Chit Chat

I'm trying something new with the next 51 days

So FI and I have been working diligently on this wedding of ours for the past 8 (going on 9) months and we are 51 days out from the big day! Venue, dress, suit, bridal party, photographer, dj, caterer, florist, guest gifts, wedding party gifts, trolley for WP, timeline, etc etc etc etc on and on and on. Still have a couple of things we need to do but I've been good about keeping up with my spreadsheet on month to month things to do. Everything matches, everything is coordinated, I have spreadsheets and contracts coming out of my ears. Everybody keeps asking: How is wedding planning? Do you have *fill in the blank* taken care of? Are you getting excited? How much longer? What are you still working on? 

There are SO MANY DETAILS when it comes to planning a wedding. My brain has turned into a color coded OCD bridal planning machine capable of multi-tasking and multi-thinking, the likes of which I've never seen before. Last night we sat down with our Priest to figure out the order of the service. I had all of our passages written down, who was reading what verse (equally split up between both families of course) what Responsorial Psalms we wanted, what order our WP was coming in and with whom. We got to the part where we were going over our vows and he said: "Let's just take a moment to pause here because I want to slow down for a minute and make sure you both really understand what's going on during this part of the service." He went on to explain in detail that the words we will be saying to one another are the same words that have been said for centuries. How many couples through the ages have solemnly expressed their unending love for one another. To stay together no matter what happens. To love each other and be committed to one another for the rest of their lives. We are standing before God and everyone we love and We. Are. Getting. Married. My heart sped up and my brain slowed down. 

It is so easy to get lost in the details of the day. To worry about what etiquette is correct and what wording is appropriate. Trying to decide what to do that the least amount of people will side eye. At the end of the day, you're getting married to the love of your life. Everything else is details that, while huge in your brain right now, honestly don't matter when it's all said and done. Be happy. Be excited. Don't stress. Don't get lost in the nonsense of your wedding day. Just be with one another. Take it all in. Make the entire experience positive. And focus on the end goal. Get married. Have fun. Love one another. The rest of the stuff is just stuff. 

Re: I'm trying something new with the next 51 days

  • Well said.

    When I got engaged the first time, all I wanted was to keep things simple. Well, mom, dad, and grandmom got involved and I immediately got sucked into wedding planning. It was my life for almost two years. I planned an absolutely awesome party. However, I never really took the time to think about what I was doing and the meaning behind those words. My focus on all things wedding blinded me to the red flags that were being raised. Even our minister raised a flag and I quickly ignored it.

    When I was so fortunate enough to meet my now H and we decided to get married, there was no decisions to make. We wanted a wedding that was all about the commitment, the words, and our love. None of that other stuff (not that there is anything wrong with that stuff!) "got in the way". Other than the amount of travel it took to get to our wedding, it was one of the most simple, intimate, and personal weddings I've ever attended. Not that I'm biased or anything...

     







  • Well said!  So many people are focused on the party after the ceremony, they forget the significance of the ceremony itself! 
  • Amen!  I actually give TK a lot of credit for helping me "see the light".  I was having a small and intimate ceremony/reception with substantially fewer of the "bells and whistles" that the typical wedding and events leading up to it have.  It's hard to rip yourself away from the "look" the wedding industry and movies/tv portray a wedding to be.

    I kept trying to figure out how to MAKE things happen, that really didn't fit into the vibe or the venue (my mom's backyard).  For example, "I have to have a bouquet toss, because everyone has a bouquet toss".  Except, there was really nowhere to do one and, more importantly, most of my guests were already married/seeing someone.  Verdict from TK:  Totally unnecessary and many people don't like them anyway.  Awesome!

    The gist from all the posts on TK were so freeing and an epiphany.

    1)  The most important thing is marrying the love of your life.  That's the reason for the ceremony in the first place and is taking an important step for the rest of your life.  Not for just that day.

    2)  If guests are invited, they must be properly hosted with a seat for every butt.  Plenty of food and drink, appropriate for that time of day.  Other than that, most of the rest is just gravy.

    I was able to step down my stress.  What I was planning was perfectly fine.  I didn't have to pick out a MOH dress, just let her choose.  I didn't have to have a DJ, bouquet toss, and favors (though I did an edible treat for those).

    It was okay if everything didn't go perfectly.  The main thing was, I was planning what should be a fun and beautiful day (and was) to spend with my new H and our closest friends and family.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Agreed!! Tbh I give TK credit for that list of things to do and when. Kept me knowing of timelines. I had stuff written down, but lists are easily lost.

    Things I thought would be easy weren't, things I thought would be hard weren't.
    End of the day, I remember sitting at the table and eating dinner with my new H and we both kind of smiled and said about same time how happy we were everything turned out and how we had all our loved ones in the same room, either in person or via photo.


    One thing I would change would be writing down a speech. I should NOT have done that on the fly, but I didn't want to do one.
  • edited August 2016
    Your wedding is a day before ours, @FeelTheRain! I'm trying to keep a similar attitude.
  • I just love reading these posts.  We see so many self absorbed brides worried about details that really don't matter.  It is nice to see that there are some people who are getting it right!
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  •  "Let's just take a moment to pause here because I want to slow down for a minute and make sure you both really understand what's going on during this part of the service." He went on to explain in detail that the words we will be saying to one another are the same words that have been said for centuries. How many couples through the ages have solemnly expressed their unending love for one another. To stay together no matter what happens. To love each other and be committed to one another for the rest of their lives. We are standing before God and everyone we love and We. Are. Getting. Married. My heart sped up and my brain slowed down. 

    Damnit, I think I have something in my eye. 

    image
  • I love this. We met with our officiant yesterday and it was so refreshing to be talking about the getting married, instead of focusing on the party we're throwing. Don't get me wrong, we're going to throw a kick-ass party, but I got reminded yesterday that I get to leave that kick-ass party married. Whoa.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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