Who Pays for the Day After Brunch?

kvruns

mollybarker11 said:

The day after my brother's wedding, immediate family went to their house to eat leftovers from the dinner and watch them open gifts. I enjoyed it because I am close to them (and nosy!) but I think it would be terribly awkward and dull for most guests to watch you open all your gifts.

that's how my brother's was too and it wasn't bad since it was just immediate family. After our wedding we went to my parents' house just to get stuff they had brought home from the venue and they had all of our cards from the wedding and wanted us to open them there. It was a little weird but we did it. We didn't have any physical presents (didn't register) so it wasn't the most exciting I'm sure but whatever they wanted it.

cowgirl8238

I would skip any gift opening and keep that to yourselves.  Not everyone will have their gifts with them and it sounds like a cross between bored and awkward. 

Stick with a word-of-mouth "Hey we'll be eating at X place at Y time, if you want to come by and say goodbye" and call it a day...if mom wants a fully hosted brunch she can host it.  And seriously, I hope you didn't ask the Grooms side to pay for anything...no one has to host (fund) anything that they don't offer to host, not e-parties, not showers, not RD's, weddings or brunches!

MaggieF1990

I have never been to a next-day brunch and never even thought of it as a hosted event. Usually anything I hear about is what PPs have mentioned, "We'll be having breakfast at X place at X time, feel free to join us," and everyone pays for their own meal.

We left for our honeymoon at 7 a.m. the day after our wedding. My mom did host a brunch for family and out of town guests (at home that she cooked, not at a restaurant), but that was 100% her choice and just something she wanted to do because her family and some friends had come in from out of town. No one expected it, and we weren't even there, so I'd consider it more of a get-together because her family was there, but a "wedding" event for my husband and me.

SwissMs

FWIW: Every wedding I've been to as an adult had a hosted brunch the day after.  This is probably because my adult friends have far-flung friends so tend to have several hosted wedding events so everyone can catch-up.  The hosts have been different: groom's parents, bride's parents, groom's brother, most often the couple themselves.  My FI and I will be hosting a really casual drop-in, leave when you want type of event close to public transportation to the airport the morning after for anyone who wants to stop by on the way out of town or before sightseeing for the day.  

We are paying for our entire weekend ourselves, and are leaning towards over-hosting given that we are from 2 different countries and live in a 3rd country.  No matter what we do, it's going to be something of a destination wedding for our guests!

I don't think brunch is necessary at all - and as PPs have said, whoever wants it pays for it.  But if you do chose to have people meet up for something that is not hosted, I would be very careful in how you word the word-of-mouth info.

thisismynickname2

Wait a second, wait a second.
Re: gift opening. Why is that being called boring and awkward when there are SHOWERS to open gifts prior to the wedding that are perfectly acceptable?

Serious question here. 

FWIW, I didn't have a bridal shower because I find them boring and superfluous in the grand scheme of weddings. I don't enjoy others' showers either. I'd hate a gift-opening brunch after the wedding. But I don't see the logic of saying a post-wedding gift opening event is so horrible but showers pre-wedding are fine. 
If you're part of a circle that does bring a lot of boxed gifts to weddings, what's the big deal? If you're in a circle that primarily does cash for weddings, then a gift-opening is a moot point, a non-event. Nothing to open. 

[Deleted User]

thisismynickname said:

Wait a second, wait a second.
Re: gift opening. Why is that being called boring and awkward when there are SHOWERS to open gifts prior to the wedding that are perfectly acceptable?

Serious question here. 

FWIW, I didn't have a bridal shower because I find them boring and superfluous in the grand scheme of weddings. I don't enjoy others' showers either. I'd hate a gift-opening brunch after the wedding. But I don't see the logic of saying a post-wedding gift opening event is so horrible but showers pre-wedding are fine. 
If you're part of a circle that does bring a lot of boxed gifts to weddings, what's the big deal? If you're in a circle that primarily does cash for weddings, then a gift-opening is a moot point, a non-event. Nothing to open. 

Showers are boring too (my opinion).

No ones saying that you can't do a gift opening the next day but that if you have the option many people wouldn't enjoy it anyways. Also a next day brunch doesn't have to include opening gifts. The event can stand on its own without that. A shower is pointless without the gift opening part. 

banana468

FWIW, at the shower, I received THINGS.   At the wedding, we received half a dozen boxed gifts and then envelopes.

It's one thing to ooh and aaahhh over a cookbook or silicone basting brushes.   It's another to go, "OOooooh!   Uncle Morty gave me $500 bucks!"

