"Please silence cell phones....."

justsie

So we just received the program from our officiant and right there on the first page is "Please silence your cell phones during our worship together". I am not making this request, it is the request of the officiant since our ceremony will have aspects of worship in it. Would you find this rude? I want to say that I remember this discussion happening on here before, but I can't for the life of me find it or remember the outcome. Just wanting to know if I should email him back for request to remove that line. 

thisismynickname2

Sounds like a religious ceremony in a house of worship? Not rude.

A bit odd it's on the first page. I'm used to seeing that more at the bottom in fine print or something. 

ILoveBeachMusic

You are ok because it is the officiant making the request not you.

ei34

Asking guests to silence their phones at the beginning of the ceremony, especially in a house of worship, is the only acceptable request that can be made of adults regarding their phones.  If you're still worried about that annoying people, maybe ask the officiant to just say it at the beginning of the ceremony, instead of having it in print?

InLoveInQueens

eileenrob said:

Asking guests to silence their phones at the beginning of the ceremony, especially in a house of worship, is the only acceptable request that can be made of adults regarding their phones.  If you're still worried about that annoying people, maybe ask the officiant to just say it at the beginning of the ceremony, instead of having it in print?

I agree, sometimes people need a reminder. Telling people no phones is a different thing. While I keep my phone on silent by default I wouldn't side-eye the request since it's reasonable and understandable.

Jen4948

InLoveInQueens said:

eileenrob said:

Asking guests to silence their phones at the beginning of the ceremony, especially in a house of worship, is the only acceptable request that can be made of adults regarding their phones.  If you're still worried about that annoying people, maybe ask the officiant to just say it at the beginning of the ceremony, instead of having it in print?

I agree, sometimes people need a reminder. Telling people no phones is a different thing. While I keep my phone on silent by default I wouldn't side-eye the request since it's reasonable and understandable.

I agree too. There are times when people need to be reminded to silence their phones, and wedding ceremonies are among them. 

Since you wouldn't be making the request and you're not asking that they not take photos, I think you would be fine.

cowgirl8238

I'm with @eileenrob in that if you feel it is rude, to ask that the pastor remove the wording from the program and just make an announcement instead.  I personally wouldn't side eye the wording, but I feel like someone might.

MobKaz

Some churches have restrictions regarding cell phones.  Clearly in a house of worship, nothing should detract from the religious ceremony.

In some parishes, a cantor will say this routinely at the beginning of every mass.  It's a polite and gentle reminder that we live in an age of technology.  I see this as no different than being reminded prior to the start of a movie.

ernursej

I'm one the people that appreciate the request as I would never want to be caught having forgotten to turn mine off. I think it is fine.

CMGragain

I once played a service for a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher.  Somebody's phone went off during his sermon, and he stopped, pointed a finger, and yelled, "That phone call had better be from GOD!"  Talk about embarrassment!

photokitty

I'm guessing by program, the OP meant the script of the ceremony, not the program to be handed out to the guests.

The officiant in a house of worship can make the request bc it is requested by the house of worship, not the couple.

justsie

It isn't a house of worship, but it is a religious ceremony, and you guys are right, requesting to silence phones is not the same as asking people to not pull them out. I'm actually looking forward to seeing cellphone pictures
@thisismynickname its in small print at the bottom of the first page. It's not obtrusive but it is there. 

justsie

photokitty said:

I'm guessing by program, the OP meant the script of the ceremony, not the program to be handed out to the guests.

The officiant in a house of worship can make the request bc it is requested by the house of worship, not the couple.

Nope, I meant the program. The officiant wants us to hand out basically the script due to the fact that most people attending are not a part of the religion and there are some areas where if the audience wants to participate they can. But what the officiant has requested we provide for the guests is essentially the script. 

MesmrEwe

CMGragain said:

I once played a service for a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher.  Somebody's phone went off during his sermon, and he stopped, pointed a finger, and yelled, "That phone call had better be from GOD!"  Talk about embarrassment!

