to hurt her feelings either. What does etiquette dictate? 

lyndausvi

No, you do not have to mention her in the program.  Or give her a corsage.  

However, I would still give her a corsage.  It's just a flower.  Like it or not she does make FFIL happy if they have been together for more than 10 years.

 Just my opinion.    Again, you do not have to if you do not want.    I definitely would not put her in a program.      

Jen4948

I think that as long as she's invited and seated with your FFIL, any further recognition and special gestures are up to you and your FI.

banana468

I would give her a corsage and treat her like his SO.   At this point FFIL is divorced and he's with this woman.   The family doesn't need to like her but she needs to be invited and welcomed wherever he is. 

cowgirl8238

Skip the program nod for sure...if you're afraid of her making a big deal out of the corsage then give her one...if not she will be fine without one.  Neither of those are required by etiquette and fall under the "nice gesture" category.

AddieCake

Corsage, yes. Program, no.

[Deleted User]

Thanks, ladies! We'll go with the corsage, and not mention her in the program. 

MesmrEwe

WineAndLipgloss said:

Thanks, ladies! We'll go with the corsage, and not mention her in the program. 

That also doesn't mean you need the same "level" of corsage as your Mom and FMIL get if you do get her one.  The simple one that's a step above a bout is perfectly fine for FSMIL.  It's a recognition, but not pushing by simplifying it.  And, I agree with the PP, I'd leave her out of the program unless they're married by the time of your wedding.

downtondiva

I think that getting her a corsage is a nice (though not required) gesture, though I agree with @MesmrEwe that it doesn't need to be as nice as the ones the moms get. However, she definitely should not be listed in the program, especially if your FI does not have much of a relationship with her and does not consider her a parental figure.