Beyond that, IMO the envelope gifts are private.   

wmam35

Personally I think the day-after-wedding gift opening would be boring because (at least in my experience) most people don't bring a boxed gift to the wedding and gift money instead.  I'm not super excited to watch you open a bunch of cards with checks in it.

A shower is different because it's a specifically gift giving occasion so you're going to see actual physical gifts being opened.  It can be boring too, depending on how slowly the bride goes through the gifts, but at least maybe a little less awkward because you know that's what the point of the shower is.  But I also like showers so I don't find the gift opening boring

fyrchk

STARMOON44 said:

Why would anyone even bring boxed gifts to a destination wedding? Open your gifts at home. With your husband.

We had ONE boxed gift. Everything else was a card or was sent to our house.

I've been to one day after brunch. It was hosted by the bride's family, at their house, and it was very low-key.

aurianna

So I had a morning after brunch. My mom planned and paid for most of my wedding and she also wanted the brunch. She told me it was traditional to open presents during it and I just went along with it (oops).

Now, it was at my mom's house and just husband's immediate family, mine and I think my aunt maybe and one friend. I'm fuzzy now. So while we didn't have to worry about the awkwardness of someone not having a present for us to open, it was still pretty awkward. Thankfully pretty quick into it people continued to chat and eat and hubby and I just opened presents concurrently and just held up particularly fun things or neat cards or whatever. It was less weird when it stopped being a center focus of attention.
Still, I wish we hadn't done it.

PrettyGirlLost

thisismynickname said:

Wait a second, wait a second.
Re: gift opening. Why is that being called boring and awkward when there are SHOWERS to open gifts prior to the wedding that are perfectly acceptable?

Serious question here. 

FWIW, I didn't have a bridal shower because I find them boring and superfluous in the grand scheme of weddings. I don't enjoy others' showers either. I'd hate a gift-opening brunch after the wedding. But I don't see the logic of saying a post-wedding gift opening event is so horrible but showers pre-wedding are fine. 
If you're part of a circle that does bring a lot of boxed gifts to weddings, what's the big deal? If you're in a circle that primarily does cash for weddings, then a gift-opening is a moot point, a non-event. Nothing to open. 

I'm with you on this one.  Watch ppl open gifts before the wedding, watch ppl open gifts after the wedding, no difference to me.

kahluakoala

thisismynickname said:

Wait a second, wait a second.
Re: gift opening. Why is that being called boring and awkward when there are SHOWERS to open gifts prior to the wedding that are perfectly acceptable?

Serious question here. 

FWIW, I didn't have a bridal shower because I find them boring and superfluous in the grand scheme of weddings. I don't enjoy others' showers either. I'd hate a gift-opening brunch after the wedding. But I don't see the logic of saying a post-wedding gift opening event is so horrible but showers pre-wedding are fine. 
If you're part of a circle that does bring a lot of boxed gifts to weddings, what's the big deal? If you're in a circle that primarily does cash for weddings, then a gift-opening is a moot point, a non-event. Nothing to open. 

I was the one who specifically said "Is this a thing? i've never heard of this, sounds awful". And yes, I find showers to be awful. Showers in my family don't do the whole gift opening thing - they're just a nice day with the ladies in the family over a meal or snacks and then the bride opens presents at home and thanks everyone. My mom and I usually do a nice card and gift card. The first time I attended a shower with gift opening I was pretty horrified - it was so dull and also I think the people who gave smaller gifts felt embarrassed. So I'm team "no events where you have to watch people open gifts" but I'm in the minority here on showers I guess.

flantastic

I think the brunch bit + gift opening is boring and you could have a much better party without the gift opening, but yes, I also think showers are boring. At least with showers, though, you know you're getting a gift opening, while in a lot of the brunch cases people don't realize they're going to be stuck watching this.

cowgirl8238

thisismynickname said:

Wait a second, wait a second.
Re: gift opening. Why is that being called boring and awkward when there are SHOWERS to open gifts prior to the wedding that are perfectly acceptable?

Serious question here. 

I find all of these types of showers boring personally...I dunno that's just me.

In my circle at least, at the wedding most people ONLY get cards filled with cash and checks.  So opening those envelopes is both boring (nothing to look at) and awkward (one person gives $50 and the next $300).  I would also find it awkward for anyone who sent a gift ahead of time and then they are standing at this gift-opening brunch with "nothing" being named to them although they still sent something.