My Dad is a town chairman - his phone rarely if ever rings (he doesn't even have internet - the mere fact he had his phone with him was unusual hence forgetting to leave it in the truck was odd in itself), but during a mass in the next town over, it rang - and some nun got all bent out of shape over it.  Thing is, the call was from the Sheriff's Department for a township emergency that they needed authorization to shut down the road and him to authorize the Highway Department to put up signage (per state law) because of a culvert being washed out...  It wasn't a social call and the SD would have sent an officer to find him if necessary.  I liken it to "there are exceptions to every rule" ..  I've also been in back when Medical Doctors have gotten emergency calls and need to make a decision on a patient's care.  Heck, the parish in the small town I grew up, they don't even get worked up over the members of the small-town fire department being at mass and getting paged out (even in the middle of a wedding or funeral), it's the smoothest movement you'd ever see watching the "seas part" to let them out to the nearest exit - especially when one of them is on the Altar! 

OP - an announcement to "Please take a moment to silence your phones" is perfectly acceptable!  Asking guests to turn their phones completely off for the duration of the ceremony and stow them - not o.k...

CMGragain

MesmrEwe said:

CMGragain said:

I once played a service for a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher.  Somebody's phone went off during his sermon, and he stopped, pointed a finger, and yelled, "That phone call had better be from GOD!"  Talk about embarrassment!

My Dad is a town chairman - his phone rarely if ever rings (he doesn't even have internet - the mere fact he had his phone with him was unusual hence forgetting to leave it in the truck was odd in itself), but during a mass in the next town over, it rang - and some nun got all bent out of shape over it.  Thing is, the call was from the Sheriff's Department for a township emergency that they needed authorization to shut down the road and him to authorize the Highway Department to put up signage (per state law) because of a culvert being washed out...  It wasn't a social call and the SD would have sent an officer to find him if necessary.  I liken it to "there are exceptions to every rule" ..  I've also been in back when Medical Doctors have gotten emergency calls and need to make a decision on a patient's care.  Heck, the parish in the small town I grew up, they don't even get worked up over the members of the small-town fire department being at mass and getting paged out (even in the middle of a wedding or funeral), it's the smoothest movement you'd ever see watching the "seas part" to let them out to the nearest exit - especially when one of them is on the Altar! 

OP - an announcement to "Please take a moment to silence your phones" is perfectly acceptable!  Asking guests to turn their phones completely off for the duration of the ceremony and stow them - not o.k...

This is what the vibrate mode is for.  It is very rude to leave your cell phone ring tone on during a religious service.

OurWildKingdom

MesmrEwe said:

CMGragain said:

I once played a service for a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher.  Somebody's phone went off during his sermon, and he stopped, pointed a finger, and yelled, "That phone call had better be from GOD!"  Talk about embarrassment!

My Dad is a town chairman - his phone rarely if ever rings (he doesn't even have internet - the mere fact he had his phone with him was unusual hence forgetting to leave it in the truck was odd in itself), but during a mass in the next town over, it rang - and some nun got all bent out of shape over it.  Thing is, the call was from the Sheriff's Department for a township emergency that they needed authorization to shut down the road and him to authorize the Highway Department to put up signage (per state law) because of a culvert being washed out...  It wasn't a social call and the SD would have sent an officer to find him if necessary.  I liken it to "there are exceptions to every rule" ..  I've also been in back when Medical Doctors have gotten emergency calls and need to make a decision on a patient's care.  Heck, the parish in the small town I grew up, they don't even get worked up over the members of the small-town fire department being at mass and getting paged out (even in the middle of a wedding or funeral), it's the smoothest movement you'd ever see watching the "seas part" to let them out to the nearest exit - especially when one of them is on the Altar! 

OP - an announcement to "Please take a moment to silence your phones" is perfectly acceptable!  Asking guests to turn their phones completely off for the duration of the ceremony and stow them - not o.k...

I can relate, @MesmrEwe. My Mom is a retired nurse, and I remember quite a few times in my childhood and adolescence when her beeper went off during Mass (in the days before cell phones). When she finally got a phone, she would set it to vibrate if she knew she was going to be in church or somewhere else that required quiet. No one ever gave her grief about it.

photokitty

OurWildKingdom said:

MesmrEwe said:

CMGragain said:

I once played a service for a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher.  Somebody's phone went off during his sermon, and he stopped, pointed a finger, and yelled, "That phone call had better be from GOD!"  Talk about embarrassment!