Even if your circle brings physical boxed gifts to a wedding, you still may run into the same problem of people that sent theirs ahead of time, or the people that didn't send one yet and may now feel they have to get more/less based on the gifts opened at the event. 

A shower, is held specifically for opening gifts, and is usually attended by those people that got the Bride and/or Groom a gift.  As in, everyone that is there most likely brought their gift with them, so no one is left standing there worrying if they are the only one in the room that didn't give something, and there are usually a minimal amount of gift cards and checks in envelopes.

I personally, would not enjoy watching someone open a bunch of things at a morning after brunch.  It is not typically a gift giving event and I would have most likely provided a card with a check at the wedding...I don't feel that it is anyone else's business how much I gave the couple for their wedding, and I feel like this could become a "who gave the most" kind of thing.  I know after our wedding, I had to tell my MIL multiple times that who gave what was none of her damn business!!! An event where we opened the gifts and she would have taken notes!

charlotte989875

Re: opening gifts at shower v. day after wedding is that a shower is specifically a gift giving event, and those that choose to attend know this and bring/send gifts. While sure most people give gifts at wedding that isn't the point of the event. Additionally at showers all the gift givers are there, whereas the day after the wedding not everyone will be there so you'll be opening gifts from people not in attendance in front of other people. 

climbingsingle

I've never attended a wedding that included a brunch the next day. In fact, the only times I've attended events like this were for bar mitzvahs. 

I also think it's weird to then turn this brunch into a gift opening event. In my circle, people bring cards and checks to the wedding. How awkward would it be to open a bunch of envelopes with cash in it in front of your guests? Also in my experience, people don't bring boxed gifts to destination weddings. 

Showers are boring as hell. But at least you know what it is going in. You know you're going to be subjected to 2 hours of watching someone open gifts. That's the sole purpose of the shower. If you're going to feed me brunch the day after your wedding - awesome! But please don't make me sit and watch you count the cash you received. 

My H and I opened up our gifts by ourselves the day after. 

ahyatt87

I have attended one wedding where there was a brunch the day after. It was just family at a restaurant and it was not hosted. People came, ate and left when they wanted.

There was definitively no opening of gifts/cards. I would vote for skipping that.

Jen4948

charlotte989875 said:

Re: opening gifts at shower v. day after wedding is that a shower is specifically a gift giving event, and those that choose to attend know this and bring/send gifts. While sure most people give gifts at wedding that isn't the point of the event. Additionally at showers all the gift givers are there, whereas the day after the wedding not everyone will be there so you'll be opening gifts from people not in attendance in front of other people. 

I agree. Also, there are (generally) many fewer gifts to open at showers than at day-after-wedding events, so the opening doesn't take as long.

peachy13

I've never been to a hosted brunch the morning after a wedding, with the exception of staying in the couple's hotel block and the hotel they chose has a complimentary breakfast for guests.

I also think it's kind of a waste, to be honest. The hangover situation is real the morning after a great wedding. I personally like to be on my way home as early as possible so that I can be a piece of crap on the couch all day. If you have the budget to host an open invitation brunch, that's great, but I think you may need to plan on only have a handful of guests actually show.

thisismynickname2

Jen4948 said:

charlotte989875 said:

Re: opening gifts at shower v. day after wedding is that a shower is specifically a gift giving event, and those that choose to attend know this and bring/send gifts. While sure most people give gifts at wedding that isn't the point of the event. Additionally at showers all the gift givers are there, whereas the day after the wedding not everyone will be there so you'll be opening gifts from people not in attendance in front of other people. 

I agree. Also, there are (generally) many fewer gifts to open at showers than at day-after-wedding events, so the opening doesn't take as long.

I mean, I'm not trying to be contentious here and we're digressing a bit, but I get super annoyed at the concept of showers. You don't have a shower for no good reason. You have a shower because you're getting married. I rather resent the fact that if I go to a shower society expects me to provide gifts twice- once at the shower and once at the wedding. (I just split my budget between the two.)  To me, a shower is a convenient and "fun" way for people to give boxed gifts so that the couple doesn't have the hassle of carrying home boxes after a wedding- regardless of where the wedding is. To me, the gift given at a shower should be THE wedding gift. I don't how society ended up like this but it makes no sense to me to give multiple gifts. BAH HUMBUG.
So a huge "no" from me to inviting people to watch you open gifts after the wedding. These days it's normally just cash as like we say for showers, opening cash in front of people is tacky. 

SaintPaulGal

So I guess I am going to have to defend the gift-opening brunch. Which is funny, because I don't plan on having one.

I know "it's regional" is a hugely unpopular phrase here, and often for good reason. But in my circle and in my area the gift-opening brunch is very popular. Nowhere near ubiquitous, but certainly common.  In fact, it's common enough that the person who does offsite wedding room blocks at work asks each new client she talks to whether they are doing a gift opening brunch and if they have a venue picked out for that.  It's a standard question with every inquiry.  I don't have any great love for the tradition, but I also don't like seeing it unfairly skewered here.

In my own personal experience, this is one of those events that used to have a very limited guest list, but just as the rehearsal dinner has often ballooned to include tons of extra people so has the morning after brunch.  Originally, it was the new spouses and the wedding party that got together to share one more meal, sip a few mimosas, and open the gifts.  (Most often someone in the bridal party would offer to record who gave what for the purposes of future thank you cards.)  Then it grew.  Well, what about the out of town guests?  And what about close family?  And then what about the rest of our friends?  Etc, etc, etc. And now it's a "thing."

And no, of course  you don't open the cards and count cash in front of people. A gift opening is for boxed gifts.  And if your dislike for watching people open gifts outweighs your appreciation for free brunch foods, then maybe skip an event called "gift-opening brunch."

Jen4948

SaintPaulGal said:

So I guess I am going to have to defend the gift-opening brunch. Which is funny, because I don't plan on having one.

I know "it's regional" is a hugely unpopular phrase here, and often for good reason. But in my circle and in my area the gift-opening brunch is very popular. Nowhere near ubiquitous, but certainly common.  In fact, it's common enough that the person who does offsite wedding room blocks at work asks each new client she talks to whether they are doing a gift opening brunch and if they have a venue picked out for that.  It's a standard question with every inquiry.  I don't have any great love for the tradition, but I also don't like seeing it unfairly skewered here.

In my own personal experience, this is one of those events that used to have a very limited guest list, but just as the rehearsal dinner has often ballooned to include tons of extra people so has the morning after brunch.  Originally, it was the new spouses and the wedding party that got together to share one more meal, sip a few mimosas, and open the gifts.  (Most often someone in the bridal party would offer to record who gave what for the purposes of future thank you cards.)  Then it grew.  Well, what about the out of town guests?  And what about close family?  And then what about the rest of our friends?  Etc, etc, etc. And now it's a "thing."

And no, of course  you don't open the cards and count cash in front of people. A gift opening is for boxed gifts.  And if your dislike for watching people open gifts outweighs your appreciation for free brunch foods, then maybe skip an event called "gift-opening brunch."

The problem often is that the event is not called a "gift-opening brunch" but just a "brunch." The guests don't know that the couple plans to open their gifts at the brunch until they actually do it.

SaintPaulGal

Jen4948 said:

SaintPaulGal said:

So I guess I am going to have to defend the gift-opening brunch. Which is funny, because I don't plan on having one.

I know "it's regional" is a hugely unpopular phrase here, and often for good reason. But in my circle and in my area the gift-opening brunch is very popular. Nowhere near ubiquitous, but certainly common.  In fact, it's common enough that the person who does offsite wedding room blocks at work asks each new client she talks to whether they are doing a gift opening brunch and if they have a venue picked out for that.  It's a standard question with every inquiry.  I don't have any great love for the tradition, but I also don't like seeing it unfairly skewered here.

In my own personal experience, this is one of those events that used to have a very limited guest list, but just as the rehearsal dinner has often ballooned to include tons of extra people so has the morning after brunch.  Originally, it was the new spouses and the wedding party that got together to share one more meal, sip a few mimosas, and open the gifts.  (Most often someone in the bridal party would offer to record who gave what for the purposes of future thank you cards.)  Then it grew.  Well, what about the out of town guests?  And what about close family?  And then what about the rest of our friends?  Etc, etc, etc. And now it's a "thing."

And no, of course  you don't open the cards and count cash in front of people. A gift opening is for boxed gifts.  And if your dislike for watching people open gifts outweighs your appreciation for free brunch foods, then maybe skip an event called "gift-opening brunch."

The problem often is that the event is not called a "gift-opening brunch" but just a "brunch." The guests don't know that the couple plans to open their gifts at the brunch until they actually do it.

Fair point.  If you are going to invite guests to something, it's important to accurately communicate what that thing is.  I haven't personally seen any invites that were unclear (if anything, it may just be called a "gift opening" with the "brunch" portion implied), but I can see why it would be annoying to find yourself at a gift opening without knowing ahead of time that was what was going on.

kahluakoala

SaintPaulGal said:

Jen4948 said:

SaintPaulGal said:

So I guess I am going to have to defend the gift-opening brunch. Which is funny, because I don't plan on having one.