My Dad is a town chairman - his phone rarely if ever rings (he doesn't even have internet - the mere fact he had his phone with him was unusual hence forgetting to leave it in the truck was odd in itself), but during a mass in the next town over, it rang - and some nun got all bent out of shape over it.  Thing is, the call was from the Sheriff's Department for a township emergency that they needed authorization to shut down the road and him to authorize the Highway Department to put up signage (per state law) because of a culvert being washed out...  It wasn't a social call and the SD would have sent an officer to find him if necessary.  I liken it to "there are exceptions to every rule" ..  I've also been in back when Medical Doctors have gotten emergency calls and need to make a decision on a patient's care.  Heck, the parish in the small town I grew up, they don't even get worked up over the members of the small-town fire department being at mass and getting paged out (even in the middle of a wedding or funeral), it's the smoothest movement you'd ever see watching the "seas part" to let them out to the nearest exit - especially when one of them is on the Altar! 

OP - an announcement to "Please take a moment to silence your phones" is perfectly acceptable!  Asking guests to turn their phones completely off for the duration of the ceremony and stow them - not o.k...

I can relate, @MesmrEwe. My Mom is a retired nurse, and I remember quite a few times in my childhood and adolescence when her beeper went off during Mass (in the days before cell phones). When she finally got a phone, she would set it to vibrate if she knew she was going to be in church or somewhere else that required quiet. No one ever gave her grief about it.

Probably because they were too polite to point out the rude behavior of others. 

Viczaesar

photokitty said:

OurWildKingdom said:

MesmrEwe said:

CMGragain said:

I once played a service for a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher.  Somebody's phone went off during his sermon, and he stopped, pointed a finger, and yelled, "That phone call had better be from GOD!"  Talk about embarrassment!

My Dad is a town chairman - his phone rarely if ever rings (he doesn't even have internet - the mere fact he had his phone with him was unusual hence forgetting to leave it in the truck was odd in itself), but during a mass in the next town over, it rang - and some nun got all bent out of shape over it.  Thing is, the call was from the Sheriff's Department for a township emergency that they needed authorization to shut down the road and him to authorize the Highway Department to put up signage (per state law) because of a culvert being washed out...  It wasn't a social call and the SD would have sent an officer to find him if necessary.  I liken it to "there are exceptions to every rule" ..  I've also been in back when Medical Doctors have gotten emergency calls and need to make a decision on a patient's care.  Heck, the parish in the small town I grew up, they don't even get worked up over the members of the small-town fire department being at mass and getting paged out (even in the middle of a wedding or funeral), it's the smoothest movement you'd ever see watching the "seas part" to let them out to the nearest exit - especially when one of them is on the Altar! 

OP - an announcement to "Please take a moment to silence your phones" is perfectly acceptable!  Asking guests to turn their phones completely off for the duration of the ceremony and stow them - not o.k...

I can relate, @MesmrEwe. My Mom is a retired nurse, and I remember quite a few times in my childhood and adolescence when her beeper went off during Mass (in the days before cell phones). When she finally got a phone, she would set it to vibrate if she knew she was going to be in church or somewhere else that required quiet. No one ever gave her grief about it.

Probably because they were too polite to point out the rude behavior of others. 

It was not rude of her to have a beeper on in church when she was on call.

photokitty

Viczaesar said:

photokitty said:

OurWildKingdom said:

MesmrEwe said:

CMGragain said:

I once played a service for a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher.  Somebody's phone went off during his sermon, and he stopped, pointed a finger, and yelled, "That phone call had better be from GOD!"  Talk about embarrassment!

My Dad is a town chairman - his phone rarely if ever rings (he doesn't even have internet - the mere fact he had his phone with him was unusual hence forgetting to leave it in the truck was odd in itself), but during a mass in the next town over, it rang - and some nun got all bent out of shape over it.  Thing is, the call was from the Sheriff's Department for a township emergency that they needed authorization to shut down the road and him to authorize the Highway Department to put up signage (per state law) because of a culvert being washed out...  It wasn't a social call and the SD would have sent an officer to find him if necessary.  I liken it to "there are exceptions to every rule" ..  I've also been in back when Medical Doctors have gotten emergency calls and need to make a decision on a patient's care.  Heck, the parish in the small town I grew up, they don't even get worked up over the members of the small-town fire department being at mass and getting paged out (even in the middle of a wedding or funeral), it's the smoothest movement you'd ever see watching the "seas part" to let them out to the nearest exit - especially when one of them is on the Altar! 

OP - an announcement to "Please take a moment to silence your phones" is perfectly acceptable!  Asking guests to turn their phones completely off for the duration of the ceremony and stow them - not o.k...

I can relate, @MesmrEwe. My Mom is a retired nurse, and I remember quite a few times in my childhood and adolescence when her beeper went off during Mass (in the days before cell phones). When she finally got a phone, she would set it to vibrate if she knew she was going to be in church or somewhere else that required quiet. No one ever gave her grief about it.

Probably because they were too polite to point out the rude behavior of others. 

It was not rude of her to have a beeper on in church when she was on call.

 It was more directed at her justifying the previous comment. While I agree a beeper, prior to cell phones, was not rude, only if on call for an emergency. Not having your phone on vibrate in a house of worship is rude, regardless of how important you are or what your job may be. If you can't find a way to be polite and respectful, perhaps you should practice your faith at home. That nun just said what everyone one else was thinking and too polite too say themselves.

OurWildKingdom

I wasn't trying to justify anything, merely telling a story that I thought related to @MesmrEwe's comment. Maybe I should have kept it to myself.

Excuse me for posting. Silly me.

FTR, I have no issue with officiants asking guests to silence their phones, either verbally or in writing, before the ceremony. Any implication that I do have an issue with common courtesy is highly insulting. 

All I was doing was commiserating. I wasn't aware that that's forbidden on the boards.

OurWildKingdom

photokitty said:

Viczaesar said:

photokitty said:

OurWildKingdom said:

MesmrEwe said:

CMGragain said:

I once played a service for a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher.  Somebody's phone went off during his sermon, and he stopped, pointed a finger, and yelled, "That phone call had better be from GOD!"  Talk about embarrassment!

My Dad is a town chairman - his phone rarely if ever rings (he doesn't even have internet - the mere fact he had his phone with him was unusual hence forgetting to leave it in the truck was odd in itself), but during a mass in the next town over, it rang - and some nun got all bent out of shape over it.  Thing is, the call was from the Sheriff's Department for a township emergency that they needed authorization to shut down the road and him to authorize the Highway Department to put up signage (per state law) because of a culvert being washed out...  It wasn't a social call and the SD would have sent an officer to find him if necessary.  I liken it to "there are exceptions to every rule" ..  I've also been in back when Medical Doctors have gotten emergency calls and need to make a decision on a patient's care.  Heck, the parish in the small town I grew up, they don't even get worked up over the members of the small-town fire department being at mass and getting paged out (even in the middle of a wedding or funeral), it's the smoothest movement you'd ever see watching the "seas part" to let them out to the nearest exit - especially when one of them is on the Altar! 

OP - an announcement to "Please take a moment to silence your phones" is perfectly acceptable!  Asking guests to turn their phones completely off for the duration of the ceremony and stow them - not o.k...

I can relate, @MesmrEwe. My Mom is a retired nurse, and I remember quite a few times in my childhood and adolescence when her beeper went off during Mass (in the days before cell phones). When she finally got a phone, she would set it to vibrate if she knew she was going to be in church or somewhere else that required quiet. No one ever gave her grief about it.

Probably because they were too polite to point out the rude behavior of others. 

It was not rude of her to have a beeper on in church when she was on call.

 It was more directed at her justifying the previous comment. While I agree a beeper, prior to cell phones, was not rude, only if on call for an emergency. Not having your phone on vibrate in a house of worship is rude, regardless of how important you are or what your job may be. If you can't find a way to be polite and respectful, perhaps you should practice your faith at home. That nun just said what everyone one else was thinking and too polite too say themselves.

I'm not done. So, basically, what you're saying is that first responders, medical professionals, and social workers and therapists are in the same category with people who forget to turn their phones off? 

OurWildKingdom

Also, in most instances (Internet forums excepted) PUBLICLY calling out someone's rudeness is worse than whatever the rude behavior was in the first place.

Just my opinion, for what little it's worth.