I know "it's regional" is a hugely unpopular phrase here, and often for good reason. But in my circle and in my area the gift-opening brunch is very popular. Nowhere near ubiquitous, but certainly common.  In fact, it's common enough that the person who does offsite wedding room blocks at work asks each new client she talks to whether they are doing a gift opening brunch and if they have a venue picked out for that.  It's a standard question with every inquiry.  I don't have any great love for the tradition, but I also don't like seeing it unfairly skewered here.

In my own personal experience, this is one of those events that used to have a very limited guest list, but just as the rehearsal dinner has often ballooned to include tons of extra people so has the morning after brunch.  Originally, it was the new spouses and the wedding party that got together to share one more meal, sip a few mimosas, and open the gifts.  (Most often someone in the bridal party would offer to record who gave what for the purposes of future thank you cards.)  Then it grew.  Well, what about the out of town guests?  And what about close family?  And then what about the rest of our friends?  Etc, etc, etc. And now it's a "thing."

And no, of course  you don't open the cards and count cash in front of people. A gift opening is for boxed gifts.  And if your dislike for watching people open gifts outweighs your appreciation for free brunch foods, then maybe skip an event called "gift-opening brunch."

The problem often is that the event is not called a "gift-opening brunch" but just a "brunch." The guests don't know that the couple plans to open their gifts at the brunch until they actually do it.

Fair point.  If you are going to invite guests to something, it's important to accurately communicate what that thing is.  I haven't personally seen any invites that were unclear (if anything, it may just be called a "gift opening" with the "brunch" portion implied), but I can see why it would be annoying to find yourself at a gift opening without knowing ahead of time that was what was going on.

I fully believe this is regional. I'm in a region / culture where boxed gifts are VERY uncommon. To the point where my mom doesn't really understand what registries are because she JUST gives cash. So that's why this has never been a "thing" I'm aware of. 

banana468

SaintPaulGal said:

Jen4948 said:

SaintPaulGal said:

So I guess I am going to have to defend the gift-opening brunch. Which is funny, because I don't plan on having one.

I know "it's regional" is a hugely unpopular phrase here, and often for good reason. But in my circle and in my area the gift-opening brunch is very popular. Nowhere near ubiquitous, but certainly common.  In fact, it's common enough that the person who does offsite wedding room blocks at work asks each new client she talks to whether they are doing a gift opening brunch and if they have a venue picked out for that.  It's a standard question with every inquiry.  I don't have any great love for the tradition, but I also don't like seeing it unfairly skewered here.

In my own personal experience, this is one of those events that used to have a very limited guest list, but just as the rehearsal dinner has often ballooned to include tons of extra people so has the morning after brunch.  Originally, it was the new spouses and the wedding party that got together to share one more meal, sip a few mimosas, and open the gifts.  (Most often someone in the bridal party would offer to record who gave what for the purposes of future thank you cards.)  Then it grew.  Well, what about the out of town guests?  And what about close family?  And then what about the rest of our friends?  Etc, etc, etc. And now it's a "thing."

And no, of course  you don't open the cards and count cash in front of people. A gift opening is for boxed gifts.  And if your dislike for watching people open gifts outweighs your appreciation for free brunch foods, then maybe skip an event called "gift-opening brunch."

The problem often is that the event is not called a "gift-opening brunch" but just a "brunch." The guests don't know that the couple plans to open their gifts at the brunch until they actually do it.

Fair point.  If you are going to invite guests to something, it's important to accurately communicate what that thing is.  I haven't personally seen any invites that were unclear (if anything, it may just be called a "gift opening" with the "brunch" portion implied), but I can see why it would be annoying to find yourself at a gift opening without knowing ahead of time that was what was going on.

Nope.   The date and time should be sufficient and there's no need to describe the event further.

::throws up in mouth:: 

SaintPaulGal

KahluaKoala said:

SaintPaulGal said:

Jen4948 said:

SaintPaulGal said:

So I guess I am going to have to defend the gift-opening brunch. Which is funny, because I don't plan on having one.

I know "it's regional" is a hugely unpopular phrase here, and often for good reason. But in my circle and in my area the gift-opening brunch is very popular. Nowhere near ubiquitous, but certainly common.  In fact, it's common enough that the person who does offsite wedding room blocks at work asks each new client she talks to whether they are doing a gift opening brunch and if they have a venue picked out for that.  It's a standard question with every inquiry.  I don't have any great love for the tradition, but I also don't like seeing it unfairly skewered here.