[Deleted User]

Having a pager (pre cell phones) or a cell
phone on vibrate isn't rude if you are on call. Pretty sure God doesn't have an issue with doctors (etc jobs) being able to attend to emergencies when required. 

OurWildKingdom

Ironring said:

Having a pager (pre cell phones) or a cell
phone on vibrate isn't rude if you are on call. Pretty sure God doesn't have an issue with doctors (etc jobs) being able to attend to emergencies when required. 

Thank you!

Jen4948

OurWildKingdom said:

Ironring said:

Having a pager (pre cell phones) or a cell
phone on vibrate isn't rude if you are on call. Pretty sure God doesn't have an issue with doctors (etc jobs) being able to attend to emergencies when required. 

Thank you!

Agreed -- but if you can arrange in advance to not be on call when you plan to attend a wedding, I think it would be appreciated if you do so.

OurWildKingdom

Jen4948 said:

OurWildKingdom said:

Ironring said:

Having a pager (pre cell phones) or a cell
phone on vibrate isn't rude if you are on call. Pretty sure God doesn't have an issue with doctors (etc jobs) being able to attend to emergencies when required. 

Thank you!

Agreed -- but if you can arrange in advance to not be on call when you plan to attend a wedding, I think it would be appreciated if you do so.

You're assuming most people have a say in the matter. That's cute.

Jen4948

OurWildKingdom said:

Jen4948 said:

OurWildKingdom said:

Ironring said:

Having a pager (pre cell phones) or a cell
phone on vibrate isn't rude if you are on call. Pretty sure God doesn't have an issue with doctors (etc jobs) being able to attend to emergencies when required. 

Thank you!

Agreed -- but if you can arrange in advance to not be on call when you plan to attend a wedding, I think it would be appreciated if you do so.

You're assuming most people have a say in the matter. That's cute.

No, actually, I'm not assuming anything. I said "if" you can arrange in advance to not be on call when attending a wedding, etc. If you can't, then you can't.

And I don't see what's "cute" about it. While people will generally be understanding if you have to excuse yourself to take an emergency call even during a wedding or a funeral, if it's known that you didn't have to be on call during that time, they may not be so understanding.

[Deleted User]

Those pesky babies always want to be born at the most inopportune times. 
DONT THEY KNOW IM AT A WEDDING? 

monkeysip

OurWildKingdom said:

Also, in most instances (Internet forums excepted) PUBLICLY calling out someone's rudeness is worse than whatever the rude behavior was in the first place.

Just my opinion, for what little it's worth.

I generally agree with this.  I think it's rude not to silence your phone (or put it on vibrate), but I wouldn't go criticize someone for it.  We're all grown adults.  Just let it go.  Especially since it could be an accident.  Unless it's happening every single sunday or something.  

photokitty

OurWildKingdom said:

Also, in most instances (Internet forums excepted) PUBLICLY calling out someone's rudeness is worse than whatever the rude behavior was in the first place.

Just my opinion, for what little it's worth.

In my second post, which you quoted, I said beepers pre-cell phone, were not rude if on call for an emergency.

And you just reiterated my original point. Just bc nobody gives you any grief doesn't mean they aren't offended if you can't be bothered to put your phone on vibrate. They are just polite enough to not call you out.

Basically, if you are a first responder who leaves their on call phone ringer turned up, than yes, I put you in the same category as people who forget to turn their phone off. It's rude, regardless of your profession. 

OurWildKingdom

photokitty said:

OurWildKingdom said:

Also, in most instances (Internet forums excepted) PUBLICLY calling out someone's rudeness is worse than whatever the rude behavior was in the first place.

Just my opinion, for what little it's worth.

In my second post, which you quoted, I said beepers pre-cell phone, were not rude if on call for an emergency.

And you just reiterated my original point. Just bc nobody gives you any grief doesn't mean they aren't offended if you can't be bothered to put your phone on vibrate. They are just polite enough to not call you out.

Basically, if you are a first responder who leaves their on call phone ringer turned up, than yes, I put you in the same category as people who forget to turn their phone off. It's rude, regardless of your profession. 

You apparently missed the part where I said my mother kept her phone on vibrate. And I don't know any first responders who would deliberately leave their ringers turned on in a setting that required quiet.