In my own personal experience, this is one of those events that used to have a very limited guest list, but just as the rehearsal dinner has often ballooned to include tons of extra people so has the morning after brunch.  Originally, it was the new spouses and the wedding party that got together to share one more meal, sip a few mimosas, and open the gifts.  (Most often someone in the bridal party would offer to record who gave what for the purposes of future thank you cards.)  Then it grew.  Well, what about the out of town guests?  And what about close family?  And then what about the rest of our friends?  Etc, etc, etc. And now it's a "thing."

And no, of course  you don't open the cards and count cash in front of people. A gift opening is for boxed gifts.  And if your dislike for watching people open gifts outweighs your appreciation for free brunch foods, then maybe skip an event called "gift-opening brunch."

The problem often is that the event is not called a "gift-opening brunch" but just a "brunch." The guests don't know that the couple plans to open their gifts at the brunch until they actually do it.

Fair point.  If you are going to invite guests to something, it's important to accurately communicate what that thing is.  I haven't personally seen any invites that were unclear (if anything, it may just be called a "gift opening" with the "brunch" portion implied), but I can see why it would be annoying to find yourself at a gift opening without knowing ahead of time that was what was going on.

I fully believe this is regional. I'm in a region / culture where boxed gifts are VERY uncommon. To the point where my mom doesn't really understand what registries are because she JUST gives cash. So that's why this has never been a "thing" I'm aware of. 

I'd say that in my area/circle boxed gifts vs cards with money are probably somewhere around 50/50, or maybe weighted slightly toward more physical gifts.  I haven't been to any destination weddings, like the OP is planning, so I don't actually know how that would go but I would think it would mean far fewer physical gifts being lugged back and forth.

climbingsingle

I still don't understand the gift opening portion of this. Why open the gifts? Why does this need to be done in front of your brunch guests? If the brunch is to spend more time with people, why include something where you're not really interacting with your guests?

Also, let's say Aunt Mary could only afford a boxed gift of hand towels. That gift is then opened up and displayed for everyone to see, while Uncle Jim gave you a $300 vase. IMO, it just comes off as distasteful. 

banana468

climbingwife said:

I still don't understand the gift opening portion of this. Why open the gifts? Why does this need to be done in front of your brunch guests? If the brunch is to spend more time with people, why include something where you're not really interacting with your guests?

Also, let's say Aunt Mary could only afford a boxed gift of hand towels. That gift is then opened up and displayed for everyone to see, while Uncle Jim gave you a $300 vase. IMO, it just comes off as distasteful. 

This.   If I thought you were going to do a public gift opening after the wedding I probably would send you a wedding gift a week or two after the big day.

I give a shower gift knowing that it's for public viewing.   I give a wedding gift with the concept that it's for the B&G's eyes only. 

PrettyGirlLost

Jen4948 said:

charlotte989875 said:

Re: opening gifts at shower v. day after wedding is that a shower is specifically a gift giving event, and those that choose to attend know this and bring/send gifts. While sure most people give gifts at wedding that isn't the point of the event. Additionally at showers all the gift givers are there, whereas the day after the wedding not everyone will be there so you'll be opening gifts from people not in attendance in front of other people. 

I agree. Also, there are (generally) many fewer gifts to open at showers than at day-after-wedding events, so the opening doesn't take as long.

In my experience there are waaaaay more gifts to open at showers than physical gifts given at the wedding, and in my circle many people give physical gifts at weddings.

I went to a wedding in Canada once where we were invited to have brunch and wedding left overs with the B&G and their families the next day.  They opened their wedding gifts and cards at this time.  I thought it was nice to be included and I wasn't bored or felt that it was awkward.

ILoveBeachMusic

In our area and amongst my friends, we give boxed gifts. I know that DD and SIL received a fair amount of cash in addition to everything off their registry. They did not live together before marriage and pretty much had hand me down household items so they updated those. To the poster that was questioning how showers came about in our society - they have been around for a long time. They were to help the couple (bride) set up her household and the gifts were usually on the smaller side - kitchen gadgets, kitchen towels, bath towels etc. As everything else, it seems to have gotten bigger over the years. I understand now that most people split their gift giving budget between the shower and the wedding gift and that is perfectly acceptable. I have an amount I will spend on the shower gift and a different amount on the wedding gift, all depending on my relationship to the couple.